Life lesson No. 389, or “When not to wear a teeny bikini”
Dear Self,
Please note that wearing a teeny bikini is perfectly fine when you’re posting up in a beach chair or chilling on a towel on the sand, and for such occasions, Tabs also offers the following advice: 1) suck in your tum when the paparazzi stop by, and 2) always apply sunscreen liberally to your bum.
WERK!
Also, it should be noted that teeny bikinis aren’t great apparel choices if you plan to go surfing.
Should your tiny triangle top get knocked off as you try to catch that six-foot wave you/I foolishly thought you could handle (FYI: you are so NOT ready for that jelly), hilarity will almost definitely ensue. 🙂
It takes great skill to keep a long board from floating away while simultaneously searching for a missing bikini top in the surf, without flashing everyone on the beach.
You may consider yourself a fairly coordinated person, but few among us are coordinated enough for this.
Perhaps this summer, if/when you get the urge to go surfing in a teeny bikini, reach for Essie’s Bikini So Teeny Summer 2012 nail polishes instead ($8 each; available now at select salons and beauty supply stores).
That way, while you’re bobbing on your board in your sporty two-piece, waiting for the next set of waves to come in, you’ll be able to admire sky blue Bikini So Teeny, shimmery carnation pink Cascade Cool, molten bronze All Tied Up, creamy hot pink Off the Shoulder, creamy orange Fear or Desire, or creamy Mojito Madness on your fingers and toes, basking in the knowledge that no one will accidentally see your boobies today.
Two coats of these juicy, sumptuous colors should do ya just fine…
Off the Shoulder
Mojito Madness
Fear or Desire
Cascade Cool
Bikini So Teeny
All Tied Up
PRICE: $8 each
AVAILABILITY: Available now at salons and select beauty stores
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: A
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
What a fun post! I love allll the pictures! I really want Bikini So Teeny. I think it’ll be the first blue polish that I love!
Thanks, Sunny! Blue nail polishes are awesome, I love them.
I must have mojito! It’s gorgeous and definitely unique!
Hi LOLbeauty,
That shade is so fun! Love green nail polishes.
I got Bikini So Teeny and I’m loving it! The rest I’m not too crazy about.
Hi Jessica,
I like that color too. Have you tried it on your toes yet? Super cute!
I’ve been looking for Bikini So Teeny all over the place, but no luck yet. Hopefully I can get my hands on one! Also, I am strangely entranced by Mojito Madness… *o*
I’ve spotted it @CVS and also Target. Possibly Walgreens, too. Where do you live?
Hi Dani,
You can find them at Target and Walgreens too!
Dani! I got it on nailpolishcanada.com, they had it up there like a month ago (which surprised me and spurred me to buy almost the whole collection).. free shipping anywhere in Canada over $29, and they have some good brands that are hard to find in Canada.. Plus it seems like they sell Essie polishes cheaper than my local Shoppers.
Mojito madness is amazing too! Such a great green!!
All Tied Up is gorgeous!
Hi Chelsea,
I love that color too! What nail polishes shades are you loving these days?
My favorite right now is a Limited Edition Revlon polish from last summer called Watermelon Fizz – a beautiful coral red with subtle sparkle. I don’t know what I’ll do when I run out!
I’ve also been using a hot pink someone gave me from China Glaze called Rose Among Thorns – she owns the same color, but it looks completely different on both of us.
Bikini So Teeny is such a gorgeous shade and what a cute name! 😀
Hi Appu,
Super cute! It would look great on toes, don’t you think?
What a great group of colors for summer! Of course, I play better with sheers than creams, so All Tied Up is probably my best bet. Unless, the texture is the same for all of them and I’m just mesmerized by the glitter. 🙂
Hi Kim!
You will love that color even more in person. When it’s in the sunlight the secret golden shimmer pops out… so pretty!
What colors have you been wearing/loving lately for your fingers and toes? I’m going through a NARS Thankoon phase, but I think I’ve officially popped out of it now that I’ve met this Essie collection.
You’ll probably GAH when you hear this, but not only did I have the very sheer L’Oreal I Pink I’m in Love (I know, it’s hard to believe I own other polish since this is the only one I use) on my fingers, but I also put it on my toes last week. In my defense, my OPI I’m with Brad is MIA and that’s my total go-to toenail color. By the time I finished hunting for it, I had no time for my back up navy blue (name is not coming to me) since the darker shades are less forgiving with messy application. 🙂
I love essie so so so much and this collection is so amazing!
xoxo
Hi Karo,
Me too! It’s one of my fave nail polish lines.
All Tied up is gorgeous! A refreshing change from the summer brights that we’ve been seeing this season!
All Tied up looks unusual and pretty! Off the shoulder is also lovely!
PS: Don’t you LOVE that look on Tabs’s face!
Hi Musical,
You know, even when he’s chilling out he’s striking a pose. He’s always camera-ready!
I love this collection. I have Mojito Madness and I’m wearing Bikini so teeny right now, it is a perfect blue!
Hi Agata,
Mojito Madness is my fave, I think. It’s going on the toes next. 🙂
How’s work going this week? Good, I hope.
Mojito Madness is a really unique color, I love it too!
Work has been good. yesterday was my day off, went to Ulta so that was a good time 🙂
I love love love Cascade Cool and All Tied Up. I regularly paint my toenails during warm weather so im totally buying those 2!!!
Hi Nina,
Cascade Cool would look so cute with a pair of nude wedges. Hmm… maybe that will be my next pedi.
How are your porch kitties doing? Are they OK in the heat?
Ooohhh … nude wedges are awesome! Theyre fine — and have become pretty regular in showing up for mealtimes (which I am happy for!) … 🙂
Im ready for the weekend, I cannot even begin to tell you how much!
IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GETTING THE FIRST 5 COLORS! I cant wait to purchase and swatch them
Hi Lana,
Those shades are pretty! So fun.
Ooh, I did NOT think I’d like the last one, but I really do! It’s like a modern sophisticated version of mauve.
Hi Jenn,
Yeah, it’s super cool. Very Chanel-esque!
I just saw a new Essie display in one of the Boots store in town. Will check some of them out soon.
I actually like All Tied Up the most of all the colors! This could be my first Essie polish if I can find it here. 🙂
Hi Vonvon,
I hope you can find it! You’ll soon learn that Essie gets addictive. 🙂
Jury’s still out for All Tied Up; I think I need to see it in person.
Hi Nicole,
It’s really cute in person. The shimmer’s subtle, like something Chanel would do.
Hi Karen, I know you’ve been looking for a nude shoe. I just bought a pair of nude wedges by Seychelles they are called “Midas Touch”. They are super cute and comfy. Check they out, they are on sale at piperlime.com 🙂 these polishes would look great with them.
I totally love these colors. So have to get some. Seem so summery and fun, you always show such beautiful things in your blog. Makes me always want to run out and get new stuff. A girl can never have too much… LOL
I think I’m the only one not excited about this collection. Saw them in person at Rite Aid and didn’t get any. I wanted to love Mojito Madness but it’s darker than I expected.
Bikini so teeny looks so cute and original! WANT! I actually just ordered my first one piece swimsuit 🙁 I felt old and lame but I learned that a toddler and a bikini don’t mix. There were way too many areas for her to yank lol
must must must have that All Tied Up – its very unique
oh my goodness, I need to have every. single. one of these IMMEDIATELY! So fun and pretty–it makes me all happy and sunny just looking at it! I might skip on the orange one (as I have enough orange polishes to last me a lifetime) but the other shades are pure summer perfection.
Loving these! I need to all Off the Shoulder, Mojito Madness, and Bikini So Teeny to my collection! Oh! And All Tied Up as well… looks like liquid rose gold… I’m OBSESSED with rose gold!!! xx
I got Bikini So Teeny this week! G.O.R.G.E.O.U.S.
I’m surprised that I’m loving Cascade, Mojito and Fear. I’m not usually a brights person.
Very pretty shades. I like All tied up too but I think I have overloaded on the pinky browns and mauves for a while now.
OMG the picture of you with the sunglasses on and the bottles of polish around you might be the cutest picture ever! You look so happy! Love that picture!