Tabs

When Tabs gets dreamy-eyed and gazes off toward a tree filled with fluttering finches, or he closes his eyes and tastes the breeze with his tongue (he looks especially dreamy when he does this), I wonder what he’s thinking about.

Does he daydream about gravy? Is he listening to one bird’s particular song? Is he counting down the seconds till he has to go back inside the house? Is he reminding himself to live in the now?

I wish I knew, because I’d love to be able to give him more of what he likes.

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Man, some of the neighbors around here have no respect for authority. Everyone knows that Tabs is the head honcho. He’s the CFO (Chief Feline Officer), for meowing out loud!

Like the local turkey troupe? They’re always monopolizing the corporate salad bar. Tabs wanted to grab a quick bite before he started some intense kitty modeling negotiations today with Dior, but he couldn’t because of these guys…

The nerve!

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Tabs is traveling internationally this week (Toyko readers, you might catch a glimpse of him because he’s in Japan for a street style special for Vogue), but that doesn’t mean Team Tabs the Cat LLC gets to sit on their laurels. Before he left, Tabs tasked me and Connor with finding him a new assistant/protege, and since he’s all about promoting the local economy, he specifically requested a local hire.

We’ve been extremely busy scouting the regional talent, and so far the front-runner is this gorgeous tabby (not as gorgeous as Tabs, of course) named Harris, who lives down the street.

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Reason #1,645 that Tabs is the best cat I’ll ever have the privilege of assisting: his kindness. He’s all about sharing, and I see it in even the little things he does, like allowing the baby to occasionally wear his favorite orange bow.

What a sweet ? boy. Tabs loves a statement bow, especially bright ones that catch your eye like this one!

I mean, originally, it belonged to Connor (I got it from Target), but somewhere along the way Tabs claimed it as his own, and you know how it goes… You just can’t refuse your cat’s whims. I guess the Cat Ladies of Casa MBB are softies like that. 🙂

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Ever wonder what it’s like to spend a Sunday morning with Tabs? For most people, Sundays are for relaxing, kickin’ back and chillin’ out, but not our Tabs. He gets more done before 10 every morning than most people do all day, and always he’s doing things to take care of his human family. He’s very thoughtful.

First thing this morning, he woke me up with a couple of nudges, purrs and some gentle biscuits on my shoulder, just to make sure that I got my day started at a decent hour.

I think he remembered what I told him last night before bed. I mentioned that I absolutely *had* to work out this morning, so after he woke me up, I found him lounging on the treadmill next to my running shoes, as if to say, “Hey, girl, let’s hop to it, already.”

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Our tabby was on fire this morning! I think something must have transpired overnight…either an alley cat jamboree, or perhaps a raging party with the local wildlife. I don’t know, but Tabs was in full-on poofy-tail mode, which was surprising because, you know, he’s kind of the king of the circle. He really doesn’t have anything to prove, so when we’re inspecting the neighborhood during our early morning rounds, it’s more of a maintenance thing. Sniff this corner, check out that corner. OK, everything’s copacetic, but today he was full-on orange alert tabby — tail poofed, big jumps off curbs, lots of intense wall sniffing.

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Tabs got one of the other employees in the loss prevention department to conduct this morning’s patrol because he wanted to bring in the harvest…

The catnip carrots and peppers were ripe and ready, so Farmer Tabby went out early this morning and took care of business.

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Today was a busy day at the offices of Tabs the Cat Industries LLC, despite it being the weekend. Quite a few people showed up to work, including me and the intern, whose responsibility it was to follow the CFO (Chief Feline Officer) around and lavish him with pets and lurvies.

After fueling up on morning gravy, Tabs went on patrol around the perimeter…

As you probably know, his approach to corporate security relies heavily on kitty modeling, in that he poses in plain sight, where his breathtaking physique temporarily stuns would-be intruders.

It’s been a very effective technique over the years.

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