It has been four months since the last time I dyed my hair, and I believe that I’ve reached the point when almost everyone who grows out their grays says that they want to attack something. Or someone. In other words, the point when it gets really hard.
Last week I came *this* close to booking a last-minute color appointment. Multiple times.
The biggest challenge has been figuring out what to do about my hairline, because I have a lot of gray there, and the hairs are ever-so-slightly coarser, and therefore more unruly, than the darker hairs.
Back when I was dying my hair and would find an errant gray shooting for the stars and striking out on its own, I’d just pluck it…but now I’m like, “What’s the point? It’s just gonna grow back anyway.”
Now, though, those errant hairs are also FOUR INCHES LONG. Honestly, it’s just so comical. I spend half the time laughing at myself and the other half wrangling the grays into place (a.k.a. getting my hair to look like I’m not being electrocuted). I wonder if I’m ever gonna feel good about my hair again…
Oh, and last night I barely averted hair disaster after watching a couple YouTube tutorials on how to cut your own bangs. I was standing in my bathroom with the scissors against my bangs, all set to CHOP-CHOP-CHOP. It was all happening in slow motion, too. Thankfully, I had just enough sense left to stop before it was too late. Slowly, I set down the scissors and backed away from the mirror.
MAH HAIR. IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY.
On the bright side, I really like not having to dye my hair anymore. That part is liberating, but the growing out part is mostly just a pain in the @ass.
Here’s something weird: Depending on which way I part the front of my hair, I either see a ton of gray or very little. Like, if I pull my hair back into a ponytail, I can really see the salt and pepper coming through. Same if I do a deep side part. But if I part my hair down the middle, or just slightly off center, I barely see any.
Lighting also makes a big difference. In some pics I take with a flash, I can barely see any gray, but pics in full sunlight? HELLO, GRAY HAIR.
Wide fabric headbands that come in different patterns and colors have been helpful. When I just can’t deal anymore, I’ll put my hair in a ponytail, and put on a headband and some hoop earrings.
Also, I have yet to figure out what to do with my hair when I want to dress up a little. I’m going with El Hub to a work party tomorrow, and I think the headband/hoops combo will be a little too casual, so I might do a big messy chunky braid? Or perhaps put on a jaunty cap…?
Hey, it works for Tabs.
Sigh! Well, I’m already four months in. Now can I make it to six? Time will tell… I want to make it to at least six months.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
I think it’ll look so great once you grow it all out. Stick with it! I vote for chunky braid. If I had as much hair as you I think I’d always be doing braids and making people look at how thick my hair was!
Thanks, Jade. I’m leaning toward the chunky braid. 🙂
Love the cap at the rakish angle on Tabs, and it would probably look good on you as well!
For the pah-tay, how about a nice middle part and curl with flat iron? I would think the heat would tame the white electric wires (Ah got ’em, too!!).
So far, mine are all hiding underneath (“What We Do In the Shadows” much?? *GREAT* movie, btw!) and most congregate where I would have grown horns. If I grew horns. Well, I guess they’re white, electrical wire horns.
Your hair looks terrific, btw, and it looks terrific on you. Have you checked out Salma Hayek’s character’s hair in “The Hummingbird Project”? Such a stunning [wig] white hair do!
The craziest ones are the tiny stubs all up on my hair line. They looooove sticking out at all the weird angles!
I’m off to google Salma. 🙂
Karen, your hair looks great. You can do it. Hang in there.
Thank you, Jan!
Karen
Hair looks great-I’d even say ADD some gray/platinum strategically to help the transition phase -and rock it ?
Hi Brandee,
Thank you! I might have to do something like that eventually, just to get through the growing out process (even though it’s a pain to lift very dark hair).
Hope you’re having a great week so far.
Rooting for you! 😀
LOL, thanks Phoebe!
I am growing out my grays too, but they aren’t really visible against my blonde in terms of color. But they are so unruly and coarse, they give me a real halo effect.
That sounds cool.
I think this is becoming more and more normal among women. I know myself and a few of my collegues/friends have decided to not colour hair. It is time consuming, extremely expensive and never ending! And there is nothing worse than seeing an old lady with 3 inch roots trying to grow out her hair finally at 80!
I have accepted my grays and also like the peek of color in my naturally dark hair. I had the poker straight grays that would stick up off my head. The way my grays have grown in have been in concentrated areas – at my temples primarily – so it came in looking like Rogue LOL. Lots of people asked if I was coloring my hair on purpose like that, or getting compliments on my hair. I have lots more gray underneath, so when my h air was long enough to put in a ponytail, you could REALLY see them LOL but hair down and no one would notice aside from my Rogue streaks. I am cheap and couldn’t stomach coloring my hair because it grows so fast. It might be a painful adjustment now, but embrace those grays! You’ve earned each and every one!
You know what’s great about your grow out? There’s no line of demarcation from dyed to natural hair. That’s a win! Hang in there!
Karen I admire you so much girl! I have the same rampant hair line wirey grey hairs and I just can’t. The greys just harshen up my face to ME and so I go for a Clairol root touch up in dark brown
Do the pro’s outweigh the cons? Is coloring the greys something you feel guilty about?
You the realest!
DdR
Hi Karen! I love reading your posts about growing out your grays, it is so empowering
to see a beauty blogger going natural and proving that you can look pretty and polished while wearing your natural hair. I am in my mid 30´s and decided not to color mine and every girl around asks me if I am not afraid of looking old, but I just can´t stand weekly appointments to retouch my roots because my hair is really dark and grows so fast! Hang in there girl, you look great!
Hey Karen,
Love that you’re using your platform to document this but at the end of the day, do what makes YOU feel good, and do what makes you happy. This isn’t for anyone but YOU so if you wanna dye it, dye it. If you want to continue growing them out, do it, but just make sure you’re doing what you want and you’ll be happy with it! Also, if you end up dyeing it, guess what: the grays will grow back if you change your mind.
I went through this process after going natural and then relaxing my hair after two years. In the end, I relaxed because I kept thinking about it and wanting to do it and said, I could always start over if I regretted it (but I knew it wouldn’t). All that to say do you, boo. I’m gonna love ya either way! <3
Karen your hair looks great !
I will color mine because they call me Nana Blackhead
She had whites on her hairline
Milano Brown Madison Reed
I hope you don’t feel like you failed if you decide to dye again. If you do decide to go back to dying it, that’s fine. Do what’s best for your mental health. Secondly, I think your hair actually looks beautiful. There is something about natural hair that’s just…magical. You wear it well.
Well, I’m sure you know that I’m very pro gray hair, but for the record I think yours looks awesome!
And mine is the same – depending on the part, and the lighting, it can look more silver, or more blonde.
From memory, when mine reached about the length yours is now, I got it cut into a bob, and just kept trimming it until all the coloured hair was gone, then let it grow out – but that’s not for everyone. Everyone’s journey is different.
Like, I would kill for really long, strong hair like yours, but instead I have naturally curly fairy floss type hair (fairy floss is what we call cotton candy in Australia) ?
So rock that chunky braid and enjoy your hair journey!
I think it looks great. I like to call my grays hair glitter or hair tinsel.. plus some woman pay to have their hair colored gray and you’re doing au natural for free! That’s a win right there. Heh. Mine are concentrated around my temple and are easier to see when my hair is pulled back and a few peppered throughout the top. I also have more on one side than the other. Hmph. I have dark brown hair so they’re like fun little highlights. I’m 32 and my gray hair looks very similar to yours lol, plus mine started coming in at 25!
Like others have said do you boo. I think you look fab AF and if you stick with it You can always have it colored to help you transition more too. And you would slay that look just like you do any other!
And for your shindig with the hubs I vote the braid or some big loose curls/waves
4 months already? Amazing! You’re almost there Karen, hang in there. Then you can fully see if it is for you or not. It’s all good, either way You honestly can rock either. Whatever makes you feel confident and beautiful, that’s most important. I just tried Color Wow dream coat on my dark chocolate brown coarse and wavy hair (have some greys in between salon) and omg smooths it out so great for a few days. For the party I vote on big loose waves (maybe a pretty sparkly clip at sides) with a heat smoothing shine spray for your pretty glitter strands ☺
You look strong, beautiful, and unique with the silver coming in. When I was in my 40’s and growing in my grays, I would turn for support to a stylish, elegant gray-haired woman I admired at work. “Just do it,” she said. Twenty years later, I’ve never regretted it. People stop me frequently; recently one woman took a picture of me. You have quite a support system here. Also, check out the silver-haired women on Instagram for encouragement.
I think it looks great, too. It’s “salt-and-pepper” with the scattered grays among the darks, and it looks terrific. Mine looked like that when I first grew it out years ago and I loved it and got lots of compliments on the color by people who I guess thought it was something I had control over or had done on purpose. Now it’s turned more white in front, which I also like. I’m glad I finally stopped dealing with the tyranny of thinking i had to have it colored.
I think your greys look amazing! Especially against the dark hair. I had a dietician with salt and pepper hair like that and it was so beautiful.
Redheads lose their pigment differently and I don’t know how I’ll deal since it’s such apart of me. We go beigey and then white.
Karen I think it looks amazing – a little salt and pepper with no line of demarcation from the old color! That’s the best result you can hope for. I find a little hairspray patted on the flyaway hairs helps. Hang in there! You’ve broken the dye cycle successfully, so before you give in, try to remember all the reasons you wanted to stop in the first place. That’s what helped me.
I use a not oily balm from lush to discipline those baby hairs. It is a honey balm for hair. Check it out! Xx
Have you checked out grombre on Instagram? Lots of grey/silver inspo.
Hey Karen!! Your hair is beautiful no matter what color it is…..but…I think you are really struggling with what it’s doing to you emotionally! If it’s so painful…Color it again, Maybe try the at home color to save money. I’d lose my mind if I didn’t dye my hair. I’ve been rolling blonde highlights since I was old enough to buy my first bottle of Sun In!! Ohh those were the days!! Regardless of what you choose to do, good luck!