
You peek up above the lip of the trench to scout around for a split second and then duck down again. The cool earth clings to your palms, collects under your nails. You pull your fingerless gloves on a bit tighter, their frayed edges straining against your joints. You listen and hear only the faint creaking of antiquated boards that serve as walkways, doors and handholds in this subterranean lair.
A sudden scream shreds the silence, immediately followed by a deep, guttural roar from somewhere up ahead.
It’s time. You spring from your trench, balancing yourself on the muddy edge, and finally see what you’ve only till now known as a legend. It’s giant. Amorphous. Greased rainbows slither across its filmy skin. Smokey tendrils swirl within its core, the damped sunlight seemingly refracted by its odd composition. A slick trail extends behind it; a viscous, dark eschewal of this awful thing. And you know its name. OIL.
If You Have Naturally Oily Skin
It’s time to take the battle to the enemy. Oily skin is both a blessing and a curse, but that truth no longer justifies inaction. Even though your comrades with oily skin generally develop wrinkles later in life than those with dry skin and often retain more of their skin’s elasticity over time, they must also deal with makeup meltdown, large pores and potentially horrid acne. The large pores and blemishes can be concealed, but it’s relatively difficult to keep that viscous, dark eschewal at bay until the sun disappears behind a distant crest and sleep overtakes you.
Before you charge in recklessly, you need to establish a proper base of defense. The first line comes from the use of a mattifying agent prior to the application of your foundation, which will prevent or lessen oil production throughout the day. It may sound strange, but Phillips’ Milk of Magnesia is a spectacular sebum stopper (here’s some more info on it). Just apply about a capful with a disposable cosmetics sponge after your moisturizer and sunscreen, and allow it to dry.
Dry Skin
But perhaps you’re waging the war on a different front. If your home front — your skin — is dry and arid, instead of oily, where the harsh sun glints off of the filmy sheen left by the legendary beast, recall your basic training. Check every product you use on your face to see whether it is oil or water based.
Do you remember that experiment from elementary school? The one where you mixed oil and water together in a beaker and watched them slowly separate? Well, putting both oil and water based products on your face is essentially the same thing. It could cause even the best, most long-wearing products to detach from the skin and separate into their base components, some of which could appear as blotches of shine. It’s true: even dry skin can fall to the dreaded greasy smear.
But maybe you’ve been careful not to mix oil- and water-based products yet still struggle with shine. Another common cause of shine on non-oily skin can be due to the use of products containing silicone in combination with more aqueous ones. When mixed, water causes silicone to curdle (essentially becoming a sort of plastic). As the silicone microscopically clumps and collects in minuscule spheres, it can reflect light in various and unappealing ways, thereby allowing the OIL MONSTER to prevail.
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To be honest, I never really liked connect the dots. I’d always bring that giant book home with me, the one with the thin pages that ripped whenever I tried to erase on them, to find that someone else from class had already done at least one of them, and then my whole experience would be ruined. Gah! 













