We haven’t done a YOU MUST CHOOSE post in a hot minute! This is way overdue. 🙂
Sooo…what is YOU MUST CHOOSE?
It’s just a game I used to play with my BFF, Naaman, at work when we got really bored. You present two really messed-up scenarios and make your friend choose between the two, mwahahahahaha!
Yeah, it’s pretty dumb… But it’s so much fun!
Brace yourself now, because YOU MUST CHOOSE!! Just leave your answers in the comments.
Scenario #1
All of your teeth have to be filed down to razor-sharp fangs (they’d look exactly like the fangs the vamps had in 30 Days of Night) and stay that way for the rest of your life…
or
You have to marry Bret Michaels, who in this scenario is a polygamist and you’re wife number three of eight. You also have absolutely no chance of escape/divorce.
YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Scenario #2
You have to spend your entire wedding day with extra large, extra obnoxious rollers in your hair, so that when you walk down the aisle, smile and say, “I Do,” BAM! — you’re wearing those big-@ss rollers in all of the pics (and you can’t take them out or cover them with anything)…
or
You can spend the rest of your life with a thick carpet of wiry, plush hair on both of your butt cheeks. And it grows really fast (when you shave at night, it’s back in full force by the next morning).
YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Scenario #3
You have to get two permanent brow tattoos, where one side is thick like Groucho Marx’s, and the other is pencil thin…
or
You have to tattoo the names of all of your exes across your left boob in a list titled, “This is a list of all of my exes,” and it has to be written in 24-point Comic Sans.
YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Scenario #4
You have to give up living with/assisting pets for the rest of your life (that means no animals at all)…
or
You have to give up wearing makeup forever.
YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Seriously, that last one? Either choice would break my heart.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
P.S. 🙂 To play, just copy the list and paste it with your answers in the comments.
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third?
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks?
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob?
4. Give up pets or makeup forever?
Fun 🙂
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Vampire .
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Wedding day rollers.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? Exes.
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? Give up makeup.
1. Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third
2. Wedding day rollers
3. Exes on boob
4. Give up makeup
😐 😐 😐
Karen, I am dying laughing! I just read all of these out loud to my husband and he helped me choose 😉 Vampire teeth, big rollers, the tattoo, and then we were divided on the pets/makeup! I would give up makeup, but he said I should give up pets! (Probably because we caught our sweet pup eating a piece of lumber yesterday which he conveniently threw back up on our kitchen floor this morning. OH the life of a dog.) Thanks for a great laugh!!
Here are my answers! I would be messed up if I didn’t join in. 😀
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Ugh. Hate to say this because I’ve got a thing about teeth, but I’d have to go for vampire teeth.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Gimme those rollers.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? I can’t deal with Comic Sans, so, the brow tattoos.
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? WAH! I’d give up makeup, even though it would break my heart into a million little pieces.
1. Mrs. Bret Michaels 🙂
2. OMG…Rollers, I pick rollers over a hairy A@@
3. I’d tat everyone’s name….lol..no Groucho here!
4. Could never live without a pet, so…I’d give up makeup. 🙁
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third?
Well, since we’re talking polygamy here, I think that if I can let someone else handle the “wifely duties” (because, ewww…), then there might be some financial advantages to becoming Mrs. Bret Michaels.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks?
Rollers, for sure.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob?
It would probably take less effort to cover up the boob tattoo than to straighten out the more visible brow situation every day, so I’ll take the boob tattoo.
4. Give up pets or makeup forever?
HOW CRUEL CAN YOU BE, KAREN???????? I would, heartbreakingly so, have to give up the makeup.
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Mrs. Bret Michaels III.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Wedding day rollers, fer sure. Then I’d start planning the renewing-the-vows ceremony sans rollers!
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? This is tough! I don’t have big enough boobs for all me exes, but I crave even brows. I’d have to go with the exes on my boob, though.
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? I love my Jack and Daisy, but probably I’d give up pets. But only AFTER my wonderful time with Jack and Daisy is over.
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. Bret Michaels. No brainer, as I don’t think polygamy sounds all that bad, really, and I kinda like Bret Michaels (don’t judge me !)
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Rollers, definitely. I’m gonna put some in right now, in fact, to ward off any excessive growth tonight.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? HA ! I couldn’t fit all my exes on TEN of my boobs ! Do I still have a choice here ? I’ll pick brows over boobs – everyone sees my brows, my boobs – not so much…
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? Bye-bye, makeup. Though I do reserve the right to use Urban Decay Perversion Glide-On eyeliner on my precious doggie when I want a little nighttime glam in my life – a girl has needs, you know…
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Mrs. Michaels it is! You never said I have to be faithful. I’ll take on cooking duties and let the other wives deal with the bedroom stuff.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Rollers all the way. Those come out. Never ending butt hair…who would even marry into that? That’s love right there.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? Ugh. Boob tattoo. Brow tattoos and pencil thin brows give me the heeby jeebies. *shudders*
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? Good Lord, woman! Are you trying to kill me? I’ll go makeup free before I’ll give up my kitty cat. You’d just better not try any funny business with my skincare or clothing.
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Vampire teeth for sure!
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Ahah wedding day, hairy butt cheeks are so not my thing.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? I would say the eye brows except one being huge.. so I guess my ex’s on my boob. I only have one anyways aha.
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? Oh wow.. that’s heart breaking ahah! Wow.. I guess.. Pets. Because I only kind of have some so it would suck but not be much different from now!
My boob is too small to fit 24pt font, lol!
Scenario #1: razor-sharp fangs, I don’t like sexually transmitted disease, no!
Scenario #2: I’ll go with a hairy butt, laser hair removal cost are coming down!
Scenario #3: how many exes? I have no memory… one or two
Scenario #4: … I guess I could save money not buying any makeup
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Vampire teeth.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Wedding day rollers. It’s just a wedding, right?
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? Exes on my boob. 24-point would be rough, but my list is, so far, only one person long… At least you don’t cover it up.
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? I don’t have any pets. so they would be easy to give up.
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third?
Vampire teeth, fo sho.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks?
Wedding day rollers, definitely. That day would’ve been awesome no matter what 🙂
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob?
exes on the boob. Which would get me off easy, I guess, since I never really dated anyone besides my hubby.
4. Give up pets or makeup forever?
aw man… …I mean… really, this is the hardest one! I think I’d give up makeup over pets. I don’t have any at the moment, but I love my parents’ dog and I really want a kitty in the future!
THIS IS TERRIBLE but super fun, so I’m in! 😀
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? – Mrs. Bret Michaels all the way!
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? – Wedding day rollers! Could be funny someday!
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? – This was the 2nd-hardest one. I’d say different brow tattoos. Maybe it could be a super-artistic statement look.. haha!
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? – HARDEST QUESTION EVER. I was literally 50/50 on it… I think give up makeup. I really want horses someday, and it wouldn’t be so bad embracing a life of au naturale.. I’d just have to dress super swanky to make up for it!
Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third?
That is Mrs. Brett Michaels III, thank you very much.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks?
Rollers for sure but the visual of the butt cheeks made me laugh ha!
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob?
Exes on Boobs. that could at least be covered up (I guess the brows could be too with enough makeup but….
4. Give up pets or makeup forever?
Make up free here. I have never not had a pet. I can’t even imagine.
When did you become so evil?? HAHA! These choices are actually all better than the very disgusting options we’ve played with. 🙂
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Vampire Teeth, but I would really hate it.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Rollers.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? I suppose Exes, though I don’t think my boob is big enough. 😉
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? Sorry, makeup, you’re outta here.
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Can I choose both? Then I’ll bite Mr. Michaels where it hurts. Hahaha.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Lol. I guess no one can see my butt cheeks.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? Exes on boob.
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? 🙁 I’ll choose pets. I can still use skin care products, right?
1. Vampire fangs.
2. Wedding day rollers. It’s only one day and I could have a re-marriage ceremony later.
3. Boob tattoo. I’ve never formally dated anyone, so depending on interpretation, it could be a non-tattoo.
4. I’d go against the grain and say give up pets. After losing my last bird recently, I don’t think I could go through with losing another pet again. Sorry to be a downer.
1. Vampire teeth!
2. I guess I’ll take the rollers, the idea of a carpeted butt doesn’t sound comfortable…
3. I only have one ex, I can deal with hiding his name under the boob crease.
4. I guess I have to give up makeup! Love having pets! This is a mean decision to make us make though!
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third?
Uh, I’d actually kinda enjoy the teeth. And, well, there are ways around sexytime issues. Yay, flexible silicone!
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks?
You know, I’m torn. While I’m sure my GF would be horrified at the rollers, I think White Trash Weddings are hilarious and would gladly have one. OTOH, hairy butt cheeks would lead to so much more hilarity over a longer period of time. My inner resident of Erebor, however, says we must go with the hairy ass of DOOM.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob?
Oh, the tattoo. Definitely the tattoo. I’d pack that list as thick as I could. Your Mom, Your Grandma, Sister Theresa, Thorin’s Company, Barack and Michelle….
4. Give up pets or makeup forever?
Makeup. No question. Nothing gets between me and my kitties (as my ex knows – he’s trying to get them back, but doesn’t have the balls to go to court because he knows how neglected and seriously ill they were when I took them away from him).
My brother asks these kinds of questions all the time, so one year I got him a book called “Would You Rather?” My favorite question from the book: Would you rather fight Mike Tyson or talk like him?
1. Bret Michaels wifey! I’ve been dealing with my wisdom teeth all year. I can deal with a mullet but I can’t with folks in my mouth lolol
2. Rollers!!! No competition
3. This was so tough! No more makeup. I’ll cry over my bald brows and short lashes while cuddled up with my pup lol
1. Vampire teeth or Mrs. Bret Michaels the Third? Vampire teeth.
2. Wedding day rollers or hairy butt cheeks? Wedding Day rollers.
3. Two different brow tattoos or your exes on your boob? Exes on my boob.
4. Give up pets or makeup forever? Give up makeup forever.