Tabs

Dear Diary:

The state of the outside time in this company has gone way downhill lately. I haven’t been outside in two whole days, and I intend to file a complaint.

The shareholders must be made aware of this egregious injustice and corporate malfeasance. At the end of the day, it’s the company’s most serious pain point, and it demands a holistic, proactive paradigm shift to bring our synergies back into alignment.

It’s like I always say, we have to think outside the litter box to leverage our mission critical organic growth to streamline our strategery with some clear goals moving forward.

According to my assistant, it has been “drizzling” outside, and the ground has been wet. Well, let’s diversify, or something, and push the envelope! It would be a win-win situation for everyone.

Mrow! Do I have to do everything around here?

Anyway, while I type up my complaint, you may peruse the new kitty modeling pics in my portfolio. I hope they meet with your approval.

Toodles,

Tabs

Who is Tabs the Cat? About six years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model). 🙂

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Dear Diary:

I swore this weekend that I would get outside and enjoy myself, obligations be damned, and I did! I actually took a little time off today. I went for a wonderful drive through Wine Country this afternoon, and it was pure bliss.

To feel the wind in my fur, smell the cheese in the air, and leave my kitty cares behind — I really need to do things like this more often. My tabby batteries feel recharged.

Yup, it was a great way to start the new year. 🙂

Of course, my assistant was beside herself when I got back to the office. Something about the insurance not covering cat driving? Honestly, I have no idea what she’s talking about half the time…

Anywho, I trust she’ll figure it out. That’s why I hired her, after all.

Oh! — you’ll like this. I had some very interesting kitty modeling jobs last week. It being the holidays and all, the companies I worked with gave me a little more editorial control than usual. I got to plug two of my new business ventures (I’m getting into accessories and personal motivation), and since I’m no fool, I gladly took the free publicity.

As usual, here are some pics from the campaigns. Hope you enjoy them. Meow to you soon.

XOXO,

Tabs

Who is Tabs the Cat? About six years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model). 🙂

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Dear Diary,

Yeah, this was a good year.

When I think about where I started — I was a stray flashing my tum for gravy on the mean streets of Mill Valley — I can’t believe how far I’ve come.

I feel so lucky. A lot of cats don’t have it this good. I have a roof over my head, a mediocre pet assistant, a cupboard stocked with gravy, and millions of adoring fans.

What more could a tabby ask for?

Professionally, I even accomplished most of my goals. I added more stamps to my passport, expanded my global empire and worked on hundreds of fantastic kitty modeling campaigns.

Here are some of the more memorable ones that come to mind…

Who is Tabs the Cat? About six years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model). 🙂

New York

I vividly remember this campaign for NARS. It was RyGos and I working together in New York City. We partied hard. We also did a lot of walking that trip, first all over downtown, and then to chase ducks in Central Park.

I had a blast and really enjoyed working with RyGos. His tum is almost as extraordinary as mine.

Paris

I spent a lot of time in Paris this year. I’m still bummed about not winning the Oscar for my work on Les Chat Misérables, but c’est la vie.

I also had a Chanel job in the springtime with Snowflake, which was très magnifique! Hunting mice along the Seine after sunset, mewling for cheese — it was so romantic.

If I weren’t at the pinnacle of my kitty modeling career right now, I could see myself settling down with Snowflake. She’s just so…exciting, and boy can she model!

But I don’t have any room in my life for a relationship right now. It wouldn’t be fair to Snowflake…

New Zealand

Uh…New Zealand with Peter Jackson?

YES, PLEASE!

That was another amazing trip. I gotta hand it to my assistant for arranging time with Peter Jackson between the two Hobbit movies. You know you’re in good hands when he’s behind the camera.

What a gorgeous country, too. I hear it’s how California probably looked a few hundred years ago — thick forests, tall, snow-capped mountains…and lots of sheep!

Morocco

Morocco…

Not my favorite trip this year, but that’s what I get for working with a newbie photographer. You’d think I’d know better by now.

The guy had absolutely no idea what he was doing, but at least I got to work with Steve again. Best Bengal tiger in the kitty modeling business, paws down.

South Carolina

Hilton Head, South Carolina… You know, I surprised myself last summer on that job for CoverCat. I’d never waterskied before, but I think I did alright.

I’ve always had pretty good balance, even though my assistant laughs at me every time I slip on the kitchen tiles… I really should talk to her about that. It’s rude.

Miami

Miami for BECCA was fun, of course, but that’s mostly because I got some much-needed beach time.

Venice Beach, California

Speaking of beaches, Venice Beach was cooler than I thought. I expected a lot more dogs…

I met so many musically talented cats down there. It reminded me of my days battling strays on street corners in Mill Valley for treats. I always had a good-sounding meow…
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2013.

The year in review.

Hi. I’m Tabs the cat, internationally-acclaimed kitty supermodel, cat actor, entrepreneur. You may know me from such hits as Tabs the Cat Goes to Washington and A Tabby’s Time to Shine.

This week on Sundays With Tabs, we’ll be taking a look back on the year that was, from the high points (my performance in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, my big Halloween costume gala) to the low points (the Great Gravy Shortage of 2013, the rise of small canine models in American pop culture).

But before we get to that, we’ll be taking your calls on the comment line. Our panel of kitty modeling experts (really, just me) are here to answer your questions about the business, feline fame, faux fitness and how to keep your pet assistant performing at an optimum level.

I hope you enjoy this retrospective look back on the year that was.

XOXO,

Tabs

Who is Tabs the Cat? About six years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model). 🙂

[Continue reading…]

Who is Tabs the Cat? About six years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model). 🙂

Dear friends and feline aficionados,

Just a quick entry tonight. I’ve spent the better part of the past two days contending with the Christmas crowds, and my paws are killing me.

I started at the mall, and heavens! — it was a madhouse. So. Many. Cats, dogs and humans.

The dogs were everywhere, running this way and that. Most of them stayed out of my way, though, which was nice.

The children were…generally less polite, yelling and reaching out with their sticky grabby hands. One of them grabbed my tail but had the good sense to let go when I hissed. Another one exhibited perfect technique with her petting, so I advised her to consider a career in professional pet assisting after she finished her schooling.

When my tummy rumbled, I stopped by Boudin’s for a small cup of their delicious clam chowder and then stopped by Pier One to look for festive feline decorations.

Unfortunately, the cat-themed selection was lacking, but the elephants and penguins were represented well. They must shop at that store a lot…

As for my kitty modeling, I had a few fun jobs early this week, but things are starting to slow down now with Christmas approaching. I’m sure they’ll pick up again after the first.

Per our regular arrangement, I’m reposting my kitty modeling campaign pictures here in my online portfolio for your evaluation. I hope you enjoy. 🙂

Your loving furry friend, always,

Tabs

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Who is Tabs the Cat? About six years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model). 🙂

Dear fans and felines:

I’m on the cusp of an exciting adventure! Finally, a world where cats and technology become one…

I’ve been approached by a group of VCs and tech giants in Silicon Valley to consult on a thrilling new project involving kitties, technology and treats. I’m not at liberty to reveal the company’s name yet, but let’s just say that it rhymes with “Snoogle.”

Exciting times, these are…

I will always love kitty modeling; it is my art. But upon my recent acceptance into Kitty Mensa, I’ve decided to also explore academic pursuits like this exciting new venture. I’m enthralled by the new frontier of tech, in particular tech for cats, who have traditionally lagged behind humans in the tech arena.

Truth is, I’m not just a hot body. I’ve got brains, too. 🙂

Don’t worry. I have no plans to quit modeling. In fact, I was quite busy this weekend, and here are the latest snapshots in my kitty modeling portfolio.

Much love, always,

Tabs

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My friends:

I’m feeling disheveled at the moment. The humans were gone all afternoon, so no one was here to pet me on command or feed me treats. Then, suddenly, when the humans returned, they walked through the door dragging a 6-foot-tall plant — one that I did not request for the home office.

My assistant yelled out, “Look, Tabs, it’s your Christmas tree!” and made a huge ruckus as she forced the greenery through the door. “Better not knock it over this year.”

That, of course, set the wheels in motion for a plan to knock that mother trucker down.

With the tree mounted in its stand now, I’ve sampled some water from the base, and I do have to say, my assistant chose well this year. It’s a good vintage — sweet, but not overly sugary. Good sap. Bravo.

Within the next day or so, I expect several presents to be left for me where they customarily go beneath the foliage.

I have requested a number of luxury cat goods from Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Givenchy this year. Perhaps Christmas will come early, and I will be able to model my new outfits for you in a lavish holiday spread. Keep your paws crossed. 🙂

Meanwhile, please enjoy my latest crop of kitty modeling pics.

Much love, always,

Tabs

Who is Tabs the Cat? About six years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model). 🙂

[Continue reading…]

Who is Tabs the Cat? About six years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model). 🙂

Wowzers! What a whirlwind of activity. It’s been hectic up in here today at the headquarters of Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC. It was our annual Thanksgiving office party, which of course means I’ve been opening cans of gravy all afternoon.

The party is actually kind of weird because — well, I mean, for a few reasons — the company doesn’t really have any employees other than me and Tabs, and he’s the FEO (Feline Executive Officer). Tabs throws the party every year primarily for the photographers who work with him on kitty modeling shoots, you know, as a way to say, “Meow!” (Thank you!) to them for making him look so good.

It’s also maybe a tad unusual for a tabby cat to throw a party — I mean, a party of this magnitude.

Gravy fountains, an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet, a catnip-infused oxygen bar and cameos by some of the hottest cats in the business (Garfield, anyone?). It was a pretty big to-do.

But, thankfully, it’s over now, and I can finally rest.

Ah…

Oh! Almost forgot. Here are the latest kitty modeling pics in Tabs’ online portfolio. Hope you enjoy. 🙂

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