I noticed that I started doing this recently, and I’m 100% sure that it’s linked to Mommy Land, ’cause now, whenever I eat, I eat hella fast, shoveling every bite into my mouth like someone is about to take my food away. Because I’m always waiting…always listening…for Connor Claire to start huffing and fussing.
She has some kind of special radar. “Ooooh, Mom wants to eat a hot meal? OK, time to turn on Fussy Baby Mode!”
LOL.
And I don’t just eat quickly. I pay bills quickly, do laundry quickly, shower quickly, use the potty quickly (Haha! It’s true though…) — I move like the Flash during those precious minutes of quiet time when Connor’s napping.
I’ve been wondering (worrying) how I’m going to get stuff done with an infant at home when I go back to blogging full time, and I was talking to a friend (Hi, Steph!) about this the other day, and she said that it is hard to work from home with a baby, but still entirely possible.
Because right now it seems impossible.
She said that the keys are 1) to have routines, 2) to work as fast as you can while the baby sleeps, 3) to be flexible with yourself and 4) to regularly ask for help.
So, um…help?
Anybody else have any good tips? I could sure use some ideas (and a little reassurance).
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
Yikes, yeah, that sound kinda daunting indeed! But let’s be optimistic and believe your friend and assume that it CAN be done! I guess finding a good routine will indeed be the most important thing. I just hope you won’t find yourself rushing every single thing you do in your day… Doing everything so fast fast fast all the time isn’t healthy.
I wish I had some advice for you! If it’s any solace, babies do grow quickly (for better or worse), so at least you won’t always have to rush around *quite* as much.
Hi Karen!!!
I had my little one recently too, he’s 2 weeks younger than Connor 🙂
He’s my 3rd baby and thank God is my easiest. As long as he’s full and changed he’s usually pretty good for the next few hours. I do have some special weapons though!
-See if your baby likes to be swaddled. My little guy loves it, some babies are more comfortable without it.
-Get a Soothie, sometimes the little ones fuss because they’re sleepy and want the comfort of sucking to help them sleep but not hungry enough to want any more milk.
-The mamaroo is my holy grail and babies that like car rides does well with it 🙂
Love you Karen!
-Jenny
Connor Claire is so sweet, getting big! Quincy and Mina send bunny and kitty kisses!
I don’t have any advice, but I’m sure you can do it 🙂
I keep easy to prep foods around for quick eats and when I work I just can’t worry about anything else. The housework can always wait, it will always be there!
On the days when I have my 10 day old and 2 year old at home nothing gets done. Nothing. It’s a successful day if everyone eats and the kids sleep. Good luck!
Boy, I wish I had some tips for you. My husband took care of Michael and worked part time on the weekends so I could keep reporting full time.
I would say though that for sure look for a mother’s helper to come in at least for a handful of hours per week–or a couple hours a day. Babies/toddlers are just so demanding. Otherwise, you’re going to run yourself ragged and get frustrated and resentful. You’ll enjoy baby time more if you have an extra hand.
And geez a lou, she’s so cute I can’t stand it.
Oh geez, I should have read your response first, I basically said the very same thing! Haha.
5. Take care of yourself. And yes, DEFINITELY get help or you’ll run yourself ragged. Consider hiring a “mommy’s helper” during the week. It’s like a babysitter but you’ll still be home. It will give you a chance to get things done while Connor is happily entertained by someone else. A mother’s helper is generally cheaper than a babysitter since you’re still around and available if need be. With the school year ending soon I’m sure there will be plenty of capable young adults who’d love to help you out a few hours each week!
So much cuteness all at once!!!
I don’t have any children, so I can’t be of any help here… But I’m sure you’ll figure it out along the way.
She is so adorable! I have two little ones myself. In the newborn stage I swore by the Boba stretchy wrap. They loved being swaddled and warm up to the body. They’re so young, they just want the warmth of mom. I could do things around the house and even be on a computer with that thing on.
Karen- she’s lovely. But it is hard. But routine is the key. Along with being flexible. But also consider hiring help to come in while you’re there to give you some focused time. Congrats!!! You’re gonna be the best mommy!
Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice except to say I’d hold her/play with her if I were there so you could have some down time & get things done. But I also wanted to mention Connor Claire’s natural blush. I’m sure she woke up like that ?
it’s not all that bad until they start walking.
then……….
well, you’ll see.
My daughter is 10 and it’s still a pain to work from home when she is around.
Hi Karen. Connor is lovely and brings back so many memories for me. My kiddos are 13 and 15 now but I worked part time from home. I think the key for me was to set realistic goals and ALWAYS BE PREPARED. It was harder when I had 2 at the same time, since my kiddos are 23 months apart in age. I was dealing with double diaper duty. I worked only part time and made sure that my employer was aware that I only work part time that was non negotiable. Also I know times have changed and you have access to the latest and greatest in baby gadgets but back then I lived for the baby swing, leaning vibrating bouncy chair thingy, and baby stroller. When my babies were Connor’s age they were next to me in the swing or mini crib while I was on the computer and while they napped I got whatever chores needed to be done. I sang, spoke, and read to them and here is the best advice I can ever give you to keep you sane. Make time for you and don’t feel guilty. My mantra. Happy mom makes for a happy home. I’m thinking of having T-shirts made. Haha. For me that was getting outside to take a daily walk with my kiddos. Exercise made me feel good and getting outside helped me to get away from the confines of home. When they were old enough joining a gym saved me from post partum depression. When you work from home and don’t have a social outlet with anyone over the age of 3 its hard. I also started sewing again and making baby quilts and knitting sweaters for the kiddos. You’ll do fine and Connor is lucky to have a momma like you who clearly wants the best. Oh and I know it seems like when you go on an outing it feels like your packing a preparing for war but having a diaper bag packed with all the essentials is critical especially when she gets older. Hugs to you and your beautiful baby girl.
Oh one more thing. Get used to going to bathroom with the door open and cutting corners. Especially when she starts walking. I used to joke about how privacy in a bathroom is one of the luxuries you give up when your a new momma small price to pay. They’re worth it.
I agree with your advice! I had twins and preparation is the key!
I was home for 4 months when I had Max but I was lucky because my oldest son was home during a big part of that time for summer vacation. He helped a lot so I agree with getting someone to come in and help you a few days a week. Also, I agree with getting in a routine.
Does she use a pacifier? That helped Max a lot and he loved the swing and vibrating bouncy seat. Those were always things that I used a lot with him.
It’s super hard. I have a 6 year old and 3.5 year old and finding the time to do anything was really hard when they were little. In the first 6 months just allow yourself to take care of you and step back from working a little bit. She’ll eventually be on a good schedule/routine with 2 longer naps a day instead of a bunch of small ones. I always used the first nap to clean myself and my house then the second nap to take care of business stuff. And if that amount of time means that you arent able to post as often in C.C.’s first year or so I think all of your readers and fans will understand and support you in whatever way we can.
Accept and ask for help from El Hub! If he can help with her that’s priority numero uno. If he can do a load of laundry and you can fold, wait for him; if he can pay bills let him. Daddy’s help is so under-rated but it’s the best help you’ll ever get. Also, between now and when you start writing full-time again: find out what soothes Connor Claire. If it’s a binky, a stroller you can push with your foot, a swing, a washing machine, find it and use it! Good luck Mama!!
Basically, what everyone else has already said. Take time for yourself. Real time, not rushed time. Look into finding a mommy’s helper, a housekeeper to do laundry and cleaning. I taught my husband to do the laundry, the picky, perfectionist way I do laundry.
We also ate quite a bit of take away food in the beginning, since my DH can’t cook, but we needed to eat. He was pretty good at cleaning up after dinner and loading the dishwasher.
I think Jenny has some good suggestions for baby soothing.
Also take some time with the eating and self care. If she fusses a little longer than usual it won’t hurt her. I got pretty good at holding my BG in my left arm while eating with my right.
She’ll grow fast enough and when she does she’ll be satisfied for longer periods. Be do try to establish a routine, as that helps.
I am not and have never been a mom, so take this with a grain of salt.
I don’t know if you will be able to be back to full powers to do everything you did before full time plus be a full time mom for a while until Connor Claire is a little bigger and more independent. Babies require a lot of work and attention and it’s hard to see how you can manage everything yet. Her needs will take up a lot of your time and energy for a while, so don’t be too hard on yourself about needing to do everything and do it all yourself. I agree with some of the other posters – having some help, sharing some of the responsibilities and getting accustomed to a new routine will help, too. Just don’t panic if you find it’s too much right now. You’re still adjusting to a big major change in your life and it will take a while to get used to the new way things are. The experienced moms have some good advice and you have the emotional support of your blog community wishing you well. <3
Karen, Connor is super cute! Too bad you can’t ask Tabs to give you a paw to help with the baby. I don’t have any kids but I do know that when my sister in law worked from home after she had my niece she kept her in the baby bijorn most of the time or had her swaddled and she was able to get a lot of work done. The other alternative to ask grandma and grandpa to come visit. My parents would go to vallejo to watch my nieces while my brother and sister-in-law worked.
As everyone else has said, establish a routine. You may need to blog in the evenings when the husband is home and you’ve got help. Also, and this is super important, relax! Put a blanket on the floor and lay her on it in the room that you’re in. Then read her everything you write. Put her on your chest to nap while you’re writing. That way you get your work done, because it’s important, and you get your time with your daughter, which is equally important. You can hold her in one arm and eat with the other, slow down, chill out, put her in a stroller and go for a walk and compose your blogs on that walk. You’re not going to make a mistake with Connor, feed her, change her, love on her, easy peasy!
I think I’d keep the interns on as long as you can. That way you get your little one into a routine. Once you do that will probably stick until two or so when she doesn’t want to take naps anymore.
I only can agree with the other comments: It will get easier, get her on a routine when she is old enough and get some help. I had a cleaning lady with my first, as my husband never is at home and managed to pass a very big exakt when my daughter was 7 months, studying very hard for it while still giving my lectures.
The first three month feel like you will never have any time for yourself again, but you will. And you will eat hot meals seated at a table again. Promised.
She’s a cutie pie!! I think if you sit her close by you with things she likes to watch a mobile or toy, music wherever works.Find things she likes to look at or listen to. It’s good if she can learn from an early age to entertain herself sometimes. If you grab her every time she makes a peep it will become a habit and she’ll be totally dependent on you for distraction from boredom. I feel this makes a big difference as she grows and matures she’ll be able to use objects and her imagination for coping skills to ease her anxiety and make life easier for everybody. You’ll figure out what works as you learn her personality and what she likes.
Totally agree with you Denise. Honestly if I knew my baby was fed, burped and changed and she/he started crying I let them cry for five minutes.They figured it out and learned how to entertain themselves. Since my kids were always right next to me in a swing, crib, or bouncy chair I knew they were safe. Trust me 5 minutes is HARD and long. When its your first child you go into turbo mode and try to make it so they never cry. My ex husband worked 12-14 hours a day and was never home so I did it all. I had to pick and choose my battles. With that said I also never got into the habit of co-sleeping or pacifiers because I didn’t want to be like my sister who ended up having her son in her bed and using a pacifier till he was 4 and it was a bitch and a half getting him to go into his own bed and learning how to stop sucking his thumb for her.
What an absolutely beautiful little girl! Just like her momma!
XO
Wow, gals. So much great advice. Thank you so much and please keep it coming!
P.S. Connor is napping at this very second, so I’m puttering around on the computer. 🙂
Oh, what a cute little baby! My two are little older, now. But I still remember me eating really lightning fast, when they were little 🙂
My advice to you: Get yourself a comfy baby carrier an use it regularly. It will be a real help. I have done a lot of housework or writing at the computer while wearing my babies in a carrier.
Karen, thank you for keep it REAL! I still inhale my food as a consequence of motherhood. I feel like everything is a race against time.
Karen,
I am right there with you. I went back to work (partially working from home, partially in the office) and graduate school when my little one was 8 weeks old. He is now almost 8 months and I am just staring to feel like I have this whole thing down. Between handling work and school here are the things I found worked best for me:
1) Crockpot cooking to eliminate the dinner prep time.
2) I asked friends or family to come over to do specific things when they offered help. (Instead of just come over anytime, it was would you come on Saturday at 10 and bring your gardening gloves?)
3) Daddy time. It’s good bonding for them both. I asked my husband to handle putting him down for bed at night after we do the bedtime routine and nurse. This was essential and turned out my husband was better at convincing the baby to go to sleep than I was (because, after all, Daddy is not as fun as Mommy and doesn’t smell like milk…).
4) I had a hard time finding something that would entertain him in the early months, but he loves music. I found this Fisher Price activity gym with a piano he could kick that plays music (http://www.target.com/p/fisher-price-kick-n-play-piano-gym-green/-/A-15044265). When he was younger, it was good for about 20 minutes of fun. That was enough to put him down and handle laundry/dishwasher/vacuuming/etc. As he got older, he could get up to 45 minutes of entertainment out of it. (He still actually likes it.)
5) When it got really crazy I hired someone to help out with the household tasks. It turned out to be easier and more cost effective to hire some housekeeping help, and I got to still spend the time with the baby.
My last tip is just to take it one day at a time. If I thought about everything I had to do in a week, it became totally overwhelming, but if I focused on the one or two things I wanted to get done in a single day, it was much more manageable. Motherhood sure is a crazy, but awesome ride!
I just want to say the interns are doing a GREAT job. So don’t feel guilty staying away from the blog. You did a great job in preparation of your leave in getting them on board.
Depends on how long she sleeps. Some are lucky and have little ones that sleep 4 hour naps. It is possible to sit by the pc with the baby on your lap while breastfeeding having her on a nursing pillow. Maybe try having her sleep naps for longer by having her sleep in fresh air outside that is what we do in Denmark. Or try to get part time Daycare !!
It’s hard but it’s not impossible. It will get harder as she gets older. If you can, scale back on everything and just enjoy this time. Your blog will be here waiting when you are ready to come back. I am on baby #3 right now and having everyone on a good sleep schedule is imperative to me getting things done. My kids sleep 7:30 pm to 7:30 am and most of what I get done on my blog is after 7:30 pm. Everything for my blog goes into a box in a closet where it can’t get wrecked by baby hands until I am ready to wear it. I also found it easier to get a Lowell Ego light for taking pictures. Finding great daylight is proving difficult when I’m trying to handle the kids all day. Good luck! On a side note, I wanted to apply to write for your blog but I had just found out I was pregnant with #3 and couldn’t commit to that many posts a week. If you would be interested in someone to write only once a week or so let me know 🙂 I am a long time fan of your blog and would love to help.
So I haven’t gone through that myself, but I have friends who are both graphic designers, and the girl/mom is freelance and works from home. She has a nanny that comes during regular business hours, like from 9 to 5, to take care of the child while she’s working. That’s the only way for her to be able to put in the hours she needs to make a living out of her activity.
I don’t think you can count on the naps for very long, none of my friends’ kids really nap regularly after age 1.5 or so, and never really more than an hour at a time. So if you’re looking for a long-term solution, you’ll probably need some kind of help or daycare. Daycare is great for early socializing!
Don’t rush anything you don’t have to, first of all. Your interns are doing a great job, so you have time. Your friend’s advice is good. When Connor is a little older, she’ll spend some time playing with a play center or other toys. I’d put my kids and some toys on a blanket close to where I was working. I could watch them and talk to them. (I narrated everything.) Also, you could find someone with whom you’d feel comfortable, and you could pay them to watch her a few hours a week in your home. Moms tend to become geniuses at multi-tasking out of sheer desperation.
Playpens near you are great, too. Once they were old enough, my kids loved the Exersaucer (I don’t know if they still make those?), because they could stand and move around (but couldn’t go anywhere!).
Not having kids myself, I can’t help much with the tips thing….
But the eating fast thing sounds kinda like a “superpower” we always joke about with my Mum. She can drink a boiling hot cup of coffee in about 5mins, when it takes the rest of us 5 mins before coffee is a drinkable temperature!
I’m the oldest of 5 kids, so I suppose it was a habit she got into – drink fast, or miss out on the caffeine 🙂
Hi, Karen. Make a list of things of ALL the parenting things that need to get done. Put a note next to the things that only YOU can do. Share it with El Hubs. Decide together what you can do TOGETHER on that list. Outsource the rest. This can include grocery delivery, changing your budget to allow for takeout for the next few weeks, having El Hubs come home an hour earlier from work to let you rest before you’re up all night, etc. Bottom line: You aren’t expected to do it all, have it all. Divide and conquer. Work as a team and build your team of support. Be selfish. You have a right to eat your meals. You have a right to shower. If you have family nearby, ask if they can come over and hold the baby so you can shower, or get groceries in peace. If you have friends, ask if they can drop off coffee. Good luck — having a baby doesn’t just change your life, it changes your relationships with everyone around you, too.
(Disclaimer: not a Mom myself, this comes second hand.) The best tip my sister ever got was to hire a babysitter- or cry until your sister comes over- one or two afternoons a week, just for an hour or two. You don’t even need to leave the house. Go sleep, do a load of laundry, write a couple of posts, chew your food. Not everyone has that luxury, but it’s something to think about.
Also, be really glad that, even though you’re going potty in a hurry, you’re still able to do that by yourself. I’m just the aunt, but it seems like I’ve spent the last 21 years explaining to a short person why they can’t eat soap.
Agreed with so much of this. I had a newborn abs finished my dissertation, and boy were there days — months — when I thought it would never happen. I laughed at your comment about doing everything fast. I never appreciated or made the best use of time before like I do now!! Three things stand out here to me: El Hub, babysitting help, and interns. You’re on matenity leave now, so it makes sense for you to do 90% of the parenting. And let’s face it, you’re the mom, so you’ll always do the majority. That’s not a bad thing. But you two can sit down (or lay down, or collapse together) now and acknowledge how things can and should change when you both work full time. Pinning down exactly what more he can and should do is key. Babysitters: I shared a sitter with a friend. It wasn’t inherently reliable and plans changed. A lot. Be realistic and understand no one is going to value and care for your child like you do, but this doesn’t mean good help isn’t available. It’s a lot easier when you are in the next room. At various points I got personal recommendations, did interviews, hired a friend’s daughter, but always had someone come the same hours every weekday. Just 2-3 hours makes a huge difference for you and takes a burden off El Hub, too, so you’re happy and feel supported when he comes home (instead of collapsing on him and crying at the door… Which might still happen on occasion!!). You can time it so she naps and then the sitter comes, so you get 3-4 hours in a row. If the sitter is willing to do a load of laundry or dishes, even better. Finally, interns: they’ve been great! And how many did you have apply, like over 100?? Hire more! Have a year-round intern program. Maybe 1 or 2 always on staff. It’s obviously a mutual benefit! They love it, you love it, we love it! If you can work full time but post 75%, that would take the edge off. And you’d get to continue nurturing younger women and cement your reputation as beauty blog maven and legend. 🙂 Keep it up, she’s beyond adorable and worth every moment!!
Maybe have a look through this blog: http://www.theuphill.com , it is run by a beauty blogger who had a baby recently and some posts deal with what she found difficult and the comments are full of ideas. It might help!
First of all, your baby girl is the cutest I’ve ever seen, and I had 2 myself.
And the other thing, full-time blogging from home, forget about it or at least downscale your expectations and number of posts.
There will be days when you can get a lot of work done, especially now when she is still a baby. But the difficult times come (in my experience) when they are 9 – 18 months. Then they want to do all kind of stuff which they are physically totally not capable of doing. And then they become frustrated! And they need someone to take out on. Which is most probably you, since you are always around.
In my opinion you will need a baby-sitter if you want to work from home.
Mine is almost two now, and I work from home as well (freelance artist). My perspective is that you really have to give yourself those first 6 months to just readjust to a new way of life. On my end, I kept holding myself to this ridiculous standard of getting x amount of work done per day, when my baby was too young to even be on a predictable schedule. So every time she woke up unexpectedly from a nap, I’d feel defeated for not having gotten enough done in the time I had. It can really start to make you feel frustrated with your own inability.
That being said, after about 6 months, she really leveled off into a very predictable food-sleep schedule, and it made it much easier to start working reliably. I realized then that for the next baby, I’d just have to accept those first few months as an adjustment period, and not be too hard on myself.
Pro tip! When they transition from three naps to two, then to one, expect a chaotic schedule again for the week to two that it takes to make the transition. Mine is on one reliable 2.5-3 hour nap now, and what’s when I get my work done. (plus evenings)
Good luck Karen– she is an absolute doll!
Hi Karen!
I had my daughter on March 26 and I can totally relate. I thought she would “sleep all day” like everyone told me but I swear the minute I shower, start to eat, put on a shirt haha (nursing you mostly feel like you’re on National Geographic because lets be real-you’re always topless! Lol) she starts to cry or gets fussy and needs to be fed. Those small time Windows can be frustrating. Some good advice I got is anything I can do such as paying bills, thank you cards etc, while nursing or holding her I should keep in a basket nearby and work on while she’s sleeping. I also has to start showering at night while my husband holds her so I can get enough entire shower in at some point during the day! Good luck. All of us in the same boat need to support each other!
Karen,
You’re doing great.
You’re getting lots of good advice.
So I’m not going to focus on the details, but just say that the two most important things are to have faith in yourself, and in life — no matter what happens, *something* will work out, and you will find that something — and be as flexible and open to new ideas as possible.
In the twenty-five years since my son was conceived and I decided to go ahead and have and raise him on my own, an amazing number of things have gone wrong, starting with my pregnancy problems and his premature birth. The number of illnesses he had, diagnostic procedures he went through, the number of machines in the apartment with us, the fact that everyone was too scared of the medical problems and machines to babysit (it was pretty amazing that there was a day care center close to me that was owned and run by an RN). The unexpected learning disabilities. The ADHHHHHD, the anxiety and OCD tendencies that caused other problems in school. Then I started getting sick: the renal artery disease that almost killed me and put me in the angioplasty suite for 12 hours when I was only 41… the lack of complete recovery from that, the chronic fatigue syndrome… his crippling migraines that kept him from going to school for five years in late elementary school/middle school, the homeschooling and homebound teachers… my two cancers… the resulting shoulder and leg problems/excruciating pain… the spinal arthritis… his determination to go away to college and subsequent emotional collapse… the deep worry of living with an unlaunched twenty-five-year-old… and it’s still the best and most important thing I’ve ever done, and I wouldn’t change a minute of it. Now I’m going back to school to launch my second (third? fourth?) career as an esthetician/makeup artist, even if I can only manage a part-time career, and hoping my example will give him some renewed confidence in himself.
But my story is pretty extreme! The main reason why I put it here is to say that you never know what will happen, sometimes you gotta roll with whatever life dishes out, and I remember when I worried that we’d be living in the projects and end up victims of some horrible crime, so I guess the one thing I would change if I could is to tell my younger self not to worry so much. Something will work out, and you will find a way. You’re a smart cookie! As much as you can, relax and enjoy this special time with Connor Claire; it’s only here once, and it’s over before you know it 🙂
It’s hard. Really hard. I was finishing my bachelors when my son decided to come a few weeks early. What I found was helpful, besides the inconstant nap times, is I would type on my laptop while nursing. I spend so much time nursing that I decided to use that time. Also, with my daughter, I used the swing. I was teacher when I had her and used nursing and time in the swing to make my sub plans. A routine is great. The Happiest Baby on the Block book saved my ass. Now remind me I said all this on two months when my #4 is here. I will forget it all then and go into panic mode…!
Hi Karen,
Even though I haven’t had kids yet, but I do understand the situation. It’s much like when I used to work an corporate job, things just get out of hands quickly if I didn’t plan them ahead.
So my advice is to minimalize your working lists to the essential ones. The only things that matter the most. And once you have the list, start planning today what you should do for those tasks tomorrow.
And when you have time, start working on your list one task at a time.
That way, things would move smoother I think.
Hope that helps.
Rebecca.
Hey girl….. I had to, had to … reply. You fully well know I support you in spirit and heart- wholeheartedly! You are in my prayers… and you get your dose of blessings and favor straight from the Father above!!! I feel your struggle, and I totally validate it Karen – and I’m so proud of you, for ALL that you’ve accomplished. YOU ROCK. You, my friend are doing a FABULOUS job! Honey, life is a series of hills and valleys – things work out and we struggle, that’s just life Karen. Keep your spirits up, even with a low mood, forge ahead, despite your circumstances – because you are so blessed girl. You have a beautiful life, a life to be immensely grateful for, no matter what. I find that for me, when I keep an attitude of gratitude, life just seems to be easier to persevere. You can/are doing it. Major cushy, KUDO’S and kitty kisses (well from Tabs….) to you!!!!
Love Gina and Gracie.
Thanks, Gina, for the pep talk. I’m trying to focus on the positive and enjoy this time in life. 🙂 I hope you and Gracie are feeling happy and healthy today!