Because of acne I’ve…
- Invested a small fortune in the magic that is Kate Somerville Anti-Bac Clearing Lotion (I will certifiably lose my sh*t if this is ever discontinued).
- Gotten a cortisone shot in a massive pimple on my chin 24 hours before leaving for Toronto for the MAC Bloggers’ Obsession Collection collaboration.
- Gone to bed with thick dots of stinky white benzoyl peroxide cream on my face.
- Forgotten about said benzoyl peroxide dots and answered the front door, half asleep in all my dried white goo glory.
- Changed the part in my hair in an attempt to strategically hide behind it like a curtain (although, let’s get real, I wasn’t fooling anybody).
- Woke up in the middle of the night to go look in the mirror and contemplate whether to pop THOSE PIMPLES.
- Popped a zit (or two or three) during the witching hour.
- Interviewed every Sephora associate in the skin care section to find out the things that people with acne buy often (this is how I found AmorePacific Treatment Enzyme Peel Cleansing Powder, which worked great for me when my chin acne was at its worst).
- Felt like cattle in a dermatologist’s office. I can’t tell you how many times I felt like my concerns were dismissed by doctors.
- Bought things I didn’t need because my pimples made me feel bad about myself. ?
- Had such an intense allergic reaction to prescription acne medication that my eyes became swollen shut.
- Cancelled a date.
- Endured emotional anguish caused by hurtful comments — but the worst ones weren’t from strangers; the worst ones were always from friends and family.
- Bought ProActiv from a kiosk in the middle of the mall (I was a fan of the cream and toner for a while). The kiosk had a picture of Adam Levine on the side, and I came *this close* to taking out a pen and drawing a mustache on him a few times, ha ha!
- Filled up an entire drawer with concealers and setting powders in order to find the holy grail combo of cover-up.
- Experienced my self-esteem lowering.
- Learned how to be more patient with myself.
- Figured out creative workarounds to relieve the temptation to pop pimples (side note: bribing yourself totally works).
- Never gone to sleep without taking off my makeup and washing my face.
- Defaced bathroom stall walls with notes for other women, including the following: “You are so much more than what you see in the mirror.”
- Become cautious about putting new skin care products all over my face… Patch tests all the way.
- Learned to cherish the days/periods of life when my skin is clear.
- Learned to have more empathy for myself and for others.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
This post is everything: sad, relatable, and inspirational. Well said, Karen. Thank you!
Hilarious and heart wrenching. I am horribly self conscious about my acne scars. I have “wow I am gorgeous” moments mixed with “ugh all they see is I had bad acne”. And I always have one pop before an important event. Ugh.
I don’t know what to say, other than I’ve been there too, right along with you. ?
I hear you and am so glad that we have access to so many products these days. When I was young, there were like two choices of acne products (that both dried my face into the Sahara without really helping my acne). And no one in our rural area went to a dermatologist unless they had really severe, cystic acne. I’m still a terrible popper – it’s a habit I absolutely can’t break. Thankfully, these days, my pimples are very few and far between. Or maybe they’re hiding in the wrinkles. HAHA! My boys drive me insane because I’ll get them whatever they need to have perfectly clear skin. I just can’t get them to bother to use it. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve said “PLEASE just wash your face twice a day and use this lotion”. Meh, it’s not worth the effort. I guess in a way it’s good that they’re not obsessed like I was/am.
I’ve found two things that are indispensable in dealing with pimples. I tend to get hormonal acne and often just one big honker. I love the COSRX pimple patches (other brands make them too). They suck the gunk right out of the pimple overnight! I also use a pink powder liquid. Etude House makes a good one and Mario Badescu calls theirs “drying lotion” These two things keep things under control. 🙂
So I decided to get 2 products you mentioned- the Amorepacific Enzyme and Kate Anti-Bac. Some really bad news- the Kate Anti-Bac is discontinued and sold out everywhere I trust to to buy it. Very sad. Hopefully she is just slightly reformulating or changing packaging. And about feeling like cattle at a Derm office? Omg I thought it was just me. I’ve finally found a Derm now who will actually do a mole check and doesn’t push lasers and Botox or try to run you out as quickly as possible to get to next patient. But it took a while to find her and I’m really sad at how the other Derms I saw acted like pimps for expensive procedures, which I would’ve been interested in if they hadn’t been so overzealous and could’ve cared less about anything else I was concerned about. I’ve also learned that a lot of Derms know less about a lot ingredients than me- which is not saying much at all! But they were all for any procedure that was expensive regardless if I truly needed or asked about it. I really love reading your blog and your cat Sundays make me laugh out loud. I hope one day you find another cat to bring home. It will be a very lucky cat and will surely become just as famous as Tabs with your audience. I am a dog trainer and just had to put one of my many dogs- a 14 yo Lab- to sleep. It never gets easier even if it’s the right thing to do. I’m really sorry for your loss, nothing I can say will make it any easier, except you are not alone and by being very public about your loss and pain has probably helped many others out there who’ve gone thru or are going thru the same thing not feel so alone out there. You are awesome and a bright spot in my day online!
All of the above, yes! And lastly: Got into beauty and skin care to finally find something that would help.