I got my hair done last Sunday by my friend Alis, and we chatted about all kinds of interesting things, like “gifts from the universe,” while she did my roots and touched up my highlights.
You know how the universe sometimes floats these beautiful and unexpected gifts your way? — whether they be deeply discounted couches from Pottery Barn or random advice from strangers? Well, I recently got a gem of parenting advice from the guy who delivered our new washer last week.
I wish I knew his name… I don’t think he introduced himself.
Anyway, let’s call him Elvis, because he kind of looked like an Elvis.
Elvis was super nice, and I knew he’d be cool when Connor called out a sing-songy “Hiiiii!” when he first walked through the door, because Elvis said, “Hiiiiiii!” right back. And then he continued to answer “hi” every time Connor said it, which must’ve happened about 20 more times during the half hour Elvis was here.
While Elvis was setting up the washer, we made small talk. He asked how many kids I have, and I answered, “Two, if you count my cat.” 🙂 HAHA! You know Tabs totally counts. He’ll be Connor’s kuya, which is the word for “older brother” in Tagalog, always and forever.
I asked Elvis how many kids he has, and he said eight. EIGHT! (My response: “DUDE! You’ve been busy!”). His youngest kids are nine-year-old twins, and his oldest is 25.
I like to ask people with kids, “What’s the secret?” But before I could ask Elvis, he said, “Can I offer some advice?”
I enthusiastically nodded.
“You wanna know what the most important thing I’ve learned after raising eight kids is?”
Um, of course I said yes. How could I not?
His answer: to appreciate the things that your kids can’t do yet. Like, when your daughter is a toddler and can’t talk (much) yet, save all the nonsense babbling, which is cute but frustrating at the same time because you can’t tell what she wants or needs, and you kind of wish that she could talk because it would make everything easier, but being able to fully converse is also a double-edged sword, because it also leads to kids talking back.
Elvis said that you have to try your hardest to cherish those “can’t” phases, because they’re temporary, and you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past few days. I wish I could hit the rewind button and relive so many Connor phases, like before she could turn over or crawl or walk… I realized then that kids grew up quickly, because people talk about it all the time, but I never realized just how quickly. It’s bittersweet.
Like, I remember sitting on the couch in tears while trying to breastfeed when she was two months old. My nipples felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to them, and I hadn’t slept in days. I remember thinking, “I can’t wait for the day when she can feed herself because I’m sick of being her human cow!”
To be honest, I don’t miss breastfeeding at all (but that’s another story for another time), but I wish I could relive some of those “can’t” phases when she was so tiny and small and couldn’t wriggle out of my arms like she does now. Now that she’s always moving, moving, moving, I’m lucky if I get to hug her for a minute.
It’s another way of saying that you gotta cherish the present. Recognize when times are good, and appreciate what’s happening now.
Thanks, washer deliver guy! — a.k.a. Elvis with the eight kids. 🙂
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
Even though I don’t have any children, this really resonated with me. Blame me getting my period today, but thanks, Elvis! And thanks, Karen, for sharing these parts of day/life with us!
Hear hear, you rock, Karen!!
Of course the thing that I noticed about this post is that you got almost the same washer that we got when ours needed to be replaced. We have the one step up higher model, I think, because it had a couple more settings. The washer has performed as well as can be expected, just make sure you close the detergent drawer really well when you use it ? (sorry, unsolicited advice). I hope you didn’t get the matching dryer coz I don’t like the dryer much. I prefer our old Whirlpool. Anyway, congrats on the new washer! (Comment felt like it needed an ending ?)
Um, I know this is not the point of your post, but my family jokes how my “kuya” is my mom’s dog, Goliath! ??
Very good advice, Elvis! Maybe you need eight kids to finally realize that, but despite knowing how fast these times would pass, I still didn´t cherish them with my son either.
Now I miss them in both my kids…
so true, I remember back when my kids were little, and people (my age now ) would say enjoy them the time goes by so fast. I really didn’t get it then.
Now I do they are 23/29 and you look back and where did it go
Love this post!! I have 3. My oldest is a senior, my middle a sophomore and my baby is in 7th. I feel like I blinked and suddenly they were grown, doing their own thing. You learn to cherish the little phases, even terrible 2’s, but look forward to the new phases as they grow.
Yeah, they grow up fast, but I still love adult version of my child best. The best advice I got was “chose your battles wisely”. It made me realize not everything is worth arguing over with your child and to concentrate on building the character you want in your child.
Ohh, new washer! I’m gonna need one soon, since our top loader is on it’s last legs and getting more expensive to repair every time. What make and model is that? You’ll have to let us know how you like it.
That is great advise for sure! Knowing that my youngest is my last has really made me commit so much more to memory. Even with my two older ones, I’m more cognizant of how quickly the phase they’re in now will transition into another. So I try to embrace the challenges instead of getting worked up because I’m going to blink and my eldest (he’s currently 10) will be going off to college. Love getting new appliances! The washer looks great. Our top loader is still kicking so it’ll be a little longer until I can replace ours.
We just got the same washer! I love it! Anyhoo, I have an 18 year old and a 6 year old and I agree wholeheartedly with what he said. I’m always hugging the little one wishing he was still a baby or toddler because he was so snuggly. I look at my 18 year old and wonder where all the time went. One day he was 9, the next graduating from high school. We should just cherish every moment. They pass by so quickly.
That’s great advice, thanks for sharing! On a related note, I love my husband’s perspective on “can’t” – he works for the company that makes the Jitterbug and other senior-oriented technology items, so working in customer service he would talk to seniors every day who say something like “I just can’t get a grasp on this thing”. His response is unfailingly “And once you couldn’t tie your shoes by yourself, but you learned how, and you can learn this too”. Everyone is at a difference stage of learning, and sometimes we easily forget that. 🙂
Good advice! Which you will never take to heart with your first until it’s much too late. Just the way of it. With my second babe now, I cherish all that stuff. She still doesn’t talk at 17 months. Meh, whatever. I love her babble.