I put on some make up yesterday, and to be honest…I didn’t feel super great about it.
For one, I am deeply out of practice, and blending is a perishable skill, let me tell ya. So, my blending skills aren’t as “keen” as they once were. Two, I wore much less makeup than I normally wear when I plan to take pics of it with a DSLR camera, photography lights, off-camera flash and the other photography doo-dads, and makeup intended to be photographed is a whole different beast than makeup for everyday real life. Mainly, the lighting is different, and mobile phone cameras incorporate a bunch of fancy AI to compensate for the smaller optical sensors. Long story short, things don’t always translate the same in pics.
ALSO, lately, all I’ve wanted to wear are “real life looks.” This is my face, this is who I am and, quite frankly, I’m rarely in the mood to go through the 2,341 steps I used to do when I put on a full face for pics.
Thing is, though, when I look at these pics, I’m having a hard time focusing on the good stuff. I keep comparing myself to the Karen from years ago, a girl who was photo-ready all the time… Heck, I’d contour just to take walk around the neighborhood and pet the cats, LOL!
I see these pics of myself now and think, “Oh, boy. I probably should’ve used a color corrector to hide that dark spot in my inner corner more thoroughly, and I should also cover that dark patch above my upper lip with concealer, and why didn’t I do something about that heavy lid?!” I should’ve done this, I should’ve done that, yadda-yadda-yadda.
I hear all of these things in my head, but I realize that most people who see these pics aren’t going to perceive all of these things as “faults.” They’ll probably just see pictures of a smiling mid-40s stranger wearing bright lipstick.
If I were my daughter and was picking apart pictures of herself, I’d be heartbroken to hear her criticize herself so intensely. 🙁 I’d tell her that I can only see the happy look in her eyes and that I’m impressed by how beautifully and naturally she blended her blush. I’d tell her that I love the joy in her smile.
I don’t know where this propensity to constantly critique myself comes from, but I also know that we are our own worst critics. I know logically that most of the things I perceive as faults are issues that are simply not there, or things that people don’t notice at all…but that doesn’t stop me from seeing them!
I’m working on it, though. I’m working really, really hard on loving myself more, both inside and out, and that’s why I’m saying to the universe (or really anyone who’ll listen), f*ck the idea of imperfections. I don’t want to live feeling like I need to correct things that are “wrong” with my face anymore. I’m soooooooo done.
So, here’s a gentle reminder for me (and for you just in case you need it), that what you may perceive as faults aren’t as bad as you think they are.
I think you look pretty freakin’ fabulous, OK? So here’s to us — as I raise my cup of Earl Grey tea with a splash of creamer! Here’s to our sparkling eyes, our joyful smiles and our beauty, both inside and out.
I hope you have a wonderful Friday. 🙂
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
P.S. TGIF!
You still look great!
Thank you, Jane, and happy Friday!
You have a radiant smile and sparkling eyes. And even without makeup you are still pretty. But more importantly, you are a witty, creative writer and that reveals just how intelligent you are. The photos of Tabs on Sundays reveal your creativity. And there have been so, so, so many times I have laughed out loud from your writings. You are also a very loving, caring and nurturing parent. You have so many wonderful qualities that are more important than whether or not you look tired on any given day.
We readers love to come here to see the makeup looks, but we stay for your voice and your warmth. Hugs.
Hugs right back at you. Thank you always for your kindness. Wish we could be neighbors IRL!
As you already pointed out, it’s quite different to hear something from someone else than it is to think it yourself. However, I just wanted to say how often I find myself admiring how absolutely lovely you look in your photos. You are always so glowing, even when you aren’t wearing many products! I am pretty much incapable of wearing anything but a full face and, if I don’t have the time to do that, then I go barefaced. It’s something I’ve been wanting to change since I know there must be some middle ground I’d be happy with, and you are a continuous source of inspiration to me in that regard, as you manage to look so lovely with less. <3
Thank you, Heather. I think you’ll find that middle ground eventually. Happy Friday to you!
I concur with the other comments. I may have come here originally for the makeup, but stayed because of your great writing, witty banter, and creativity. You have built such a great community with your blog, and I love coming here every day to see what you are up to and read all the comments. Let’s face it, as we get older, less is more, and I think that is a good thing. We can spend less time and money on a million products and layering them on our faces and more time on other stuff that makes us happy ( not that playing with makeup doesn’t make us happy, of course) I think the pandemic taught us all to value the things that really work for us, and discard all the rest. Sounds like this revelation came at the perfect time for you, since you are going through the “great makeup purge”! I think you are beautiful no matter what!
You’re very kind, Daphne. Thank you!
Remember what Keri Blair from MAC says: #perfectionisoverrated
You are beautiful in every way and I feel the “flaws” are what make me, me-I earned every line, circle, scar and silver hair!
I love Keri Blair! You’re so right — we’ve earned all these things through experience and living life. 🙂
Hope you’re having a wonderful Friday!
I definitely needed that right now – just recorded a video for YouTube due to a deadline after a long day at work and even though I quickly touched up my makeup beforehand, the camera was not forgiving…
East Coaster here. I also became a reader because of your makeup reviews, but was enchanted by Tabs and have truly enjoyed reading about your adventures and of course Coy Wolf ?. I think it’s the rare woman in our society that doesn’t feel some level of insecurity with how they look. When I look at your images, I see a lovely, confident woman, who is a terrific writer and likes some of the same colors that I do! And I get to vicariously enjoy your part of the West coast and beyond , so thank you!
I’m going to chime in here and say, Karen, every time I see your pictures I think “she is so naturally beautiful, has such a lovely expression and looks perfect.” You really do!!
Hi Karen,
You are a beautiful woman inside and out and isn’t that what we were all taught strive for when we were younger. Your inner beauty and light shines the brightest when, with posts like today’s, you are kind to yourself and remind us to do the same for ourselves. Your remind us that bring us is special and worth celebrating. And I thank you for these important lessons so that we can work on internalizing these and in turn passing these on to our daughters (and sons) and other young people in our lives. Thank you so very much. Have a fabulous and hopefully sunny fun weekend.
Hi Karen,
You are a beautiful woman inside and out and isn’t that what we were all taught strive for when we were younger. Your inner beauty and light shines the brightest when, with posts like today’s, you are kind to yourself and remind us to do the same for ourselves. Your remind us that bring us is special and worth celebrating. And I thank you for these important lessons so that we can work on internalizing these and in turn passing these on to our daughters (and sons) and other young people in our lives. Thank you!
Such a powerful post, Karen, and not least because it was written by a writer/blogger/fashionista/mom/beauty lover/cat lady I’ve been reading and respecting for years! You are so lovely, you always create such gorgeous, cohesive beauty looks, and MBB feeds my brain and my makeup-lovin’ heart. Go you! <3
I love the title and message behind this. And honestly, you always look gorgeous! Luv ya, and have a wonderful weekend.
You’re right— those “flaws” are things only you see. I saw the picture, and my first thought was that I liked the lipstick. Even after you pointed things out, I couldn’t really tell what you were talking about. We all do this. I struggle with weight issues, and when getting dressed, I pick myself apart in the mirror and usually have to tell myself that other people don’t even see those problems. Mirrors (and I think pictures are even worse!) are harsh.
Kids can change that “makeup for everything” scenario. I still love makeup, but other things are more important, and that’s a good thing! I do more basic makeup now except for the rare occasion, and Covid had a lot to do with that. I’m hoping it will swing back to more normalcy in the next year or two. I’ve been happy seeing more basic looks from you because it gives me a little makeup inspiration for myself. I’ve always found positivity and help with image issues on your blog, which is why I’ve read for years. It’s a place that usually helps me feel good about myself and about life, and I hope you blog for a long time to come!
Side note— I find those TF shadows to not be the easiest to blend. I doubt it’s your skillz as much as it is the shadow. They’re so pretty in the pans, but when I use them, I always get a bit frustrated or need more tile to work with them.
I’m late to the party, but let me tell you first something: as someone who took some video and photography classes I can understand what you mean about how unforgiving camera and studio lights are; you need to wear at least some makeup if you don’t want to look sick.
However, I think you look super beautiful and radiant in these photos. As many have said, you always glow in your photos and it shows how a beautiful human you are. I think you’re sweet, caring and nice; and I also think you’re doing great raising Connor as an amazing person.
In the end, we’re our worst critics, but we can’t let it stop us from recognizing our strengths. Hugs
Yes! So much this!
Very honest post as always. I think we can be too harsh with ourselves and I still want to be the ‘perfectionist’ that I used to be with my home, clothing, makeup, hair etc etc but I can’t do that anymore as I am older and have some health issues that sap my energy. I have been trying to accept that I can’t do everything that I used to do and get annoyed when I haven’t the energy to attend to household tasks but it is hard to accept. As you say, most people don’t see the flaws and, even when I know my home is not as clean as usual, no one who comes in notices because they focus on the ambience in my home. Same goes for my face and figure which are not the same as when I was in my 30s or 40s. I think the more important things in life are kindness, generosity of spirit, compassion and you have all those things plus a very creative ability that comes through your blogs which keeps me and others continuing to read your blogs each day. We all need to love ourselves a little more. x
“I hear all of these things in my head, but I realize that most people who see these pics aren’t going to perceive all of these things as “faults.” They’ll probably just see pictures of a smiling mid-40s stranger wearing bright lipstick.”
That is exactly how I look at you, a beautiful smiling stranger! You are beautiful and I never see those “faults” you see when you focus in on those pictures.
I know external validation about physical identity is not the way forward for self acceptance but you are beautiful, and it is more than just the physical features – you have a light that shines from within in both your photos and your words.