The cat and I are a package deal
If 41% of all tweets are considered pointless babble, does that mean the other 59% are awesome little pearls of wisdom like this one that crossed my path last week?
Someone posited the following for consideration: “I could never date ______.”
Hilarity (and zillions of retweets) ensued. 🙂
Even though El Hub and I have been together since the dawn of time (roughly a decade), I still remember what it was like to be lookin’ for love in all the wrong places.
Here are nine things on my “I could never date______” list. What’s on yours?
1. Someone who really, really loves earthworms
He could be perfect in every other way, but if he kept earthworms as pets or owned an earthworm farm, our relationship would not go far.
2. Someone who hates my cat
What can I say? Tabs and I have a relationship that my male friend would simply have to accept. I definitely need a dude who’s down with the kittehs.
3. Someone with a dramatically different perspective on punctuation
I’m no card-carrying member of the punctuation police, but, homie, better, know, the, basics, if you catch my drift.
One of the boys I dated ended every sentence with an ellipsis.
Hi… How was your day… Mine was great… I spent all day listening to old Stevie Wonder records… Now I’m making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich…
Drove me nuts! Of course, he was a DJ and knew music like the back of his hand, which leads me to…
4. Someone with uncompromising taste in music
Music’s always been a big part of my life, and I’ve always tried to keep an open mind about different genres, unlike some of the dudes I dated. One of them would only listen to techno — constantly. Another absolutely hated hip-hop (sacrilege!).
Old school!
5. A vampire
Why? Because 1) blood makes me queasy, and 2) I love sunny days.
6. Someone who overuses the word “like”
I actually went out, like, with a guy who, like, talked like a straight up valley girl; every other word out of his mouth was, like, like. We, like, didn’t date for long.
7. Someone who wears cutoff daisy dukes and/or belly-baring crop tops in public
NOT SEXY! And speaking of keeping stuff under wraps…
8. Someone who leaves the bathroom door open
Some things should not be shared. It’s called private time, boys. Please shut the door when you’re handling your bidness.
9. Someone who didn’t get my jokes
Houston, we’d have a problem.
Now it’s your turn. I’m guessing you have your own list of guys/gals you couldn’t date. Complete the phrase, “I could never date______,” and leave your answers in the comments. No worries if you don’t have nine. Nine just happens to be my lucky number. 🙂
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
I could nerver date…
1. someone who smells bad.
2. someone who is not openminded.
3. someone who does not like food as much as i do!
Apparently I can’t spell never.
I could never date someone who:
– doesnt read or doesnt get that I read.
– has bad hygiene.
– doesnt have compassion especially towards animals.
– doesnt have a sense of humor.
– is disloyal, unfaithful and a liar.
– is bigoted and narrow minded.
– is clingy and doesnt get the concept of “me” time.
– is mean spirited.
– cannot appreciate my dorkiness. 😀
I liked this exercise, Karen! Thanks!
The Hubs and I took a mental health day — the renovations at work had just about driven me insane and awakened the allergy beast. We had Indian food for lunch and I ran into MAC to grab some stuff. I got Soft Brown and Plumage eyeshadows as my back2MAC, also grabbed Nymphette (love it!) and a 239 and 214 brush. 😀
Both of those are fantastic brushes. I love the 214 for smudging along the lashline, especially.
I can’t remember — do you have the 217?
yepyep i do … its a nice brush but for some reason i find it easier to work with the 224.
i think id like the 242 next … it would be nice to have a small concealer brush for cream based products for the eyes… 🙂
I could never date…
– someone who spit on the street. It just screams low class to me.
– someone who swore a lot. It’s just not cool.
– Someone religious. I’m an atheist and I think this is an issue you really should see eye to eye on.
– Someone cheap. Sorry, I’m practical but do like indulgences.
– Someone who doesn’t love my cat. That’s just the way it is.
I could never date someone who…
1) Has no brilliance in them… I don’t care if it’s math or sports or whatever – dude has to be brilliant on some topic.
2) Has terrible hygiene, no compromise, no way.
3) Hates animals, not an allergy, just straight out hate.
4) Is rude to people in the service industry for no reason.
5) Disrespects me, no cheating, no abuse of any kind, none of it.
6) Isn’t confident, I want someone who isn’t threatened by a woman with advanced degrees and is comfortable with who he is.
7) Is misogynistic, he doesn’t have to wave the feminist flag but should respect women.
8) Doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs in excess… a little is fine but I’ve had enough stoners for one lifetime.
9) Has nothing intelligent to say, in the immortal words of Judge Judy – beauty fades but dumb is forever. I want someone who can keep me entertained in the days when our junk no longer works.
I could never (have) date(d)…
1. a whiny person.
2. someone who was lactose intolerent. Unfortunately, my hubby became one earlier this year. It’s very frustrating to find something that doesn’t need milk or cheese!
3. someone who wasn’t open minded.
4. who lies about my cooking. I take it personal!
i get around most of the lactose intolerant stuff by using lactose free milk. as for the cheese part i haven’t found anything for that yet
I could never date someone:
1. Had REALLY bad grammar. I’m a bit of a grammar nut.
2. Who had really bad personal hygiene.
3. Who didn’t get along with my dog.
4. Who wasn’t an animal person.
5. Who LIKED spiders. I don’t have a thing called arachnophobia for a reason.
6. Who whined….constantly; ditto with being clingy.
7. Who had appalling manners, especially at the dinner table.
8. Who doesn’t have some of the same interests I did.
9. Who doesn’t understand the meaning of having your pants ABOVE the rear.
10. Who was cruel.
11. Who cheats in relationships.
12. Who was a drama queen.
And last, but not least:
13. Someone who spent MORE time in the bathroom or prepping than I do. I have my limits.
I think there’s more but that’s all I can think of currently.
I could never date…
1. a vegan
2. someone who won’t share food
These two go hand in hand. I love going to restaurants and passing plates to be able to taste more stuff. I also love to cook and share what I make but ain’t no way I’m cooking vegan.
3. Someone who wouldn’t call me on my sh*t. I need someone to help keep me sane! 🙂
4. Someone who doesn’t get my sense of humor or appreciate a smartass. Cause neither of those things are going to change.
5. A yes man. Seriously, dude, grow a pair and argue.
6. A guy who does the baby talk thing. I might be your babe, but don’t talk to me like a baby.
7. A guy who is disrespectful to people. Friends, family, waiters, a guy on the street. C’mon, buddy, the world is too small and too crazy to treat people that way.
lol! I so agree with the baby talk, annoying!
at least he’ll never get salmonella. lol
I could never date someone who:
1. Doesn’t have manners (Thank you, Please, Excuse Me etc)
2. Only listens to hip hop
3. Smokes weed or indulges in any kind of drug
4. Only wears jeans and t-shirts
5. Their idea of a meal is burger king
6. Ridicules me for my love of make up
7. Doesn’t like different genres of film
8.Talks too loud on the phone (especially in public)
9. Says the “N” word like it’s just any other word
Oh man, I agree with so many things you said. Especially #1,3,8 and 9
i so agree on the make up one! they can have their vices, leave us to ours X3
Change number 6 to ridicule me for my love of nail polish and you have mine. 🙂
Yes, I -do- have to have EVERY color I see that looks pretty.
1. …who murders people. That’s a dealbreaker. 😉
2. …who hates video games.
3. …who likes to prank me and jump out and scare me
4. …who thinks it’s okay to fart all the time in my presence. Burping? Sure. Farting? No.
5. …who likes to watch a lot of movies. Because if he didn’t we’d never spend any time together.
6. …who hates girls who wear makeup. I mean, really?
7. …who has radically opposite views on social politics and religion.
8. …who is a terrible kisser.
9. …who doesn’t like me the way I am this very second, and the way I’ll be in 10, 50, 100 years.
Oh no, a man who hates video games?! He needs his man card revoked. LOL I love video games. I don’t know about number one, though. Ever seen Dexter? 😉
Nope, I’d totally be okay with a vampire — if he looked like Alexander Skarsgard, obvi :p
I have quite a list, but here’s some of it! I could never date a man who…
-didn’t get along with my family
-didn’t have MANNERS!
-didn’t understand the merits of proper punctuation. (I feel ya on that one, Karen!)
-had bad personal hygiene
-wouldn’t wear SPF! (Kidding on this one…. sort-of.)
-wouldn’t kill bugs for me. Someone’s gotta get them, and it’s sure as heck not going to be me!
Ohhhh, bugs, that was the one I was forgetting on my mini-list (I think my list must be a million miles long). I can kill earwigs and mosquitoes and that’s about it. I will kill an itty bitty spider if under duress (i.e. Killer–aka Dad–is Asleep). I have to do my whole Heeby Jeeby Dance after I do kill said spider. Don’t talk about crickets and grasshoppers. I have a serious fear of them; even more serious than spiders. Make pretty music, seriously terrifying when you pull at HUGE dead one out after you went rollerblading. Ew to the billionth power.
God created men to do three jobs (aside from the obvious procreation thing): lift heavy objects, repair things and kill bugs. Why? Because the ‘y’ chromosome is genetically weaker than the ‘x’ chromosome (yep, we females are stronger than males on a genetic level. Why do you think over half of miscarriages and stillborns are male?) We have to put them to work somehow.
I could never date someone who…:
1. doesn’t respect women.
My mom, his mom, his sister, the waitress…
2. doesn’t have a sense of humor.
3. is clingy.
I should be his girlfriend. A relationship should be nurturing and complementary, it should NOT be a full-time job!
4. is a complete and utter, embarrassing dork.
There’s quirky and geeky, and then there’s dorky. The line is thin, but can be done without being embarrassing in public.
5. makes sound effects when he tells stories.
I don’t date little boys.
6. does not or will not try/eat my cooking.
I’ve been told my chicken adobo was bomb, and have been asked to make house calls to teach them how to make it. (The tip is to let it get to a boil, and then leave it on medium for atleast 30 minutes, to tenderize the chicken legs so that it gets that fall-off-the-bone goodness. Also use apple cider vinegar, and regular soy sauce, not reduced sodium–that does nothing to it!)
7. cannot watch cartoons with me.
Ok, so I said I don’t date little boys. I don’t. I’m talking geeky adult cartoons, like Archer, Metalocalypse, Frisky Dingo, and Code Monkeys. I love those.
8. plays RPGs.
I will not touch those with a 90 yard pole.
9. takes bad B-movies and 80s action movies seriously.
Again, he needs to share in my sense of humor, because life’s too short to be mad and serious all the time. 🙂
Oh, and…
10. is a Hipster.
*I* gotta be the girl in the relationship. I can’t stand pants tighter than mine, condescending attitudes, and the sense of entitlement!
the non rpg player is now on my list too!
If the guy refuses to eat or try your cooking because he truly thinks your chicken adobo is made from dog meat, you are within rights to *literally* kick him out to the curb. That’s just wrong.
I don’t know what’s worse, though: the RPG guy, or the guy who spends all night playing Counter Strike/ World of Warcraft/ Plants vs. Zombies but can’t be bothered to call you back.
I could never date someone who:
1. … is dishonest.
2. … is clingy.
3. … is jealous.
4. … fails at grammar.
5. … doesn’t like animals. I plan on having a fur family.
6. … eventually wants kids (because I really don’t, and I don’t want to go through the relationship thinking he’ll change his mind while he’s thinking I’ll change my mind).
That’s all I can think about! By the way, I watched some of your old YouTube videos, and OMG! the dance moves ones cracked me up! You’re so funny!
Now, I’ll admit I have dated men with these “qualities” in the past, but if I was playing the field now (which I’m not), these are my current dealbreakers:
I could never date someone who:
1) wants kids. As soon as I found out a man I was dating did want them or worse (GASP!) actually HAD kids, I’d be outta there so fast there’d be a woman-shaped hole in the wall!
2) doesn’t like animals. I mean, WTF? Sorry, but I think people who don’t like animals are a little weird, and a lot of them seem to possess a disturbing lack of empathy.
3) isn’t a vegetarian, or at the very least wasn’t open to the possibility of becoming one in the future. I suppose as long as he legitimately understands and respects my lifestyle and doesn’t expect me to cook him any meat (and doesn’t mind the disgusting, horrible stories I would no doubt regale him with about the meat industry) he’d be okay by me.
4) doesn’t respect women. Pretty obvious one, but I can tell the difference between someone who honestly believes men and women are (should be) equals, and someone who doesn’t. Actually, I wouldn’t date anyone who was bigoted or closed-minded in any way.
5) who I have nothing in common with, and isn’t intelligent. Another obvious one, but I have very specific tastes and interests and I could not bring myself to pretend to be interested in sports or what have you just to impress some dude. Also, I expect my man to be VERY intelligent, or I’ll get bored.
6) who gets jealous. That is such an unattractive quality! If I say Zachary Levy (or whichever hot nerd I happen to be looking at) is cute, it doesn’t mean I’m going to hop on a plane to America so I can hunt him down and have a torrid affair! Of course, I also don’t mind if he looks at hot chicks, I just think people should be classy about it, myself included.
7) who has temper tantrams. I mean, come on! I already said I don’t want kids…
8) who is religious. No offense to anyone here, but I personally cannot respect a religious person enough to want to date them. To each their own, obviously, but I certainly don’t want religion to have that much influence on my life.
9) who doesn’t accept me for who I really am. I am weird, I admit that freely. I don’t want my man making me feel self-conscious about my special personality traits, such as making me feel guilty about never wanting to socialize or making me feel like a freak because I have no friends. He should feel lucky that I trust and am comfortable enough with him to let him be such a huge part of my life!
Honourable mention: a smoker! Gross! I dated a smoker in the past and it was not pleasant, let me tell you!
Great topic, Karen! It actually makes me feel pretty proud of myself to have such a comprehensive list at this point in my life, and that my current squeeze (fiance) fits all of this criteria to a tee. Thanks for reminding me how lucky I am! 🙂
Ahhh ha ha ha! That sunglass-wearing smiley face was supposed to be the number eight!
I’m married but this was my list before.
I could never date someone
1)whose eyebrows looked better than mine. (Don’t like that)
2) who smoked
3) who spends more time in the bathroom than I do
4) who isn’t ambitious. You need to have dreams and goals in your life. Staying home is not an option.
5) who tells me that his friends can sneak us into a movie for free. (yes that happened)
6) who tells me that his friends can get sneak us a free meal at mcdonalds (yes, same guy)
7) who thinks getting into bar fights is cool
8) who approaches me and calls me “mami”
#8 is hysterical! lol and agreed! ><
I could NOT date someone who:
will not argue with me
doesn’t understand quietness and alone time
someone who doesn’t like people 🙁 especially kids, and animals
someone who isn’t in touch with their creative side
isn’t hygenic, who likes to look good once in a while
someone who sees life as a task to be done
someone who is selfish with their time/love/etc
a couch potato..no way
oh, and is not motivated to make something out of life!
I maintain that you would not kick Mr. Northman out of bed for hatin on sunshine 🙂
He’s alright after he’s had a little fairy blood! 🙂
haha! FUN! ok, here’s mine.
i could never date:
-someone who was completely tone deaf or devoid of any musical inclinations. yes, i’m a snob. but in my defense, i’m a singer.
-someone disrespectful.
-someone with no ambition.
-someone who drinks (more than socially), smokes, and does drugs.
-someone impatient (coz lawd knows he’ll need it to deal with me :p)
I could never date someone…
– That was shorter than me. It sounds shallow, but I’m 5’8″ and I like my heels!
– That has awful grammar. English is my second language, but I mastered it and cannot stand people that use words incorrectly.
– Obnoxiously hairy. I just can’t.
– That had bad hygiene; no need for mani/pedis, but a daily shower is necessary.
– With no drive. I want to be successful and don’t want to be dragged down by a lazy boy.
– That didn’t accept my friends and family; they don’t have to be besties, but he better not talk smack about the people I love.
– With long nails/toe nails. EW to the max!
– That was a homebody all the time, I get bored easily.
– A messy eater. My current bf is being retrained because that business has got to go!
Ooh fun! Let’s see….
I could never date someone who:
1. Is racist, misogynistic, or homophobic.
2. Has issues with substance abuse.
3. Is disrespectful to people.
4. Does not love animals.
5. Does not love all kinds of music.
6. Is verbally or physically abusive.
7. Has no sense of humor.
8. Does not live life with passion.
9. Is looking for a “mommy.”
1. Doesn’t like humor. There is literally nothing in life that is not sometimes funny.
2. Is taller than me. A weird one I know, esp considering how short I am.
– is on his iphone/ android all the time!
– speaks in another language without translating for me. downright rude!
– takes himself way too seriously.
– turns every word into a dirty joke. some guys never leave high school mentally…
– from an all-guys school. they act so weird around girls. like we are an exotic species.
– flatters me to no end. cut the crepe.
i could go on and on but these are off the top of my head so i guess these are my date-breakers 😛
I could never date someone who:
1. Smokes… anything
2. Doesn’t like my dog
3. Disrespects my family/myself
4. Isn’t adventurous at all
5. Doesn’t have ambitions
6. Curses incessantly
7. Has bad hygiene
8. Refuses to work out with me/eat healthily on a regular basis
9. Is apathetic in general
^Ditto
I could never date. . .
someone who hates kids/pets etc. . . that’s just not cool
someone who finds problems with everyone and everything.
someone who is un-accepting of other people’s beliefs and/or lifestyles whatever they may be (including my own as a practicing christian).
someone who takes more time to get ready then me.
someone who is sexist and thinks wives should be all obedient to the men in their lives.
someone I can’t talk to.
someone who doesn’t accept my choice of abstinence until marriage.
someone who’s uptight all the time.
someone who thinks they are so much better then everyone else to the point of cockiness.
someone who is un-affectionate.
I could never date anyone who:
9. is a neat freak. Seriously, I’m a girl who doesn’t mind clutter and HATES organizing (which is different, in my mind, than basic cleaning like dishes/vacuuming/dusting) and always knows where everything is despite the clutter. I wouldn’t be able to stand someone who needed things in the right place all the time.
8. has a “frat boy” sense of humor. Movies like Superbad with gross humor make me retch, not laugh.
7. wants to convert me to their religion. I’m cool with you having your own beliefs, but don’t push them on me or expect me to follow them or tell me I’m going to hell because I don’t think what you think.
6. was a social conservative. I believe very strongly in environmental protection, pro-choice, gay marriage, and many other “liberal” issues that I believe should be common sense or decency.
5. was too serious.
4. wasn’t open to new things and new music.
3. thinks classical music is boring. I’m a classically trained pianist. I like going to concerts and being in choirs.
2. couldn’t deal with my family issues. My family is grade A crazy and it has a big impact on me, like it or not.
1. was afraid of intellectual debates.
I would never date;
1 a racist or a homophobic guy
2 a religious guy; i tried, but we had such different ideas it just didn’t work out
3 someone younger than me; i’m only 16, and most guys are such kids at 16
4 a guy that speaks english with a dutch accent. dutch is my first language, but i went to a bilingual school and i lost that stupid accent.
5 someone smaller than me. sorry, but a guy should be taller.
6 a guy that doesn’t like to travel. i love to travel.
7 a guy that doesn’t have a passion for sailing or surfing like i do.
i would never date someone who has no respect for me.
and if he respects you, youll find compromise
about nr4 , music – my boyfriend is a DJ , hes into that techno,house and shrenz (thats something scary and faster and than techno and not so dumb like drum&bass ) im definatly hiphop girl, and he dosnt like rap music. and guess what ? we live together in peace and harmony 🙂
I don’t mind if the guy listens to different music; it’s just the dudes who are extremists who drive me nuts. As long as he’s willing to at least be open to other genres — classical, jazz, etc. — we can be cool!
I could never date anyone who is
1. Rude
2. Disrespectful
3. doesn’t approve of my love of all things makeup
4. doesn’t give me a hug when I need one
5. Controlling
I used to get you on the music thing Karen, but my present boy has completely different taste in music to me and we get along just fine, his redeeming quality is that he plays loads of instruments 😀
Variety is the spice of life! I don’t mind a guy with a different taste in music; I mind the ones that absolutely refuse to listen to anything other than what they like. Gotta keep your ears open, ya know?
Yup, I agree, this is fun! I’ve out on dating game for a while (almost 10 years) but here is my 9 things:
I could never date someone who…
1) Smells bad. This is just a deal breaker. If I couldn’t stand sitting next to him, why would I want to date him.
2) Have a reptile as a pet. I don’t like reptiles just thinking of a pet iguana suddenly sneaking up next to me when we cuddle on the couch gave me shivers!
3) Cruel to animals. Any animals, especially cats… because I love cats.
4) Loves the music I hate and vice versa. I could predict a lot of arguments in the future with this one, I don’t want to wear headphones all the time 😉
5) Not adventurous. I love to try out new things, going to new places, new restaurants… I’ll die if my partner only want the same routine for the rest of our life.
6) Not smart. I love my geeks 😉
7) Close minded. We live in a cultural, religious diversity! Embrace it 🙂
8) Has a fat belly and an obsession of unhealthy food. Because it shows sign of unhealthy eating and lack of activities. Unless he’s willing to change.
9) Has a moustache. Totally uncool.
This is so much fun! (Karen, do you mind if I borrow this? I may have to share this with other online friends, but I need your permission first.)
I could never date, and will never date again…
1. Someone who is condescending towards me for any reason at all. I don’t care if it’s my ethnicity, my diet preferences, or my taste in music – a putdown is a putdown, and that’s just no way to treat a lady. Which leads me to the next point…
2. Someone who takes so much time to tell me how funny and smart I am and how I’m practically “wife material” for them… except that he’s not looking for a wife right now, blah blah let’s be friends so I can get lucky with the skank who walked past you. The next time this happens, I will make sure to put that tall, cold glass of Shut Up on his bar tab.
3. Someone with terrible hygiene. If I have to reintroduce you to my good friends Soap, Toothpaste, Shampoo and Deodorant, you are 100% responsible for working with them.
4. Someone who’s so in love with himself and his beauty routine that he makes The Situation look like a cloistered monk.
5. Someone who does not read, period.
6. Someone with a bad sense of humor. Or no sense of humor, for that matter.
7. Someone with terrible conversation skills.
8. Someone who wants me to pity him. Oh, boo hoo hoo, I’m sorry that life gave you the short end of the stick, but would it kill you to take a little more responsibility?
9. Someone who believes that the rules of etiquette, proper conduct, spelling AND grammar do not apply to him.
10. Someone who wears more bling than I do.
11. Ergo: #9 + #10 = someone who owns way too many Ed Hardy shirts, but can’t be bothered to buy and/or wear a proper suit and tie.
12. And since 12 is my number: anyone who forgets to tell me about the lady (or dude) who loves him so much and is waiting for him at home right now.
This list could go on forever…
Hi Meimei,
Sure, feel free! If you wanna add a link back to this post that would be great, too!
Thanks, K! 🙂
Oh, my! This is thought-provoking for a Friday AM! 🙂 Luckily I’ve been with the Hub for 13 years so hopefully I’ll never have to deal with this again, but,
I could never date anyone who:
1. Couldn’t accept with my faults (it’s easy to love someone’s good points!).
2. Didn’t like my friends (if you make me choose, dude, you’re not gonna be the winner).
3. Had bad hygiene, especially oral hygiene (silently gagging at the thought).
4. Has bad grammar, spelling and/or speech (this is my failing because I would eventually get on him… non-stop). I had a bf who, whenever we argued, would yell “he don’t, she don’t, it don’t, AINT” to watch me freak. In fairness, it was high school. 🙂
5. Is fanatical about anything. Passionate, yes. Obsessive or excessive, no.
6. Is not athletic.
7. Is not sharp (again, my failing because I require people to keep up). Doesn’t need to be book smart, but if he’s not, must at least be quick-witted. OK, I take that back. Must be both.
8. Is unkind or hateful in any way.
9. Is lazy, unambitious or feels entitled to anything he hasn’t worked for.
10. Is unpatriotic. Criticize policies you don’t like and question all you want, but the minute you bash our country or disrespect our flag, you are dead to me.
I guess that’s it. A nice, round 10. 🙂
I could never date:
1. An ex-boyfriend
2. A soccer/sports fanatic
3. A guy who can’t speak english
4. A guy with no sense of humour
5. Someone who’s allergic to cats (package deal is a good concept)
6. An asexual guy
7. A guy with hygiene problems
8. A drug-user
9. My boss
Forgot number 10: A girl 🙂
Girl I hear you on your list! Except I’d have to substitute “dog” for “cat”. 🙂 I could never date someone who wears logo Ts, especially Ed Hardy crap. 😉
I could never date…
-someone who wants kids
-someone who wants to play video games all the time
-someone who hates soccer
-someone who had terrible grammar
-someone who can’t make me laugh
-someone who does hardcore drugs
-someone who never wants to get married
-someone who wants to move out of the midwest (I love being close to my family)
-someone who won’t kill insects for me
-someone who is religious
How fun!!! 😀 I could never date somebody who:
1. smells bad (ewwwwwww NO WAY)
2. doesn’t have a sense of humor
3. is a drug user
4. wants to change who I am
5. is dumb, I like smart guys! 🙂
6.puts on his face more stuff than I do (lol)
7. isn’t open-minded
8. is rude, nasty,disrespectful etc, I like nice guys!
9. is controlling (NO WAY)
I could never date:
1. A homophobe
2. Didn’t have an open mind in films and art.
3. Had no sense of humor.
4. A raging Conservative
5. Bad Body odor and refused to use deodorant – this is why I would suck as a Hippie!
6. Pretended to be smart – that’s just a waste of my time
7. will not compromise or be a team player – sorry relationships are a 2-way street if you don’t put your share of the work into it then it’s over!
8. not close to his family
9. didn’t like childern or animals – you might as well be a sociopath!
I could never date someone:
1. who is not honest or trustworthy
2. who smells bad
3. who doesn’t appreciate/respect that I’m a “girly” girl
4. who has bad manners
5. who believes that chivalry is dead
6. who is overly religious
7. who has no ambition/who doesn’t dream
8. who takes longer to get ready that I do! nuff said
9. who is shorter than me
10. who is clingy. yuck!
11. who makes me feel like a loser for being smart and liking school
12. who doesn’t accept my family and friends
this is such a funny list! 🙂 i love it
<3 gina
p.s i actually use the bathroom w/ the door open all the time, my boyfreind hates it! hehe
I’m married, but should I suddenly find myself single (god forbid), I could never date someone who:
(1) has no sense of humor
(2) watches sports all the time
(3) doesn’t like to read
(4) doesn’t play an instrument
(5) makes fun of me for using big words and long sentences (I actually did go out with someone like this. Once. It didn’t happen again.)
(6) is some kind of religious fundamentalist
(7) reminds me of my father
(8) is shorter than I am
(9) doesn’t like kids or animals
I could never date someone who:
1) Confuses “your” with “you’re” in email and text. This is my biggest grammar pet peeve.
2) Uses more hair products that I do. The only exception is if the guy also has curly hair but then again his hair would be shorter than mine. Therefore, in theory, he would use less product.
3) Uses racial and homophobic slurs. I’m intolerant with intolerance.
4) Insists on watching football with him when grand slam tennis is on. I’m sorry but he’ll just have to leave me the hell alone when I’m watching tennis.
5) Will whine about “nothing happening” while watching Wong Kar Wai’s “In the Mood for Love” or Michelangelo Antonioni’s “L’Eclisse.” So you have to read subtitles and watch films about oppressive societial standards on relationships. Deal with it.
6) Criticizes my love of pop music. Everyone is entitled to their music tastes.
7) Can’t appreciate an Alfred Hitchcock film.
Fun list! I’d never date someone who…
– has awful grammar. It doesn’t have to be perfect but it has to be understandable!
– is racist, sexist, or discriminates anyone in any way, even if it’s just a joke.
– cries more than I do.
– is insecure and gets jealous easily.
– would change his personality for it to get along with mine. I mean, get a spine man.
– wears makeup and/or wears tighter clothes than I do.
– isn’t witty, funny and smart.
1. is controlling
2. “stanks” (shout out to Dave Chappelle)
3. has no oddball sense of humor
4. thinks “jokes” are funny
5. is a redneck
6. dips Skoal/snuff/Kodiak or any of that stuff you put in your mouth – blech
7. is close-minded
8. wears aviator-style eyeglasses
9. fails to brush his teeth after eating Funyuns
10. is mean to me
I could never date someone who:
-Disrespects there parents.
-Doesnt offer to pay the check.
-Doesnt listen to the same music that I do (no country songs please).
-Stood me up even once.
-Doesn’t tip well.
-Pluck his eyebrows more than I do.
-Doesn’t get off the cellphone.
-Rubs my face in my mistakes.
1. someone who smoked (highly allergic, and its disgusting, and it smells)
2. someone who doesn’t like to travel
3. someone who doesn’t like animals or pets (I’m a zoology student, animals are literally my life!)
4. someone who isn’t willing to take charge once in a while ( not all the time, but having to make all the decisions in a relationship is not a relationship.)
5. someone who doesn’t understand my slight addiction to makeup (hehe)
6. someone who doesn’t have a similar sense of humor (they don’t need to be funny- though that would be a bonus- but someone who understands my jokes is a must)
7. someone who doesn’t have a job. (I’m sorry, but unless we’ve been together a long time, I’m not supporting someone from the get-go)
8. someone who won’t let me talk during movies (it’s a flaw, I know, but it honestly completes the movie experience for me, not letting me will honestly ruin the movie, and our relationship)
thats all I can think of lol, thanks for this awesome post!
I could never date someone who…
1. is constantly loud for no reason.
2. is rude.
3. is unaware of the feelings of people around them.
4. has bad hygiene.
5. is a picky eater.
6. doesn’t like to travel.
7. doesn’t have a sense of humor.
I think #3 should actually be #1. I just hate when people can’t tell how other people react to them! I hate when someone can’t tell that they are being rude, mean, or inappropriate, or when they know and just don’t care…
This is a great post. I got a little enthusiastic, so my list has 12 things instead of 9.
1. Cannot make me laugh (being too serious or boring gets old fast)
2. Is pretentious or psueduo-intellectual. Some of the smartest people I know come from humble backgrounds and don’t have a college degree.
3. Wears too much cologne or doesn’t smell clean (body and breath)
4. Is lazy and not will to work
5. Has bad credit. This usually goes hand in hand with #2 or #4. How you handle your financial obligations says a lot about you.
6. Lives above their means. See #2, #4 and #5. We all like nice things but if you are funding your lifestyle on credit cards and loans you can’t pay, then your priorities are not in the right order.
7. Has ‘jacked up’ teeth. For example, extremely crooked teeth, excessive tartar build up, metal of any kind that is not a required dental device—e.g., braces, retainer, etc. I hate gold/platinum/diamond-encrusted teeth.
8. Looks pregnant and has ‘moobs’. Call me vain but a man should not be able to wear a A-cup bra. Typically ‘moobs’ (man boobs) go hand in hand with a big stomach. Not sexy at all! I’ll take rail thin over a beer gut any day.
9. Can’t go bald gracefully. Thinning hair and receding hairlines are not the end of the world. I say guys, “Stop holding to the see-through hair. Cut it and keep it closely cropped. It is much sexier.â€
10. Thinks I should be flattered that he is ogling my butt or boobs. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a problem with guys checking me out. Just don’t be a jerk about it.
11. Is intimidated by career success or feels the need to compete with me. I am lucky to have a husband who is my biggest cheerleader. He is secure in himself and doesn’t feel the need to tear me down so he can feel good about himself.
12. Is high maintenance and needs validation every 5 seconds. If you lacked confidence or esteem before we met, my telling you how great you are won’t give it to you. It has to come from within.
I could never date someone who…
1. kisses and tells… and brags, and exaggerates
2. hates cats/don’t treat animals well
3. doesn’t love his mom/loves his mom too much
4. doesn’t like my friends
5. is too possessive
6. doesn’t like inception/or likes twilight series…
7. is sexist
8. doesn’t recycle
9. talks trash about other people all the time
1.Someone really perverted.
2.Someone with no sense of my humor.
3.A sexist pig.
4.Someone with radically different political/religious views and was uncompromising.
5.Someone who hates my interests(drawing, music genres, etc).
6.Someone who doesn’t like my friends or family.
7.Someone who doesn’t accept me, that I am a person, or someone with my own needs.
8.Someone who does drugs/alcohol
I could never date a man who:
1. was ugly, but again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder 😉
2. was short
3. Had bad hygiene, incl bad breath/b.o
4. Had no manners
5. Wore crocs on 1st date. Or flip flops.
6. Smoked
7. Had nails longer than mine
8. Had hairy armpits. I know I’m a freak 😀
9. Was a penny pincher.
Lol! Oh, I could never date someone who was not literate enough to form coherent sentences and had a basic grasp on grammar. Some of the people on my FB drive me *crazy* because I can barely even understand what they are saying.
I could also never date someone who doesn’t like books. I would have absolutely nothing in common with such a person.
I have a number of informal requirements, but this is the most important rule:
His moobs/pecs cannot be larger than my boobs. It doesn’t matter if you’re that fat, or if you just work out that much. They’ve gotta be smaller than mine! Anything else is just excessive.
Also Anything Ed Hardy, Crocs, socks and sandals, trucker hats, and outfits combining army/olive green and red get an automatic veto.
* Someone my cat doesn’t like.
Really, now, even the dumbest cat I owned had excellent taste in people.