Product Reviews

Next Stop: Kitties! The New Giorgio Armani Orient Excess Palette Clutch Is Almost Purr-Fect

October 30th, 2014 by Karen 32 Comments

Tickets, please! Please have your tickets ready. Now boarding for the Giorgio Armani Orient Excess!

Good afternoon! My name is Karen, and I’ll be your conductor today.

This is a holiday train. Before we leave Novato station, all tray tables and seat backs must be in the upright position. Fasten your safety belt, and please keep your new Orient Excess Palette Clutch ($100) in sight at all times.

A two-piece holiday set, the $100 limited edition Giorgio Armani Orient Excess Palette Clutch includes a lush, velvet clutch and a two-tiered palette with an illuminating powder and three powder eyeshadows.

Be advised that pickpockets are known to target passengers on the train, and thefts have been on the rise ever since this two-piece set arrived on Giorgio Armani counters (it’s also available online).

Management believes that a local criminal syndicate of crazy cat ladies is responsible. The CCLs have been targeting the set’s blue compact for two reasons.

First, the thieves are unable to resist the sumptuous design on the illuminating face powder; second, the three powder eyeshadow colors remind them of kitties.

The three eyeshadows on the shadow tier of the round palette are classic Armani. No fallout whatsoever, and they’re smoother than a tomcat lothario.

CCLs report that the shades look kind of like cat fur colors. The dark brown on the far left reminds them of a Havana Brown, the middle shade a Russian Blue, and the golden taupe on the far left evokes a Siamese.

According to one CCL, “The shimmery finish doesn’t emphasize the fine lines on my lids, either.”

When asked about the compact’s illuminating powder, the CCL replied, “It’s not my favorite. It’s very sheer, and I can barely see any sheen or shine on my skin. I dig subtle finishes, but this one’s a little too quiet…”

She did, however, like the clutch. “Totally cute!” she said. “But it’s small and doesn’t fit a lot. Just a compact, a lipstick and maybe your ID. You can forget about your phone though.”

Speaking as a part-time CCL who only moonlights as a conductor, the blueish gray shadow in the center totally reminds me of a Russian Blue in my neighborhood.

I may or may not have exclaimed, “Ooh, kitties!” the first time I put these shadows on my lids.
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When You’re Suddenly Struck by an Urge for Pink Hair, There’s Redken Color Rebel Temporary Hair Makeup in Punked Up Pink

October 30th, 2014 by Karen 32 Comments

Redken Color Rebel Punked Up Pink — Good morning!

This morning, shortly after my second cup of coffee but before I put on any makeup, this happened.

Yes, I’m rocking pajamas, and I have not yet filled in my brows (wassup, Raul?!), but I so overtaken by the pink power of Redken’s Color Rebel Hair Makeup in Punked Up Pink ($25) that I couldn’t wait to take pics.

With a low mess factor, it’s a super-easy-to-use temporary hair color. I did this in about 20 minutes.

This color, Punked Up Pink, leans a little more magenta than pink on my dark chocolate brown hair.

The thick, water-resistant formula starts out like a lotion but dries to a fine powder, which, I’m learning right now, lasts through blow drying and styling with a round brush. It’s also supposed to stand up to flat ironing, curling and other kinds of styling, but I haven’t tried those yet.

Twisting the applicator dispenses the product, which comes out through a sponge at the top.

You apply from the sponge directly to dry hair, comb it through, and either wait for it to air dry, or use a blow dryer to speed things along. Apply additional layers for more color intensity.

Redken says that after it sets, the color can last up to two shampoos, depending on how porous your hair is and how much of the product you use.

A couple things though…

Use gloves. The product doesn’t come with a pair, but I wish it did. I thought I’d be able use it and just walk away without pink fingers if I washed my hands between layers (I did two or three for each section of hair), but even with washing and trying to be careful, I have a couple of bright pink freckles on my fingers.
Wait until you’re done applying the color before you style your hair. The lotion-y formula starts wet, so any heat styling done before using it will go bye-bye.
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The New Chanel Rouge Allure Glosses: For Full-Coverage Chanel Firepower When You Need a Little Chanel

October 28th, 2014 by Karen 32 Comments

If I’m going to have a stranger stick me with a sharp object, you better believe I’ll be wearing a little Chanel, because Chanel makes everything better (even flu shots).

At least that’s what I told myself when I applied the new Rouge Allure Gloss in 15 Sensible (one of 10 shades, $34 each, available now at Chanel counters and online) before I went to get my flu shot today.

Chanel Rouge Allure Gloss wands from the left: 13 Affriolant, 15 Sensible, 17 Supreme, 18 Seduction and 19 Pirate — From the left: 13 Affriolant, 15 Sensible, 17 Supreme, 18 Seduction and 19 Pirate

Every year when I walk into the flu shot clinic and catch that first glimpse of the needle, the panic sets in… I start mumbling and sweating profusely, and my eyes expand to double their normal size.

I had hoped that 15 Sensible would make me look less, I dunno, frightened? Rabid? Ready to rumble? I’d always reckoned that full-coverage lip glosses like the Rouge Allures tended to convey the appearance of serenity and properly aligned chakras.

But that could just be the crazy beauty logic talking. 🙂

Today, as I bared my left shoulder, concentrated on kittens, and waited for the nurse to jam the needle into my arm (“This won’t hurt at all,” she said. “Just a little pinch.”), I set my mouth into a stylishly glossy Chanel smile, even though I really wanted to scream, “THAT SH*T STINGS, MA!”

Chanel Rouge Allure Gloss in 15 Sensible — 15 Sensible

Chanel Rouge Allure Gloss in 13 Affriolant — 13 Affriolant

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With These Nudes, You’re Fully Covered: The Full-Coverage Illamasqua Glamore Lipsticks in Tease, Cherub and Naked

October 28th, 2014 by Karen 18 Comments

Illamasqua Glamore Lipstick in Naked — Glamore Lipstick in Naked

When Sephora stopped carrying Illamasqua (bummer), it made the brand a little harder to find here in the U.S. for those of us who don’t happen to live within driving distance of the Kryolan City stores in Chicago or Toronto.

But if you do live within day-trip distance, and/or you don’t mind paying extra for shipping to order online, you might want to check out Glamore, Illamasqua’s line of full-coverage lipsticks released earlier this fall, because talk about pigment up the wazoo!

Illamasqua Glamore Lipsticks from the left: Tease, Naked and Cherub — Illamasqua Glamore Lipsticks from the left in Tease, Naked and Cherub ($30.02 each)

Ilamasqua Glamore Lipstick in Tease — Glamore Lipstick in Tease

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I Like Big Buns, and I Cannot Lie: The $5 Mia Beauty Bun Ease Subdues Savage Strands and Sends Scrunchies Scurrying

October 24th, 2014 by Karen 30 Comments

These days, I have about this much patience for my hair…

Seriously, I just can’t freaking deal! Even the curling iron feels like too much work.

So lately I’ve been all about #thatscrunchielife, because it only takes about 10 seconds to either corral my mane into a low side pony…

…or put it up into this haphazard ponytail/bun number I lovingly call my “crazy cat lady hair.”

I have come to the realization, however, that as tempting as it is, woman cannot live on scrunchies alone. Eventually, we have to leave the house, and when we’re out there in the big, bad world, it really does help to look like a responsible citizen. It makes strangers less likely to run away when you say things like, “I’m looking for a velvet king or princess costume for my 20-pound cat.”

In that vein, and to expand my hair style horizons, I’ve started using the $5 Mia Beauty Bun Ease.

I grabbed it primarily because of the instructions on the box, which make using it sound so easy (“Just tuck and roll!”). The six-piece kit comes with everything you need to whip up a large four-inch diameter bun — one bun-holder thingy, a ponytail elastic and four large bobby pins — so you don’t have to buy anything else.

Before using it, my major worries were 1) that it would give me a headache, 2) that it wouldn’t stay in place, and 3) that it would be a chore to use, but since it was only $5 ($6 at Target), I figured that I wasn’t risking too much if it didn’t work out.

I’ve been wearing it pretty much all week long, and I’m happy to report that it’s great! It stays in all day, doesn’t make my head hurt, and it’s a cinch to use.

With it I can knock out a casually messy bun in one or two minutes. I’ll just gather my hair into a ponytail, slip it into the bun contraption, spread the ends of my hair over the edge, and roll the bun down. Then I secure it with the four bobby pins that come with the kit.

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A Bounty of Beauty Awaits in theBalm Balmsai Eyeshadow and Brow Palette

October 23rd, 2014 by Karen 57 Comments

I’d fully intended to channel the spirt of the bikini babe on the front of theBalm’s new Balmsai Eyeshadow and Brow Palette ($39.50) this morning by doing a light, colorful, tropical surfer babe eye makeup look, but then I started listening to The Smiths and this dark smokey eye happened…

Oops.

Oh, well. I am human and I need to be loved! 🙂

Oh, Morrissey… How I love your emo warbling. I think you really get my pain, the pain all the way down in the marrow of my bones (my lower back still hurts after the half marathon).

Speaking of things that really “get it,” theBalm always seems to know what I want/need in an eyeshadow palette. Their Balmsai palette has a great combination of neutral matte and shimmer finishes fabulous for classic looks, as well as some fun teal, blue and purple shades for spice.

On my lips: Illamasqua Glamore Lipstick in Naked and MAC Cremesheen Glass in Stately Shimmer

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Marc Jacobs Beauty O!Mega Lash Volumizing Mascara Is More Dramatic Than a Soap Opera Cliffhanger Before a Commercial Break

October 13th, 2014 by Karen 18 Comments

Do I want a mousy mascara, a timid one that keeps its eyes glued to the floor, too nervous to embrace the music and attack the dance floor with verve!

No.

How about a mascara that shushes me when I laugh a little too loudly in public, then says, “Be quiet! You’re making a scene and attracting to much attention”?

Not a chance.

Or a mascara that never wants to go out? It just wants to stay at home and watch Law and Order and fall asleep by 8:30?

ABSOLUTELY EFFING NOT.

I want a mascara that hits the gas and takes my hand while looking straight into my eyes and yelling, “We’re about to Thelma and Louise this ish, boo!” as our convertible dives off the cliff! 🙂

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For Queen B Cheeks, Try Matte Tan Rose NARS Almeria Blush

October 9th, 2014 by Karen 15 Comments

NARS Almeria Blush Swatch — Wearing the new NARS Almeria Blush on my cheeks and, yes, I’m standing in front of a fan, Beyonce-style

“Just to warn you…I look completely insane.” A good thing to broadcast right before you enter a room if you’re wearing NARS Blush in Almeria ($30) but didn’t spend enough time blending.

If, however, you did invest the time in blending — because you’ll need to with this intensely pigmented matte tan rose from the new NARS Holiday 2014 Laced with Edge collection — then you shan’t need to warn the general public, because your cheeks will look so naturally fabulous and flushed that witnesses will just assume that you’re Beyonce, and that you wake up like this. 🙂

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