I got 99 problems and my hair is one…
My wavy hair has a natural tendency to go big, puffy, unruly and wild. It would be so cool if I could romanticize the situation by saying, “My hair’s like my personality! It wants to roam free, and it simply will not be tamed!”
But I can’t.
So I won’t. 🙂
I’ve had more awful haircuts than I can count, and have spent many, many hours and possibly millions of watts frying my hair into submission, trying to outwit its natural tendencies.
The hardest thing about dealing with my hair has always been just figuring out what the hell to do with it…
My mom has naturally straight hair and has never really been into hairstyling, so she had no clue. And none of my friends growing up had curly hair, so I couldn’t turn to them for advice, either.
It took a looong time — maybe 20 years — to finally get some kind of handle on my hair.
Now, I mostly know how to wrangle it into submission, so these days, I’m more concerned about my roots. I used to be able to go at least two months between touch-ups, but as more gray peeks through, I’m down to every six weeks.
I actually don’t mind going to the salon to get them done. Its a nice break to sit still for a few hours and read trashy magazines and drink tea. 🙂
How about you? What’s the most difficult aspect of dealing with your hair?
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
The same problem as you, no cut helped me until yesterday that I finally got a hairstylist that know how to cut my hair, so it wont puff .Once I woke up like I had a nest on my hair we called it Kiki’s nest ( kiki is a parrot) and my hair looked like a place he would like to sit for a while.
I had a similar situation to you: My mom didn’t really teach me what to do with my hair, and I was the only curly-haired girl around.
The most difficult thing with my hair, even after years of getting good at styling it, is its tendency to dread. Seriously, if it’s a windy day or I don’t brush it in the morning, it starts to turn into one big ugly dreadlock in the back. I’m regularly tearing through big knots.
Love my hair, though! It took me about 20 years to feel that way, though. <3
My hair is very manageable and quite nice but I wish I didn’t have to wash it every damn day. I cannot leave the house without it washed or it just looks terrible. So oily 🙁
My hair’s fine and straight, so my biggest issue is keeping from looking greasy and weighed down, and keeping volume in my hair. The color is fine, naturally red, and I don’t dye it. I love dry shampoo and sea salt spray.
The bonus of my hair is it doesn’t need to be blown dry to look good, so I rarely do. I like to wear it down, a bit messed up.
I have never used dry shampoo, how do you do it?
I have naturally straight hair (which is a blessing), however, since it’s very fine, too, it tends to fall and lay flat super quickly. It’s also my ends that get really dry and are easily damaged by heat styling, no matter how much (decent) heat protector I use. *sigh*
The grass is always greener on the other side, right?!
it’s all about the cut. and after 30 years i still haven’t found mine. =( it’s naturally wavy hair that gets more compliments blown straight because the layers are always in the wrong places. poodle ear poofs. so it’s mostly blown straight with fingers crossed for low humidity days.
OMG, my hair looks just like your hair after I just blow dry it, or even worse. It’s puffy, frizzy and huge! And wavy! I wish my hair was naturally straight or curly, either way would be good, just not in between 🙂
OMG, did I write this?! Exactly the same hair type! Thick, wavy, frizzy and BIG!!! I use a relaxer, straightening balm, another straightening balm and a flat iron to get it under control, but if there is the slightest bit of humidity or I get a teensy bit hot BAM!!! there’s the pouf again!!
My hair is thick (yay!) and wavy. The only problem is that it’s only wavy underneath and it’s almost impossible to straighten all the way. Took me 40 minutes today and there’s still some wave! Arg! 😉
I’ve also struggled with my hair most of my life. My hair has multiple personality disorder-partly straight, wavy, and curly. Even my hair stylist is amused by how my hair is unwilling to conform. Recently I’ve learned to embrace my hair though (a good cut helps too!). Just wash and air dry-it’s oddly liberating!
HAHA! This is why I love your blog. It’s been a very challenging day and I just popped in and laughed out loud. Thank you for the crazy-hair-pic. 🙂
My biggest hair woe (aside from needing a root touch up every 4 weeks – see what you have to look forward to?) is that the top third doesn’t have the same curl as the bottom. The bottom does whatever it’s told and just forms spiral ringlets when left to its own devices. The top, however, tends to be flat, cowlicked and sometimes frizzy. It’s made worse by the fact that it’s fine. I’ve always been a little jealous of thicker haired gals like you. Yours might get puffy but you’ll never look like a drowned rat! 🙂
Hahaha, that picture just cracked me up!
I have naturally wavy/curly hair, and it’s also prone to frizzing. At the moment, my most difficult aspect of dealing with my hair is the fact that I don’t have air conditioning in my car, so when I arrive places, my previously straightened, smooth hair has turned into a windblown, wavy MESS! D: Ponytails are my new best friend!
That there isn’t a whole lot to deal with. My hair is so thin and fine that it always fall flat and looks so boring and lifeless. I don’t have a lot to work with, and giving my locks some decent volume is a real ordeal!
My hair is straight on the top layers and curly on the bottom layers 🙁 I just figured out that if I let it air dry and THEN flat iron only the bottom layers, it looks much better. For years, I would blow dry it, and then flat iron. Every time I did this, without fail, it would look like I had a haystack on my head! I also made the tragic mistake of dyeing my hair at 12 years old (without mom’s permission) and then KEPT dyeing it…hence he reason my hair looked like a haystack. I haven’t colored my hair in a year (I’m 27) and it’s starting to look much better now without all the dyeing and blow drying.
I use to think frizz was the biggest issue I had witt hair but now I would have to say its just finding the time to do anything with it now that I have a toddler. It’s still do important to look and feel great when you have kid’s but, wow, it’s so much more effort!
My hair is curly. I mean, we’re talking Annie status, and I’m a ginger. My mom had no idea what to do with it so I have a lot of pictures growing up that are cringe-worthy, but thankfully my cousin has the same hair type and showed me how to style it so that it doesn’t look like one big, wavy poof. It’s actually not so bad, it’s super dry and I’ve figured out how to condition it so that it’s not straw-like (took a long time), and I think I’ve tried a good 500 products to try to keep it from frizzing. Frizz is definitely my pain in the butt; when it’s humid my hair gets biiig, depending on the product I use. The other concern is my hair weighing down and looking wet, it just doesn’t look good at all with my round face. I straighten it once in a while, but it takes forever!
Just about everything….it’s thick and half straight, half wavy. It’s oily on top, but very very dry on the bottom half so finding the right products is always fun! Right now, it’s flat on the top and poufing out on the bottom. I have to use volumizing spray and serum. I always straighten it. I have cut some length off of it about 4 months ago and it’s a lot better than what it used to be. I have layers too, but they can only do so much.
Same boat as you: a head full of curly hair and a mom who had no idea how to handle it.
It also took me 20 years to get a place where I’m now constantly complimented on it and the actual envy of my friends (had they known me in my triangle hair days…)
My keys to success:
1. Cut. I found a hairdresser who cuts my hair to perfection, layers, etc. I literally wash and let it air dry and that’s it. Speaking of…
2. Washing less regularly. Probably twice a week.
3. Products. I’m not married to them, but I currently love the Aveda Curl line. The curl creme is fantastic, and I usually use it after Mixed Chicks leave-in.
LOVE MXED CHICKS LEAVE IT – IT TOTALLY RULES AND I completely understand the triangle hair statement!
Ugh, the dreaded triangle! I love the Aveda curl line, too. After trying what seems to be every curly hair product on the market, it really works wonders.
I have fine hair that tangles easily. I’m still searching for volume. The upsides are that at age 57 I have hardly any gray and my hair dries VERY quickly.
I have lots of hair, very thick and slightly wavy/ frizzy. It is growing now (currently shoulder-length), and since my stylist cut an undercut the rest of the hair is really manageable. Sometimes I use a straightening iron. I get it colored every 6-8 weeks.
I, too, am blessed with naturally curly hair…it’s fine and frizzy and definitely has a big, bold personality of its own in humid conditions…we used to fight a lot.
But, then I found a hairdresser who knew how to cut my hair to bring out the curl. Then I found Devacurl products. And then I stopped using shampoo. Now my hair is my friend most of time… and for bad days, there’s always ponytails…
My hair has been a constant source of angst for me since I was a child. That sounds very dramatic, but it is so true. I have a strange mix of curly curls in the under layer of my hair, waves on top of that, and a couple of straight pieces, especially at the roots. So I get it all…oily scalp, unruly waves, and a dry layer of curls underneath it all. I have a hard time finding hair products that smooth my frizz enough without weighing my hair down. I find no-pooing at times helpful, but other times, my scalp freaks out. I still have not found a way to wear my curls in a way that looks decent, but when I flat iron my hair I can make it look presentable.
Try an oil based shampoo if you can afford it. Crazy enough, it helps balance out all of the oils. I have an uber oily scalp that’s crazy, crazy sensitive. I use The Macadamia Oil Company deep mask when it’s doing the crazies and I find it tend to bring my scalp back to normal while moisturizing my ends. You might want to try the shampoo. It’s more expensive, but the company is great. I use a teeny, tiny bit of their healing therapy oil in my fine hair to protect it from pollution and prevent splits (not heal as you can never heal them, but prevent.)
Thank you!!! 🙂 I will give it a try!
oh, kare bear. we just chatted (typed?) about this a few days ago 🙂 i have stick straight hair. i don’t know what to do with it, but flat iron, blow dry, or whatever else requires little effort. i’ve tried a curling iron, but that takes forever, and the results don’t last. i’ve tried curling my hair with a flat iron, but i’m (most of the time) too lazy to prep and curl this mane. it has gotten down to the middle of my back, and with this desert oven heat, i don’t even want to abuse it with heating tools. so, it’s just wash and wear for me.
i did find the best hair stylist. she’s back near my hometown, so whenever i go home, i make an appointment with her. i haven’t cheated on her in 4 years, even though she gave me the green light. LoL. my cut is easy: light layers, maybe bangs if i’m feeling awesome. but….as for everything else, not much. a lady at ulta suggested that i find a great flat iron and hair mask to get more out of my curling efforts. but, i’m not used to using more than one product in my hair (makes my hair feel grimy), so we’ll see if i finally try her suggestions.
Lady, you have got to try pin curls. Changed. My. World.
Of course, I have to do a wet set (basically, my hair is damp while I’m rolling them) and I let them dry overnight, but seriously…if my super duper oily, stick straight fine hair can hold THOSE without styling products (okay, fine, they are super loose by the end of the day), yours can.
TRY THEM.
Pin curls are a PITA!! I tried them for a vintage hairstyle, not fun. You need the proper clips for it, because bobby pins don’t work too well :/ The curls became a bit poodle-y afterwards, if that makes sense.
I use bobby pins all of the time for mine. In fact, that’s all I use (never bothered me. Maybe I’m weird?) I don’t actually brush through mine, I just hand comb because I can’t be bothered.
They take me about half an hour, yea, but I would rather do that that sit with my flat iron and fry my hair for all that effort to go out the minute a Mudwestern wind blows through! Those winds be very strong!
Are you using the longer, stiffer bobby pins? I’m in the south, so curls have always been the thing (cause of the stereotypical Southern Belle thing) even though humidity can instantly kill them or turn giant ringlets into really wimpy waves. It’s pretty normal to do “ragging” for us: wrapping damp hair around strips of fabric, tied and left to dry. Instant giant poodle-curls that last through sweat, wind, heat. All without styling products (‘cept for hairspray, cause I have to straighten my bangs 🙂 )
My hair is somewhat thick, slightly wavy (but curly in the blonde flyaways around my face) reddish brown with blonde/gray/white streaks. It’s good hair, but I have cowlicks *everywhere*! There’s a very strong one at my forehead, another whopper on the left side of the crown and a ton in back. I spent years trying to get a “good” asymmetrical bob to finally have a stylist explain it never looked even because of the cowlicks making it bend in crazy directions in the back! I don’t have the patience to straighten it regularly (and dislike the potential damage it does) so now I’m growing it out so I can use the curl/cowlick waves to my advantage. 😀
I’m almost 49 years old, and have finally sort of made peace with my fine, wavy very dark brown hair.
The only real problem that I have with it right now is the fact that it’s very thin on top.
About two-thirds of it fell out when I had a major illness a few years back, and though most of it grew back, some just didn’t.
BUT it’s supple, glossy, and healthy, and I have almost no gray.
I’ve given up trying to get it to look “neat,” as in “straight,” because I just do not have straight hair. I encourage its wavy/curly tendencies by using a curl enhancer (Shikai makes a GREAT one), and using a diffuser when I blow dry. Now people say that my hair makes them “sick,” because it holds curl all day.
I have very fine and straight hair that always looks so flat! I’ve tried everything to add some volume, but nothing works for long.
oh honey i can commiserate with you completely
my hair is temperamental – when it rains or its humid i look like a sea sponge!! The only thing that has helped me embrace it is finding my stylist at bumble and bumble of which he better not fall off the face of the earth because if he does i may DIE without him ( I’ve made sure to follow him on every single social media venue he’s on – yes its that serious!!) I was traumatized as a child with the weekly sunday blow out which was conducted by my mom on our kitchen table which was then followed by a very tight pony tail and braided all the way through. the hair was so long and heavy it reached all the way down my back. Then i had the puffy mullet which sucked royally – until i took control of my own hair. I was always made fun of with my curly, coarse, frizzy, non shiny hair – i just reached a day where i felt like saying F it to the world – if you don’t like it then don’t look at me!!! lol my hair is who i am may it look good or bad. Sure i may be able to move forward in my career faster if i straightened it or smoothed it out a bit with some hot rollers but why should i – its well cut and cared for its speaks to who i am. I am the girl with the curly hair. Enough said – my credentials and personality should suffice for what it is i do. You have great hair karen! LOVE IT !
My hair is very thick, but with baby fine strands, and it has a natural wave. So it can be frizzy/dry at times, when it’s freshly washed it will not go in a braid, ponytail, or bun without gel/mousse, and it can be hard to wrangle into different hairstyles because of the thickness despite getting it thinned and layered. The plus side of it is that when it’s wet, it’s very redirectable, and I can french braid it or put it in a bun easily. Add a little gel/hairspray/mousse/leave-in (or all of the above) and it will stay put all day with no flyaways. The downside is that I now know what works with it and what doesn’t – while I could do short hair if I had to, my hair is so thick that it wouldn’t grow out a super short cut well, and it would be high maintenance for me to make it look good. It means I can’t experiment without being willing to commit to a lot of work with it for shorter hair. Long hair, about bra strap to waist length, seems to be the best length because it weighs itself down at that length but isn’t too long, and there are no short layers that won’t twist up in a bun or braid.
It’s fine, it’s straight….and it’s OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILY! I wash it every single day to keep that oil at bay. I guess the good point of it being that oily is that I have the shiniest hair in my entire Ulta. My stylist spots me by the shiny long brown hair.
I have problems with it being short as it turns into a hen’s nest. Long is better.
I agree with what Kate & Zena said about split ends – nothing can “heal” them, because the hair strand itself is dead.
That said, I *highly* recommend Shikai “Mist & Go” conditioner. It’s a spray-on, leave-in conditioner, so it’s super easy to use. For the first time in my adult life, I have NO split ends in my shoulder-length hair.
I’m rambling, I know, but I found out from horrible personal experience that the condition of your hair can be indicative of your general health. In the late ’90s, my usually oily hair turned dry, dull, and lifeless, and started looking like hay. I poured enough conditioner on it to sink a battleship, but it didn’t help. It turns out, I had a [benign] tumor on my right kidney, and it was wreaking all kinds of havoc on my health.
After the tumor was successfully removed, my hair and I recovered, and now look healthier than we have in many years.
All that to say: If your hair looks unhealthy, don’t assume that it’s only a cosmetic problem.
My issue is a simple but odd one. Whenever I shower, I let my hair air dry. Rarely do I use the blow dryer unless I have to get somewhere and damp hair won’t do or I’m getting ready to color my hair. When my hair air dries, it decides to get fluffy. Fluffy like a Persian cat! It doesn’t look as bad when I use a leave-in conditioner and it will still fluff up, not quite as badly though! Without something like the L’Oreal Total Repair 5 balm or any other “weighty” hair product, it really fluffs up. It only looks better the day after I shower 😛
Tangling! It doesn’t matter what I do… my hair is always tangled impossibly and I hate it because it takes a solid twenty minutes to comb it out when I get out of the shower and then another twenty after I’ve dried it. It makes my routine way longer and more painful that it needs to be!
Oh, that photo is so…familiar! I, too, have thick,curly hair that is often frizz prone in the heat or SF fog. After having it short for almost 30 years, I’ve grown it out and have had it long for several years. The two things that have made a difference are: 1) accept it for what it is and 2)a stylist who knows how to cut curly hair. The person who cuts my hair has very curly hair herself and does the Deva-type dry cut that has been the best thing to happen to my hair. I use Aveda curl cream, let it air dry and Deva mist for second (and third) day hair. I try to leave it alone as much as I can. No blow drying. I dye the gray, take a flax/primrose/black currant oil supplement to keep it moisturized. I try to love it every day.
My hair has a natural wave, but it’s not useful as in .. it’s not wavy enough to be curly and it’s too wavy to be straight!
Monica
MY hair is wavy in some areas, curly in others and I have enough hair for 3 heads! the toughest aspect is dealing with which way I want to go, curly? Wavy? Straight? I cannot figure it out most days… I have discovered that braids are my BFF though! 🙂
My natural hair is basically a fro (thanks Dad for the jew fro), so around eighth grade I got Yuko permanent straightening and have never looked back! Almost 10 years later and I’m just as in love with it as that first day!
The MOODY-ness! one day it’s fine, stay, and well managed plus normal oil in scalp. and one day it goes frizzy, curly,oily, and lion-ness! my type of hair is wavy and it’s (supposed to be) dry 🙁 so far my saviour product is Herbal Essence Hello Hydration. but can be a lil tricky when applying too much conditioner 🙂
I permed my very straight hair a few years back, and finally understood what you curly haired girls go through! I think curly hair is so beautiful but DARN it’s a lot of work!!
In a few words for my hair: flat, won’t hold a curl, oily roots/dry ends, hard to color, stray grays right near part & hairline
Now the essay:
I have slick straight hair. It used to be thick and heavy which was difficult to manage- my mom used to always tie it up/braid it. I didn’t know how to use hair tools for a long time, so therefore most of the time I left my hair down and it was always flipped out the wrong way. It’s gotten pretty thin since then, so now it’s just flat. I’ve always had oily roots but now I have dry ends! The good thing is I don’t have to blow dry my hair but I do for volume. It won’t hold a curl to save it’s life nor does it color easy as all. I’m actually getting a long bob next week because I think it’ll be easier and faster to manage than the long layers I’ve been rocking for 10 years!
COWLICKS AND BANGS. i have so many cowlicks in my hairline, and i have a huge forehead, so me going without bangs is sorta scary. wrangling my bangs is the bane of my hair existence.