I recently read an article on how Instagram, Snapchat and the photos editing apps a lot of people use with them have led to more and more teens comparing themselves to unrealistic beauty standards (and in some cases even to kids developing body dysmorphic disorder).
My first thought after reading the story was “DUUUUUDE, it’s not just teens!” As much as I like browsing Instagram for inspiration and, honestly, the cats, sometimes it does a number on me. I like to think that I’m a woman who loves herself and has a healthy degree of self-esteem, but still — there have been moments when I’ve scrolled through my feed and felt “less than.”
Yes, I know that people curate their feeds and only share what they want to share, so it isn’t a 1:1 representation of someone’s real life (just the real life they want the world to see), but sometimes all of that perfection still makes me feel like I can’t get my life together, or like I’m too old or too chunky or too sloppy or just not nearly wealthy enough (does everyone wear Gucci belts and have white couches and prepare dinner in kitchens with Calacatta marble counters?).
Maybe I need to work on toughening up my mental armor and lightening-the-heck-up (side note: CHILL THE EFF OUT, KAREN).
On the flip side, Instagram can also be a source of unexpected strength for me, like when I see a cute picture of someone’s cat or kid, or when I read a sweet story about something nice that happened to someone, or come across an inspiring quote that re-frames my perspective.
Anyway, I’m curious. Has social media changed the way you see yourself? Oh, and if you want, you can go anonymous on this. I totally get it.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
I feel the same way! I have the same love/hate relationship with social media. Because everything is so curated, I feel so sloppy by comparison. I keep seeing pictures of pristine kitchens, just-from-the-salon hair, matching Mommy-and-baby jammies and perfectly coordinated nurseries while my baby’s crap is all over the place, he’s wearing a crazy outfit because that’s what is clean and I haven’t been able to take a shower yet. I just have to remember if things are too much – to put down my phone. Also kind of helps to think of all the stuff that Instagram influencers have to do to get that perfect picture – shove items out of the frame, stand on chairs, contort their bodies to show off a certain product. It looks crazy behind the scenes.
I like to think I’m above the subtle self-depreciating mess that is social media, and I’m fairly mentally tough, but at the same time … I loathe any time some ‘fitness guru’ or $#%@#& ‘life coach’ follows my instagram. Just, all the groans. Or some model photographer follows me and their feed is just a bunch of skinny tanned models in bikinis standing by some body of water. Like, it literally angers me. I don’t try to be offended by it, but the whole premise of both those things irritate the fork out of me. I’m very blessed in the looks department and can maintain a thinner physique, but I still hate the idea that there is one way we should all look and exist to be valued. Blech.
As for all the makeup posts, they just make me cringe. No one should ever look that perfect and assembled. It doesn’t bother me on a self serving level, but rather, I wish we would embrace our natural looks rather than adapting ourselves to this robotic version of our faces. I love having fun with makeup, but I don’t want to literally change the aerial view of my face.
Miki, I totally agree with you about the makeup. I don’t even think it’s pretty. It looks like these young women put on a mask, layers of foundation, concealer, contouring, everything having to look so perfect that it looks perfectly fake. I don’t think it’s pretty or flattering at all to load all that stuff onto your face. I used to model and even then I never wore all that stuff.
Definitely positives & negatives to social media. I just think as adults we can better understand what’s real and what’s not; it is a curation of life, just as you say. But I think for younger people & teenagers, it must be particularly difficult to gauge those differences. Did you hear about the CVS Beauty Mark initiative? They’re going 100% unaltered with their beauty imagery by 2020; a lot of their brand partners are following suit, like Neutrogena & Revlon. So interesting changes are afoot!
I deliberately avoid social media. I never got on Facebook or Instagram and don’t intend do. I lived my life quite happily without it for years before it became a “must have” and personally have less than no interest in it now.
I think I avoid it for that very reason. I don’t like Facebook and I only follow about three people on Instagram. I want to feel better after being online, not worse.
I love being able to use social media to keep in contact with people I don’t see often enough, but there’s a lot of problematic aspects, like you say. I was early into things like LiveJournal, MySpace, message boards.
I get really annoyed with all the pseudo-inspirational stuff and hypocrisy. I think social media can be an enormous tool for good – we see things and movements happening around the world that we might not have been able to see in the past, we can connect around the world more easily, but it can be a tool for society’s ills as well.
Those Gucci belts are terrible!
I don’t mind them so much but dang does everyone have one? I mean half the time I can’t even find pants. lol
I’m almost never on social media, which I’m not implying makes me above it or anything. I just don’t have a ton of interest in the lives of strangers. I mean, I wish them all well and hope people are happy and healthy. But I feel blessed and grateful for my life and can’t imagine anyone having a better one (regardless of money or possessions, etc), so I’m not looking for inspiration. I think that’s what also makes me a very bad window shopper, and also maybe it shows a lack of ambition. I’m not really into more or new or trends. As you know, I tend to find something I like and stay with it forever. 🙂 All that just to say I’m not qualified to comment on social media. HAHA!
I consider myself someone with a healthy dose of self esteem too, but certainly social media has changed the way I feel about myself. I am a little worried about my daughter, curently 5 years old and blissfully unaware of the pressure of social media – How will it be growing up like that? I only had magazines to compare myself to back then, how much harder must it be right now?
I think the media in general affects me. I think I have been influenced to think that the only “right” way to look is to be thin, beautiful, and appear to be under 30. It os a shame , because I am neither thin nor under 30! I end up feeling ashamed about my age. Another idea I have gotten into my head thanks to media is the idea (which only applies to women) that aging is somehow preventable, so if you have signs of it, you have “failed” and deserve scorn. These ideas are so unfair and ridiculous, but also difficult to unbelieve!