Tabs

No rest for the weary/hungry! Thanksgiving rocked, no question about it, but the holiday ended yesterday for Tabs. He spent all day today making up for lost kitty modeling time with FIVE new modeling campaigns — turning in some of his best work of the year, I might add.

Most of these campaigns took place in and around Novato, which is quickly becoming a kitty modeling metropolis right up there with Milan and New York. Yup, don’t let the sleepy little downtown or proximity to dairy farms fool you.

Here’s a look at the marvelous kitty modeling work Tabs turned in today. There are campaigns for MAC, NARS, Make Up For Ever, Smith & Cult (it was the first time working with the brand for Tabs) and COVERCAT Cosmetics.

Enjoy, and I hope you had a fantastic weekend. 🙂

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Dear Diary,

I’m feeling very thoughtful today — and apparently very generous as well. After my morning modeling routine (I practice daily to keep my edge), I had a long conversation with my assistant about her Thanksgiving work schedule.

Rather than requiring her to work her regular schedule, purr usual, for the first time in Tabs the Cat Industries history, I’m giving her the day off.

Am I getting soft in my later years? No. But I do appreciate loyalty. I also strongly believe that it’s important to recognize exceptional employees, which is why I’ll be spending this Thanksgiving with mine.

I know it’s unorthodox for executives to mingle with the support staff over the holidays, but while my assistant was giving me my mid-morning shiatsu massage, she started getting emotional, saying how much she loves being my companion, how I’ll always be her “oldest baby” (What’s that about? I have no idea!), and how she hopes we’ll be able to spend many more Thanksgivings together.

Although I pride myself on my ability to “keep it together,” I couldn’t help it. I got a little emotional, too.

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Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the cat, widely considered “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most popular cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.

Dear Tabby,
My landlord locks all the doors at night, and it’s preventing me from going outside. How can I rectify this egregious situation?

Sincerely,
Trapped in Tampa

Dear Trapped,
I can’t guarantee you it’ll work, but I’ve had some success mewling as loudly as possible and clawing at the drapes and blinds.

It seems to work best in the middle of the night, and it may require at least three uninterrupted hours of constant clawing.

Meow,
Tabby

Dear Tabby,
Sometimes my personal chef is late to work, and my breakfast isn’t ready when I need it. What’s the best way to let her know that her tardiness is completely unacceptable?

Sincerely,
More Timely Tuna

Dear Timely,
I’ve had the same problem with my personal chef. I recommend extremely loud mewling, and if that doesn’t work, lots of intense, focussed staring.

Meow,
Tabby

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Good morning, sir! Are you awake? I hate to disturb you, but it’s almost noon, and you have a full schedule today.

Sir?

(One hour later.)

Rise and shine, sir! It’s me again! Oh…you’re still sleeping?

James Franco keeps calling, sir. You two had a lunch meeting. Remember? I’m not sure what to tell him…

Maybe I should just wake you up. Or let you sleep? I don’t know… I guess I’ll check back in another hour. It was a long night, after all. That was SOME party, but it’s Sunday, sir. It’s time to do your column. What will we tell your fans?

I don’t even know if you can hear what I’m saying… Boy, you are out like a light! This would probably be a good time to ask for a raise. Lord knows I deserve one…

I guess I’ll check back in an hour.

(One hour later.)

OK, WAKEY, WAKEY!

What!? You can’t still be sleeping. Still…? Well, just so you know, I’ve been working my tail off today, thank you very much. I just finished cleaning the living room because your friends trashed the place, but I’m taking a late lunch now. I’ll check back in an hour.
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My Darlings,

There’s an old saying in the plus-size kitty modeling world: “Go big or go home,” and I take that phrase to heart when it comes to hosting parties. I want my guests to be talking about them for years to come.

Being a famous feline supermodel, I’ve hosted many Halloween shindigs in my time, and I have almost a decade of party-planning experience. In that vein, here are the four essential components of a successful feline Halloween party.

1. Invitations

First things first — the invitations. In the digital age, e-vites and group invites via Facebook are acceptable; however, I’m a little old fashioned. I prefer paper invitations. Do what I do, and ask your assistant to design you a custom invite.

Don’t forget to include all of the pertinent details, like date and time, location, how to RSVP and, most importantly, the dress code.

2. Food

As you can tell by my husky girth, food is EXTREMELY important to me. Catering is always an option, of course, but if you are lucky enough to have an in-house chef/gravy preparer (I do), spend some time with them brainstorming fun Halloween-themed beverages, hors d’oeuvres and desserts.

I start scouring gourmet cat culinary magazines months beforehand, and this is what I’ll be serving this year. Feel free to riff on any of these ideas.

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What’s the secret to success? According to Tabs the cat, world-renowned plus-size kitty supermodel, diva extraordinaire and full-time feline beauty blogger, it involves three things in LARGE amounts: 1) gravy, 2) lovies and 3) outside.

And Tabs wanted to discuss them all in depth in today’s insightful, exciting video installment of Sundays with Tabs. 🙂

May your fur be fluffy, and your cat liner flicks be fabulous.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addicts,

Karen and Tabs

It’s that time of year again! Preparations are in full swing for the annual Tabs the Cat Halloween Kitty Costume Ball, a charity event to benefit Husky House Cats International, an organization dedicated to placing extra large, lovable kitties with talented pet assistants.

This afternoon Tabs did his preliminary costume fittings, and he’s having a hard time deciding between Octo-kitty ($7.49) and Mermaid Tabs ($7.50). Right now he’s leaning toward Octo-kitty, but I’m partial to Mermaid Tabs… I just think the green goes better with his eyes.

What do you think?

If you and/or your cat work in the kitty modeling industry, keep your eyes peeled for your invite to the ball. We’ll be sending them out this week. 🙂

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