Oh my goodness! I don’t know why I continue to be shocked by the big feelings on the first day of school, but here I am once again, sitting at my desk with dried tears on my cheeks and a swirl of emotions in my chest.
For the last two weeks, I’ve been solely focused on supporting and building Connor up to get her ready for second grade. In between chaperoning playdates and adventures with her girl gang, there’ve been a few “I don’t want to go back to school” moments, with lots of tears and hugs.
The past few days have been spent preparing, planning and trying to get her braced for the first day. We’ve packed bags, talked about things to look forward to, planned outfits — I’ve always believed that if you’re anxious about a transition that it always helps to prepare as much as you can, so that’s what we did.
When El Hub and I walked her to her classroom this morning, she was in good spirits — a little nervous but still cheerful. After she dropped off her backpack and said hi to her teacher, she walked into the classroom without looking back. No tears at all, which was great!
Once we walked away from the classroom, though, I cried, which I did not expect at all. You know that friend you have who is fine until she’s not? That’s me, LOL!
It’s the intensity of the feelings that shock me. What I know deep down is that one day she really won’t need me; she’ll walk through a door and won’t look back, and even though logically I know that’ll be a good thing, part of me is having a hard time accepting it.
So, I try to joyfully be present for the brief time I have with her. One of the strange blessings that comes with having a child in your 40s is that you become so acutely aware of the passing of time. I know how quickly these years will pass. In the blink of an eye 10 years will fly by and she’ll be going into her senior year of high school. Craziness!
Anyway, before I start crying again, on a somewhat random beauty-related note, this was the first year El Hub has been able to be home for the first day of school, so I had all these plans to put makeup on this morning so he could take a “proof of mom” picture of me and Connor.
I ended up only having time to do my hair and put on tinted sunscreen, so my dreams of looking at least semi-decent did not happen, LOL!
I’m going to Ulta and Sephora to buy a present for a friend and to do some browsing to cheer myself up. If there’s anything you’ve found lately that you’ve been really into, let me know. I could use the distraction.
Send a virtual hug this way, will ya?
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
Wait until you get to the day when your child prefers that you don’t take them to school or the first year you drop them off at college and go home to an empty house. Our kids are resilient.
Be well.
I know! Those are going to be BIG feelings!
Dropping them off at college was the worst for me. My husband had to drag me out of his dorm room and then I cried for the next hour in the car. At least for the next 10 years you know she’ll be coming home at the end of the day. (((Hugs))) to you.
Big, big ((hugs)) to you! It’s hard. My second niece is a senior this year. I don’t know where the time went. ‘The days are long, but the years are short’ is such a sappy cliche, and I hate just how true it is.
For a luxurious, yet inexpensive pick-me-up, stop by Trader Joe’s and pick up a tube of the guava scented hand cream. I think it’s a limited edition summer scent. I like to thin it out with a tiny bit of unscented Neutrogena Hydroboost so that the hyaluronic acid helps allll the moisture sink in and the cream spreads more easily. And the smell is so happy! (This trick also works well with the TJ’s coconut body butter.)
ALL THE VIRTUAL HUGS are going out to you! I know you probably think there is nothing good about feeling this way, but there really is. You nailed it when you said that you have a real understanding and appreciation for how quickly this time will go, and you’re being present and enjoying it. That’s the best gift you could give yourself and Connor. <3 She will be home soon, chattering away about all the fun she had on her first day, and you can be proud that you're raising a confident, happy person. Focus on the good things, my friend. It's the hardest thing a mom can do, since we're usually beating ourselves up for every mistake (even when they're not actually our mistakes!). Happy Back to School!!!
I can’t believe how grown up she is!
Re: beauty browsing, my past purchases were the Urban Decay 24/7 Inks Liquid Eyeliners in Oil Slick and Whiskey. A friend recommended the formula and I like it a lot so far! The tip is the kind I like. Oil Slick isn’t quite as pigmented because it’s metallic but I love the color.
I also have the Hourglass Eyebrow Gel in my cart but haven’t purchased yet.
Awww *Hug* congratulations Karen – you’re now a very cool Mom of a Second Grader. Little Miss Connor is adorable 🙂 She has your smile.
Time flies so fast, right? I don’t have kids. I have a niece and nephew and I remember them being tiny little people and now they’re almost my height. They’re so much fun to talk to and have beautiful personalities.
Ooh speaking of makeup – have you tried the Rare Beauty Mascara? I bought it because it was significantly cheaper here than the other brands. The formula is so creamy and it gives good length. Not sure about the volume though. But it’s waterproof from what I noticed. Also, have you had a chance to try the liquid lipsticks that Lisa Eldridge launched? They’re called “Velveteen” formula. I picked one up and the formula is excellent. I’ve never seen a liquid lipstick that I liked – until this one. It even looks nice as it wears off 🙂
Big hugs!!! Mine are in 4th and 5th grade this year. I don’t know where the time went?!? Nothing prepares you for the emotional roller coaster of being a mom.
I have not purchased it yet…but I keep looking at the new MAC Studio Radiance Serum Foundation. I will probably give in and try it. And I recently bought two Honest Beauty Creme blushes and I really like them so far.
Hi Karen, Your comment about her not needing you someday resonated with me. My Mom died 30 years ago and I still miss her, so I doubt Connor will ever not need you. She’ll just need you in a different way.
Thank you for saying this Jan. Sending you a big hug.
It’s strange, but I don’t think I ever cried on the first day of school, not even my first day of kindergarten, which was in February due to my family moving from TX to CA (TX did not have free kindergarten in those days). I was 5 yrs. and 3 months old, with no experience in daycare or preschool (it didn’t exist in those days). And even then, I don’t believe I cried. I think it was because I wanted to get away from my family of six who were crowded into a couple of motel rooms until we could get a house!