Tabs

The hills of Novato are safer now that the new tabby command center/cat enclosure is fully operational. Cats can rest easier knowing that Tabs the cat is on patrol. 🙂

Here’s a closer look at the construction and the materials to build one for your feline employer.

Materials

Total cost was around $50, not including the main tools, which you may already have access to. In addition to a saw (El Hub uses a circular saw, but he says that a regular hand saw works too), you’ll also need a drill for this, a pair of gloves, safety glasses, a measuring tape and the following:
• 2 in. x 2 in. boards (we used pine, but cedar and redwood are also great) for the main frame.
• 1 in. x 6 in. boards for the walkways.
• Enough 2-1/2 in. phillips head outdoor rated wood screws to attach the 2 in. x 2 in. boards (a box of 50 should be more than enough for this enclosure)
• Staple gun
• Glue gun
• A section of remnant carpeting (you can usually find a remnant carpet store in your town that will sell small rolls of 5 or 6 feet of leftover carpeting for $15-$20. You could also use a soft fabric from a fabric store or artificial grass.
• A box cutter for the carpet
• A roll of 1 in. chicken wire (also called poultry netting)
• Wire cutters (for the chicken wire)
• Wood glue (not necessary, but El Hub says it helps to reinforce the screws)
• A gate latch and 2 door hinges

[Continue reading…]

Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the cat, widely considered “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most popular cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.

Handling an unwanted gift with grace

DEAR TABBY: OK, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but frankly, I’m lost. Tabby, my assistant — good chap, calm temperament — well, his parents sent over a gift for the office the other day. Yeah, it’s the ugliest cat tower I’ve ever seen.

Very nice gesture, yes, but not only does it seem inappropriate coming from the parents of my employee, but aesthetically it’s — well, it’s just not my style.

Tabby, at your office, have you ever had to deal with anything like this? This is a first for me, and I’m not sure how to proceed.

— Appalled in Appalachia

DEAR APPALLED: Funny you mention this because, yes, I have had something very similar happen to me before, but it was a piece of exercise equipment.

I’m very close to my assistant’s parents, and one year they gave me one of those long sticks with the large green ball at the end of the string. You know the ones I’m talking about.

So I’m exercising with it one day, and bam! — the ball smacks me square in the face.

I’m like, is this thing broken? I don’t know, but I got rid of it fast.

The next day my employee asked me where it went, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I just purred and played dumb.

The truth is, I batted it under the couch.

Tact is a tough concept for a lot of cats, and my collar goes off to you for taking it into consideration. I think this is one of those situations, though, that could easily escalate if it isn’t handled properly.

The problem with a cat tower, of course, is that you can’t just brush it under the rug. Literally. It’s huge. It’s there. So you have to deal with it head on.

You’re going to have to tell your assistant something like, you know, I like the cat tower, but I just can’t have it in the office, and then make something up. Tell her that there’s a clause in the contract you have with your interior decorator that expressly prohibits beige cat towers. That way you protect her feelings while getting rid of the tower at the same time.
[Continue reading…]

I was recently tapped by a local blogger to offer my expertise on topics outside the fields of fashion and beauty.

Since my fans have been clamoring for lifestyle advice, and I’ve been trying to build my digital empire, I’ve decided to embark upon a series of how-to guides for cats.

Now, these are not just your average “For Dummies” guides. I’ll be delving into the details and covering crucial cat knowledge acquired over a lifetime of kitty modeling, and today we’ll be starting with one of the most important challenges facing cats: defending against the enemy.

I’d be remiss right now if I did not start this guide with my favorite component of territorial defense: the accessories.

Get the gear

What’s that saying: “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”? In order to keep my assistants (plural) busy, I commissioned my male assistant/masseuse/personal trainer to fashion a custom couture harness for me, so that I could patrol the neighborhood in comfort and style.

This particular harness was constructed with my husky frame in mind using nylon webbing, hook & loop Velcro-style tape strips and a craft glue gun, but I’ve also seen some exceptional pre-made gear at Petco, etc.

Look for long sight lines

One of the most important aspects of defending your space is the ability to see the enemy coming from afar. While patrolling, I always choose places with long sight lines that allow me to see other cats and intruders far away. This gives me time to formulate a strategic plan in the event of an encounter.

[Continue reading…]

Tabs is so totally stoked about the Oscars tonight! You know how he’s big into movies and Hollywood, right? Well, everyone who’s anyone wants to work with him. In fact, he’s currently the hottest plus-size tabby in the feline film industry.

He’s actually working on a number of very promising projects related to some of the Best Picture Academy Award nominees.

No question about it, all of these films are sure to be blockbuster smash hits, and not just among feline moviegoers. 🙂

[Continue reading…]

Tabs has been trying to trace his lineage lately, so we’ve been doing some research into his kitty family tree. We found out that he’s closely tied to some very famous feline entertainers, which isn’t a big surprise… After all, he’s an entertainer himself. Celebrity runs in his veins. It’s literally in his DNA.

Pleased with the initial results of his genealogical investigation, Tabs commissioned the following art portraits.

I have no idea where we’re going to hang these… 🙂

[Continue reading…]

Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the cat, commonly regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most widely syndicated cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.

An unconventional office romance

DEAR TABBY: I’ve had a crush on the same cat since we were kittens, but I don’t think she even knows I exist. You see, I work late a lot. I’m a certified kitty accountant (you know how it is, Tabby, married to my job), and I think she must also work in the area, because I watch her through the windows of my office late at night.

Sometimes I’ll see her chatting with other cats under the street lamps and, yeah, it makes me jealous, but I’m also very introverted and shy.

I rarely, if ever, go outside, whereas she, on the other paw, is a free spirit who stays out all night. It’s a classic case of when opposites attract.

My question is this: how do I let her know I’m interested without coming on too strong, and should I even bother? We work in the same area, but it’s as if we’re worlds apart.
— Interested Introvert

DEAR INTERESTED: I’ve counseled many cats in situations similar to yours, where one of the interested parties works indoors and the other one works outside, and here’s what I tell them: yes, I think you should absolutely let her know how you feel, and don’t worry about coming on too strong. Romance is all about taking risks.

I suggest interpretive dance. Express your feelings through dance one night, and try to get her attention through the glass. You’ll never know what might be unless you try.

A cat who wants to be more than friends

DEAR TABBY: This week, completely out of nowhere, my best guy friend cat brought me a mouse, then started nuzzling me and purring.

I was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?!” and he looked terribly hurt.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a very cute tom cat, but he’s also seeing one of my friends.

What should I do, Tabby? I’m not against purr-suing a relationship with him, but not while he’s seeing another cat.
— Friendly Tension

DEAR FRIENDLY: Your reaction was completely understandable. He’s putting the moves on you while he’s seeing someone else!

In this case, I think you just have to be crystal clear with him. Spell everything out.

Let him know that you would never consider dating him while he’s seeing someone else, and proceed with caution. Take it slowly when dealing with friendships and matters of the heart.
[Continue reading…]

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It’s Super Bowl Sunday, and your nephew is totally stoked. He can’t wait to see if Katy Perry includes any cats in the halftime show, because as you know, she’s a big time cat lady.

I hope so. I mean, nothing goes better with football than cats. 🙂

In today’s very special edition of Sundays With Tabs…Tabs talks about his past as a professional feline football player, the best modeling poses, accessorizing for success and personal hygiene.

Seriously, though, my favorite part of the Super Bowl is usually the commercials and the snacks (veggie burger dogs!). As you know, Tabs has actually starred in a few award-winning commercials of his own.

OK, let’s get this party started! Have a blast today, and if you have any other questions you’d like me to ask his majesty Tabs in his next exclusive interview, leave them here in the comments.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

P.S. Go Pats!

NOVATO, Calif. — This week in an interview with Feline E-News, kitty supermodel Tabs the cat, also known as the Heidi Klum of Project Runway: Novato, discussed his new low-carb wet food lifestyle.

“I want to continue contributing to the world of kitty modeling in my golden years,” says Tabs, “and my personal veterinarian says that a low-carb, high-protein carnivorous lifestyle will keep me sharp.”

According to Tabs, he offered to do all of the hunting himself, but his creative team advised against it due to the demands on his time.

“I’m focussing on wet food,” he says, “and it’s been an easy transition from kibble, although I do miss my crunchy snacks. I feel better though. I haven’t felt this good since I went to Brazil to train with the Gracies [Tabs has a black belt in jiu-jitsu].”

If this week’s crop of kitty modeling pics are any indication, the early results are looking good. 🙂

[Continue reading…]