A few years ago I worked in the legal field, and that’s where I met my good friend Naaman. Besides being the only straight guy I know who can tell the difference between squirrel hair and synthetic brushes (his girl is a makeup artist), he was/is a great break buddy. He and I would go on break together practically every day, and over time we came up with this game called YOU MUST CHOOSE.
The object of YOU MUST CHOOSE is to give the other person a scenario with two options, both which are disgusting/impossible/just really wrong, and they have to pick one. For example – would you rather: lose your left eye permanently and have to wear an eye patch for the rest of your life with a pirate scull and cross bones on it OR have two years of intense and painful butt pimples (both cheeks) but still retain your vision? YOU MUST CHOOSE.
It sounds simple, but honestly, you kill a lot of time, exercise your imagination (a skill hardly required in the field of professional legal lackey), and torture your good friend all in one swoop!
So when I was watching The Hills on Monday night, all of the sudden I thought:
Who would you rather be your baby daddy (and you can’t do it through in vitro) –
Disgusting, manipulative, neanderthal-esque Spencer Pratt?
Or bloated, bar fight-prone, fresh-out-of-rehab Jason Wahler?
YOU MUST CHOOSE.
Both options completely disgust me, but I’d have to go with Jason based on genetics and finances.
While I’m pretty sure Spencer is missing a chromosome or two, I’m almost positive that Jason is standard issue homo sapien. Jason also played sports waaaay back in the day (remember the innocent days of Laguna Beach?) so the baby would have a fighting chance to become an athlete, and thus could grow up to eventually kick @ss.
Chances are Jason will probably discover Jeebus or somethin’ while he’s in rehab, so he’ll be all about forgiveness, love thy neighbor, save the whales and whatnot. And should sh*t hit the fan, you know the boy won’t have any problems paying child support, because his family is loaded!
Who would you pick and why?
YOU MUST CHOOSE: The Makeup and Beauty Blog Edition
Now that you’ve had your intro to YOU MUST CHOOSE you’re ready to take it to the next level.
Please leave your answers in the comments. 🙂
Scenario 1
Which would you rather give up for the rest of your natural life – your 266 (or your favorite brow implement of choice) OR your beloved Shu/MAC/whatever brand eyelash curler? YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Scenario 2
You are forced onto a desert island by Christian Bale and he says that you can bring only three makeup/beauty products. Which ones would you take with you to paradise and why? YOU MUST CHOOSE.
Scenario 3
Would you rather give up lipgloss and lipstick for the rest of your life OR have a set of really, really, really yellow teeth (which you can’t get whitened) for the rest of your life? YOU MUST CHOOSE.
Scenario 4
Either give up using brushes OR using mascara. YOU MUST CHOOSE.
(seriously, this one would make me cry)
Can’t wait to see what y’all cook up!
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
1) 266, easy! I never use a curler 🙁 I’m too lazy.
2) Suntan lotion, mascara, and lip balm. Hello, beach? Bale? Deserted? What other option does he have? 😉
3) Give up lipstick/lipgloss. If it was just a little yellow, maybe I could take it, a lot, no!
4) Mascara over brushes… only because you can use sponges or fingers still!
1. the brush, i just started filling in my brows so I could forget about it. The eyelashes are a different matter!
2. lip balm, face wash(can’t stand a dirty face), lotion/sunscreen
3. Lip gloss/lipstick, yellow teeth are not an option!
4. Mascara fo sho! I look dead without mascara!
I can’t staaand Spencer Pratt. I want to squish his little head! He’s the most insecure, manipulative person on reality television, and that’s saying A LOT!
hmmm you got some good ones, id give up my eyelash curler over my eyebrow brush, 3 products would be lipgloss, one of my mac palettes, and mascara, id give up lipstick or lipgloss (i love chapstick), and as for the last one…id give up brushes because I am good at using my fingers or a Q-tip! 🙂
Hi Christine! I can’t believe you don’t curl your lashes – lucky! And that suntan lotion better have some spf, girlfriend!
Heya Andrea. I can’t stand having a dirty face either – do you have a fav face wash?
I so feel you about looking dead without curled/mascara. I’m a zombie without my lash curler!
BLUE! Please share with the class your extensive psychological breakdown of Spencer Puke Pratt!
We’re all waiting…
Yay, hi Vanessa! Nice to see you here (and I hope you’re feeling all better.)
I need to get better at improvising with fingers and Q-tips…I’m really useless without my brushes.
Which colors do you have in your MAC palette?
Well, lets see…
First I’ll choose my curler! I don’t usually do my brows but I always curl my lashes.
Second, colored lip balm, tinted moisturizer with SPF and black eyeliner pencil! (I don’t like Bale, but I do like deserted beaches!Ya~y!)
Third, I’m sorry but i would choose white teeth…That would be hard but I think I could make some tricks with lip liner! (insert evil laugh here)
I’d rather keeping my mascara. I’m not that bad with my fingers!!(^-^)
Hehehe, this was fun.
Uh, I forgot the guys, but I don’t know any of them! (O.o)The second one is better looking, isn’t him? I suppose that would be the one… (feeling quite strange while writing this)
Hi Erusa! There seems to be lots of gals out there who are good at applying makeup without brushes! Ya’ll need to give me some tips! And good call on the lip liner…I didn’t forsee that loophole =)
As for the guys, they are both from a reality TV show here in the US called “The Hills,” which is my favorite guilty pleasure TV show!
Nice to see you here again!
Okay …
1) I’d give up the lash curler. I hardly ever do it and, if I needed curlier lashes, I’d just buy a mascara that curls.
2) Sunscreen, Rosebud Salve and a CARGO BeachBlush. Gotta keep the skin healthy, can’t have dry lips (freaks me out!) and the BeachBlush works as bronzer and blush.
3) I would give up the gloss/lipstick. Having yellow teeth is foul and not to be borne.
4) I would give up mascara. You can make your lashes look a bit thicker with liner smudged into the lashline and you can make them look shiny and healthy with a thin layer of Vaseline.
Hey Karen! I currently use Neutrogena Deap Clean Facial Cleanser. I am needing something however to help out with the occasional breakout. My problem area is my mouth/chin and I hate it! I think I am going to try the Neutrogena Pore Refining Toner and try to find the Queen Helen Mint Julep Masque. We will see!
Great Blog! Love it!
P.S. Spencer Pratt makes me puke in my mouth a little.
Hey Karen! I currently use Neutrogena Deap Clean Facial Cleanser. I am needing something however to help out with the occasional breakout. My problem area is my mouth/chin and I hate it! I think I am going to try the Neutrogena Pore Refining Toner and try to find the Queen Helen Mint Julep Masque. We will see!
Great Blog! Love it!
P.S. Spencer Pratt makes me want to puke in my mouth a little.
Hi Andrea…I love Neutrogena products, especially their cleansers. I just finished a tube of “Visibly Even” and right now I’m using Fresh Foaming Cleanser in the blue bottle. It takes EVERYTHING off.
When I used to use MAC Studio Fix I had really bad chin/mouth breakouts, too. The only thing that helped (and this surprise the heck out of me) was Proactiv.
Pore refining Toner is pretty good but I get lazy about putting it on. And you can’t beat the Mint Julep Masque. So cheap, and it sucks everything out. I find though that I have to do it either once every two weeks, otherwise my skin gets dry.
And I’m so glad you like the blog. I work really hard on it and I enjoy doing it so that really means a lot to me. Feel free to pass it onto your friends, yay!
P.S. Spencer makes me want to puke in my mouth too. Did you see last Monday’s episode? I can’t believe Heidi!
Hi Toya! Good call on the improv mascara w/liner and vaseline. I haven’t tried Cargo beach blush. I just took a look at them and they look really pretty. What is your favorite color?
I’ve found Echo Beach and Coral Beach are my faves – they look the best on us brown girls. Love ’em!
Heidi = evil
1.) Eeeewww!! Jason.
2.) 266; rarely curl lashes.
3.) Suntan lotion, mascara, Dr Hauschka lip balm.
4.) ARGH! This one HURTS! But I’d give up the lipgloss/stick.
5.) Mascara. I love my brushes but I have blonde hair and look like embryo without mascara
Oh boy Toya, I will have to put *both* on my ever-growing blush list. I am a sucker for blushes (especially beachy ones) and I fear that I will fall in love love love with these! AHHHH!
Andrea, I totally agree. I felt so terrible for Elodie, who was always so supportive and tactful with Heidi. I hope Elodie really gives it to her next week.
Have you heard Heidi’s song where Spencer “raps”? LOLOLOL…
Ha ha ha, Molly, doesn’t the Spencer v. Jason choice kill you? It’s just grossness all around! God I love this game.
And I probably couldn’t deal with the yellow teeth, either…
I totally agree, I hate Spencer over Jason, ugh
hey I love MAC – I know, right? They are both so gross but the lesser of the grossness is Jason, UGH!
1. I would give up the 266 as i cant live without my eyelash curler.
2. Only 3???!!! Aghh!! It would have to be SPF, Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream and Mascara.
3. You said i couldn’t get the teeth whitened so I would have the yellow teeth and then get all new veneers. I’d rather go through that short term pain of getting veneers than the long term pain of losing lipgloss and lipstick forever. 🙂
4. Definetely mascara. I have the tiniest eyelashes. I do love my eyeshadow/liner/lip brushes but there has been so many times i’ve misplaced them and found another item to use for that job. Also i try using a foundation brush but due to my crap application skills it always looks rubbish so I end up going over it with a sponge anyway.
Oh and i would choose Jason. Both i cant stand but your reasons are the same as mine. Also if CB gave me the option of going on the island or staying here then i would choose the latter. There is plenty of cute guys who aren’t going to make me give up everything 🙂