Tabs

Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 254

July 28th, 2013 by Karen 20 Comments

Dear friends and felines,

As you may already know, I spent the latter half of last week on staycation at my condo in Novato.

My assistant and her male associate went out of town, but they left me in capable hands with an experienced pet sitter, a flourishing pot of cat grass, a new tin of dried catnip, several cans of gravy in my favorite flavors and a promise to return “real soon.”

Of course I feigned indifference.

Because you and I have grown quite close, I feel that I can be honest with you. It’s rather embarrassing, but you see…I may have missed my assistant while she was gone. Maybe. Just a little.

Oh, sure. She gets under my fur a lot, does annoying things like picking me up while I’m napping in the sunshine (the nerve!) and calling me all sorts of ridiculous nicknames, like “Baby Cat” and “Mixy Bear.”

But that woman makes a mean can of gravy. No one — and I mean no one — prepares Fancy Feast like she does. I’ll give her that.

So today I got to thinking about, perhaps, getting her a token of my appreciation.

I researched all weekend long, trying to find that purrfect gift that says, “By no means do I need your help, but I wouldn’t resist if you tried to rub my tum or prepare my evening gravy.”

I’ve narrowed it down to the following list of cat-themed gifts, reproduced here for your consideration.

1. Lion Hat for Cats, $50

Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and take one for the team. Even though you may feel grumpy wearing this Lion Hat, it’s a surefire way to bring a smile to your assistant’s face.

Available now at the Nestasnest Etsy shop.

2. Cat Eyeglasses Sweater, $69.99

You don’t need 20/20 vision to see that your assistant will look smashing in this sweater.

Available now at ModCloth.

3. You’re Kitten Me Wedges, $49.99

Mint green feline-inspired wedges? You gotta be kitten me! These are purrfect for shoe-loving assistants with a quirky sense of style.

Available now at ModCloth.

4. Who You Lookin’ Cat Top, $34.99

Because two tabby cats are (usually) better than one, especially when it comes to printed baseball tees.

Available now at ModCloth.

5. Cats Map of the World, $23.68

Have I ever mentioned that my assistant has a thing for maps? This gift combines her love of cartography with cats. Genius!

Available now at the artPause Etsy shop.

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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 253

July 21st, 2013 by Karen 9 Comments

Shortly after I got home today, I took a shower and walked back downstairs to find Tabs sipping a catnip cappuccino on the deck. He was sitting at a small circular wrought iron table with his back to the screen door. He’d just finished having a late lunch salad of catnip and zinnia and was listening to the birds sing while reading The New Yorker.

“Sir,” I said to him through the screen, “I’m back from La Jolla.”

He stopped and piqued an ear at the sound of my voice but didn’t turn around. A moment later he went back to his reading.

“How were things while I was gone?” I asked, ignoring the awkward pause.

A hummingbird appeared. It flitted up to a glass feeder hung from the awning over the deck and poked its long beak into the tiny brass flowers in the base, moving from one to the next, all the way around.

Tabs paused to watch the hummingbird, his tiny cappuccino cup frozen in midair, and proceeded to cack-ack-ack at the bird without otherwise moving.

When the bird zipped away to a nearby oak tree, I pressed again. “Is there anything you need?” I asked, not really expecting an answer.

With his back still to me, Tabs picked up his iPhone and started typing with his thumb claws.

Something vibrated on a table behind me. My iPhone. I picked it up and saw a text from Tabs.

Typical, I huffed, and read the text. “Please direct all correspondence to my new assistant.”

New assistant? Who could that– Oh, I suddenly realized, he meant El Hub.

I’m getting the silent treatment… Yup, that’s what I get for taking a few days off.

In other news, Tabs had a very busy week with lots of kitty modeling jobs, and here they are. 🙂 We hope you enjoy.

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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 252

July 14th, 2013 by Karen 12 Comments

Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, commonly regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most widely syndicated cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.

Justifiably jealous?

DEAR TABBY: While watching Animal Planet on the couch with my assistant last night, I caught a glimpse of what looked like a fluffy tail on the screen of her company-issued iPad.

My assistant, Pam, appearing to notice my sidelong glance, pivoted the screen away from me, at which point I feigned disinterest by intensely grooming my inner thigh (you know how it is).

When Pam got up from the couch to prepare my afternoon snackies, I swiped my paw across the iPad’s screen, entered the code to unlock it and saw what she’d been reading — a dog adoption site for our town’s local shelter.

Quite frankly, Tabby, I was shocked and dismayed. Despite being a shelter kitty myself, I very clearly told Pam when I hired her that I required her undivided attention. I specifically told her that I needed an assistant who could commit to one cat.

This is difficult because Pam has been an exceptional assistant, and I’ve been very happy with our arrangement. When I confronted her about it, she laughed and handed me a treat.

A treat!

Tabby, I’m trying to be reasonable here, but every time I think of Pam considering other employers, I fly into a jealous rage. Am I overreacting?

— Diva in Detroit

DEAR DIVA: I understand your concern. I enforce a similar arrangement with my assistant.

But consider this: has Pam always tended to your needs? Has she gone above and beyond the call of duty? If so, then perhaps she was merely web surfing.

Haven’t you ever looked at things you didn’t intend to bring home? Window shopping? I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent browsing the Chanel website, filling my cart with Chanel-branded cat towers and toys, knowing full well that I wouldn’t be making a purchase that day.

I monitor my assistant’s Internet usage and have caught her looking at cat adoption sites several times. When it happens, I climb upon her chest, rev up the purr machine, and show her who’s boss.

Now, I can’t speak for Pam, but you may want to postpone taking any disciplinary action, for now. Refrain from making a knee-jerk decision. Be vigilant, but I would bet a bag of Feline Greenies that you’re going to be just fine.

Is middle age too late for a career change?

DEAR TABBY: I am an 8-year-old cat considering a mid-life career change.

I’ve worked security all my life, but now I’m thinking of chasing my dreams of becoming America’s Next Top Kitty Model.

I’m not afraid of crowds and enjoy performing. What do you think? Should I go for it, considering my advanced years?

— Senior Superstar in San Diego

DEAR SENIOR SUPERSTAR: Bravo! I applaud your courage and sense of adventure. I think it’s a great idea. I suggest attending casting calls in your area to test the waters.

While the mature kitty modeling market is a narrow niche, it’s quite possible to have a successful career. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. I wish you luck!

Privacy please?

DEAR TABBY: My assistant, George, has absolutely no regard for my privacy. He feels the need to share my every activity with all of our acquaintances and business associates, including the members of his book club and his many Facebook friends.

George even posts pictures of me on his website, and some are rather embarrassing (like when I’m grooming or taking a nap). Sometimes he even tweets!

Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he calls me silly.

I do think that I require more privacy than other cats, but I don’t think it’s right to tell everyone on the planet when I have tummy troubles! What can I do, Tabby? How do I make this stop?

— Private in Petaluma

DEAR PRIVATE: Your assistant may be posting these pictures of you because he’s proud.

I find that’s often the case, but you still have the right to live a life outside the limelight.

To convey this to George, you could try making yourself less available. Hide in closets, boxes and under the bed. I must tell you, though, that hiding can lead to a lonely life. I know many cats who would love to be so adored and revered by their assistants.

Why can’t they cut it out?

DEAR TABBY: When did cat-kind suddenly decide that lion cuts were “stylish”?

I can understand shaving off patches of fur for medical purposes, but to walk around with everything just hanging out like that, except for tiny tufts of fur on your head, your paws and the tip of your tail, seems wrong and ridiculous to me. Please tell the cats of the world to stop shaving their fur!

— Perturbed in Portland

DEAR PERTURBED: I fancy myself a fashion-forward feline, and I can see why you find this upsetting. Lion cuts can look a little questionable on some cats.

However, sometimes it works! Cats blessed with plush, fluffy coats may as well work it, right?

A tum fetish?

DEAR TABBY: I met a cat recently — a cute enough fellow — but the thing is, I really like his tum. Like, really, REALLY like it for some reason.

It just hangs so perfectly, and the way it swings back and forth when he walks or runs…

Anyway, I love how fluffy it is and the shape and everything.

Ironically, I’ve never actually paid much attention to tums before. Just his. So does this count as a fetish? Am I weird?

— Tum Obsessed in Topeka

DEAR TUM OBSESSED: No, I don’t think you’re weird. Now, if tums were the only thing you ever liked about cats, then you might have a belly fetish, but this just sounds like a crush. I wouldn’t go ordering that gimp costume from Amazon just yet. 🙂

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addicts,

Karen and Tabs

Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 251

July 7th, 2013 by Karen 13 Comments

Have you ever heard of the sunflower diet? Oh, it’s all the rage around here. Tabs heard about it from a friend of his who works at our local FNC (Feline Nutrition Center). Basically, you just supplement your regular diet with sunflower leaves.

Yeah, Tabs can’t recommend it enough…

It’s not actually a weight-loss program, though… In fact, Tabs hasn’t lost a pound since he started grazing on the sunflower plants in the garden on my deck.

It’s more of a quality of life thing. 🙂

In other news, kitty modeling! Remember how I mentioned that Tabs was going to start branching out with new ad campaigns for cars and other products? Well, it started in earnest this week with kitty modeling campaigns for Jaguar, Samsung and Old Navy.

It’s just part of his growing empire. Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC is actually in the Feline Fortune 500 now (meow, right!?).

To see what all the fuss is about, here are his latest kitty modeling campaigns…

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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 250

June 30th, 2013 by Karen 15 Comments

Tabs is really worried that his career is taking a terrible turn. No, it’s not that he’s losing jobs to a younger, more ambitious kitty model or that he’s been typecast in the plus-size arena.

Quite the opposite, in fact. He’s getting more modeling jobs than ever. Makeup and beauty (of course), fashion, housewares, pet accessories, food (Friskies, Science Diet, Fancy Feast), consumer electronics, movies, TV. He also just signed a deal with Jaguar, so pretty soon he’ll be promoting cars!

No, the problem isn’t a lack of work. It’s the opposite. He’s overexposed!

And that can spell doom for a kitty model. Some of the brands want a fresh face, so Tabs has been thinking about taking some time off, or maybe moving to Japan for a while (he loves sushi).

We’ll see… Hopefully it doesn’t have to be that drastic.

Which reminds me, have you seen any of the ads Tabs worked on this week? He had kitty modeling jobs for Chanel, Cargo Cosmetics, Dolce & Gabbana, Paul & Joe and MAC.

If you or your cat get a kick out of any of these, please let Tabs know. He loves your comments. 🙂

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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 249

June 23rd, 2013 by Karen 14 Comments

Misery is being a world-renowned kitty supermodel and not having unlimited in-and-out privileges in your own home.

Poor Tabs.

He’s such a good cat, and I know he would love to spend his days exploring the hills and open space here in Novato, but he’s not allowed. He’s on house arrest because he’s a roamer, and I’m afraid he’d get lost, try to cross a busy street or cross paths with a wild animal.

He still goes for daily walks on his leash, with me serving as his personal Secret Service agent, but I’m sure he misses his days as an untethered, free-spirited loner outside.

Oh, well. It’s the price of fame, I guess.

This week Tabs worked entirely from home. Photography crews turned the living room into a working studio and brought all of the lighting and props for his kitty modeling shoots. It was quite a spectacle! Here are pics from the ad campaigns…

Hope you enjoy this week’s installment of Sundays With Tabs, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 249. Let us know which of these is your favorite. Mine’s the Gucci Lizard Rider. 🙂

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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 248

June 16th, 2013 by Karen 12 Comments

Tabs the cat.

Kitty supermodel, two-time Academy Award winner (for Lincoln’s Cat) and The Cat’s Speech), author, blogger, astronaut, spokesperson, feline wunderkind, hip-hop artist, reality TV star, entrepreneur (founder of Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC., the company behind Rent-A-Tabby and numerous makeup and beauty brands).

Truth be told, there aren’t many titles Tabs hasn’t held.

Earlier today while watching Man of Steel I got to thinking about greatness and motivation, specifically what drives successful individuals to accomplish great things.

After having accomplished so many things, what gets Tabs up in the morning? What motivates him to keep trying so hard at everything he does?

Well, I think he’d say the obvious, gravy, but I think it’s more than that. Something else.

He already has enough gravy stockpiled to last him a decade, and yet he keeps testing his limits, getting up early and staying up late, pushing himself harder and further.

Why? For what reason?

I guess one answer to that is, why not? 🙂

Which reminds me, have you seen these recent ad campaigns starring Tabs?

(Oh, and have you already entered this weekend’s $50 Sephora gift card giveaway?)

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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 247

June 9th, 2013 by Karen 15 Comments

I’ve been having a wonderful birthday weekend so far, and so has Tabs. Thank you for all of the sweet birthday wishes. I hope you’re having a good time, too.

Who is Tabs the Cat? About five years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model). 🙂

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this special birthday weekend installment of Sundays With Tabs. To see what else acclaimed kitty supermodel Tabs the Cat has been up to over his seven years on this earth, check out Sundays With Tabs, the Archives: From Anastasia to Zoya.