I’ve had “mom hair” on my mind lately — pretty much ever since I saw this Saturday Night Live skit a couple weeks ago (thanks for sending it, Jen!).
Haven’t laughed that hard in ages. ?
When I think of “mom hair,” I think of my mom and the moms of my friends in the 80s, many of whom had some iteration of Princess Diana’s short hair style.
Seems like the current version is shorter on the sides, but with smooth, severe bangs and spiky knives in the back.
Even though I don’t think I’ve had a trademark mom hair style yet (at least I can’t remember), because I really like being able to just put my hair up into a ponytail, this skit still totally resonates with me.
Oh, my gosh! — that part when one of the ladies talks about waking up after a fugue state at HomeGoods and finding a rustic sign in her hands that says “HOME” but not knowing how it got there? Or getting the sudden urge to turn your bathroom into the beach?
BEEN THERE. DONE THAT.
I’ve also had mom hair on my mind lately because of this post on Racked about mom haircuts and sexuality.
Here’s an excerpt:
“Having mom hair implies that your hair and appearance are not your main focus (the correct value, per society) because your children are. You don’t care what you look like; you only care about your family. Hair is an afterthought that should be easy and practical. Despite the fact that we approve of this so-called value in moms, we still mock them for it, because moms really do have to have it all. Sex, sure, but not too much, do not admit to liking it, and definitely don’t advertise it on your head, for god’s sake. Be practical, but also have a sense of style — to a point, otherwise it’s vain. Be spontaneous, but don’t go nuts with that, okay? Do not waste 45 minutes putting your long hair into a complicated fishtail braid. You have to get your kid to soccer practice on time.”
I’ve never read into the symbolism of the mom cut that deeply before, because I’ve always just assumed that cutting one’s hair shortly after having a kid was mostly for practical reasons, but this was eye-opening!
How about you? Have you ever had a mom cut? Would you ever rock one?
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
The only reason why I would probably cut my hair off after having a baby was to dal with the post part hair loss. I left my hair long after both kids and to be honest I think that is the most practical and easy hair style ever. Just put it back and you are good to go.
Yes! Messy buns for life.
Haha, I have a mom cut but I have an excuse- I’m 62. My hair was short when my first son was born and after that I grew it long because I didn’t have time to fuss with it. It got to several inches below my shoulders and was so easy just to pull back. But when my kids got older, I got bored and cut it a little shorter. Then a little shorter. Mine isn’t quite as short as the women in the skit, and I’d like to grow it longer but at my age, it just doesn’t seem to grow. I keep waiting… then I get frustrated and get it cut again. Oh well.
Hi Joyce,
I totally get that. I had my hair short years ago (early 2000s), and it took forever to grow it out. The hardest part was feeling it scratch the back of my neck. The minute I could feel the ends tickling the back of my neck, I’d get it chopped again.
How many kids do you have?
No, I have never had a mom haircut . If i were a mom , I would just bun up my hair would probably is equivalent of a mom haircut cause it says i dont give a what. lol.
my mom had what i called a rooster cut , which is fluffy at the top and a tapered cut the bottom. I guess the black version of the mom haircut but instead of Princess Diana, think halle berry
I think I possibly have a mom cut now. It’s a short bob with side swept bangs and light highlights for the summer. But after reading that analysis, I feel mad about how people shame ‘mom hair’! If anyone says anything about my mom hair, I will smack them down with this ammo.
This also brings to mind the term ‘dad bod’. Can we stop shaming dads who are dads and doing their appropriate dad duties and have little/no time to meal plan and hang out at the gym 24/7 working on their core? Sheesh.
Um, except for the “smooth bangs” part, I think I currently have a mom cut. It’s short and I just mess it up with wax so it stands out and looks puffy. I’ve had it like this for years and years now and I get compliements on it ALL the time. Go figure.
I just became a mom 4 months ago but I’ve got short hair that I’m trying to grow my hair out. It’s short enough for the messy bun (and “getting things done”).
I love, love, love that you’ve featured a post around that skit and the question of mom hair.
I did for a time, when my son was younger, have mom hair. I tried to tell myself it was cute and sassy but really, it was so mom hair. Why is hair so emotional?
But, now that I’m precariously close to 50 and my son is a teenager, I’m letting my hair grow long–long for me anyway. It grazes my shoulders and has a few choppy layers to keep it manageable. I’m going to let it grow an inch or two longer.
Now that my son is in high school and can feed and dress himself and spends a lot of time with friends. I have empty hours to fill. So, I condition and deep condition and mask and all the other things.
It never ceases to amaze me how hair can make a woman more beautiful.
I always notice when a new mom who previously had long locks gets the post-baby crop. It makes me happy in a way to know that she’s taking control of what she needs to do for herself in this season.
But the mom cut also makes me sad because I know how that haircut feels, the work and the sleepless baby nights behind it.
I love that you’ve got essentially the same hair since you’ve had Miss Connor!
I’ve always been lazy about hair but this current iteration of mom hair is pretty high maintenance! Having it longer that you can literally do nothing to and don’t need regular haircuts, that’s more my jam. ? I’ve had angled bobs with it stacked in the back which has been a mom haircut at one time or the other. It all feels pretty arbitrary.
Yes! That’s another thing about long hair — you don’t have to get it cut every five minutes, LOL! When I had a short bob in the early 2000s (now that I think about it, it kinda looks like this mom cut), I felt like I was always at the salon getting a trim. I was never NOT there.
I cut it above my shoulders once when the kids were young, but it was more work that way. ? it’s been long ever since.
Hi Lisa,
I feel you! Short hair is high maintenance for me, too!
How many kids do you have, and how old are they?
Just 2, a late teen and early 20s.
Oh, so your babies are grown! Do they still live with you? I still can’t believe that one day Connor will be a full-on woman and will leave home. It seems so far away, but the time is going by so fast, you know?
Yes, they do, but I got another dog last year just in case they move out, lol. As they say, the days are long, but the years are short.
I’ll probably do the same, but with kitties. 🙂
I am not a mom but I’ve kept my hair pretty short for a few years and I quit the dye. It’s a lob, but I always request her to do it really short and with some additional layers for volume because my hair is really flat. I love it for easy curls and a simple side braid to keep it out of my eyes, but it’s kind of a PITA to put it entirely up since the back is so short. Gotta take the good with the bad.
Hi Savannah,
Off topic, but I know you love wearing MAC neutral eyeshadows and I’m wearing one of my faves today, Bronze. Have you tried it?
These remind me of the “I want to talk to the manager” hair cut worn by annoying customers, LOL.
My mom had really long hair when I was little – waist length or longer. But even then, she didn’t spend a ton of time on it. She’s had short hair, shoulder length…
I don’t have kids and I spend very little time on my relatively long hair because I’d rather sleep – I will say that I’m pretty lucky that my hair is pretty easily manageable, especially since I got a microfiber hair towel (game changer!)
This is interesting because my mom decided to let her hair grow after both my sister and I told her that women with shorter hair look older after certain age.
And now I’m not sure if we think that because of mom hair, because most Alison’s friends’ mother’s don’t have mom cuts and are younger than my mom.
I know she cut her hair short after Alisson was born but I think the main reason she did it was because my dad told her she look better with short hair.
Karen, I love your blog, but this post makes me grumpy. Is short hair code for mom hair? Because that’s where these conversations always veer. Good for you that you have long, thick hair. I have fine hair and I happen to look and feel better with a short bob. But, to your question, why would anyone willingly rock spiky “mom hair” when we know it’s bad?
Hi Amanda,
Aww, I’m sorry to hear that. It wasn’t my intention to bring you down in any way. I think short hair is beautiful — I’ve had short hair myself in the past (like, LEGIT SHORT, so that the back of my neck and ears were exposed) and loved it. I was literally in the salon every three weeks and paid a small fortune to get it trimmed regularly, but I loved it. I think “mom hair” is more about style that’s supposed to be low-maintenance. For me low-maintenance happens to longer hair that I can throw into ponytail or a messy bun. Anyway, I know what’s fashionable is always subject to the person rocking the ‘do, and I’m sure there are people out there who love the spikes in the back. I kind of love that it’s unintentionally punk rock?!
Oh, gosh, no. I look awful with short hair. But if I didn’t, I’d probably have it short just because it’s less maintenance. I actually didn’t know Mom Hair was a thing and when I read the headline, I was like “it’s probably MY haircut!”. It’s a bit disheartening to think that people are actually judging moms on their hair but it also kind of makes me laugh. Like, if you have enough time on your hands to worry about MY hair, you should definitely put your kid in soccer. And start coaching the team. Better yet, be a hockey parent. HAHA!
there are only 7 bags in the country
that’s funny
I do that