I left this place with cat hair all over my stretchy pants (the first time this has happened in ages), and I wasn’t even mad about it.
The Kitty Corner adoption center is run by the Marin Humane Society. It’s located in the town of San Anselmo, which is a few towns south of us. We went last weekend on a whim.
Quite a few friends have told me that they think it can be a good idea sometimes to adopt a new kitty shortly after losing one. I don’t feel remotely ready for another feline friend yet, but I remember a piece of advice my wise old landlady gave me once about feeling ready for big things. She said, “You’re never going to feel ready.” This short and sweet sentence has proven to be true many times over in my life. I don’t know… I thought about it as I met a couple of the residents at Kitty Corner: a feisty black cat full of swagger named Espresso, and a gentle long-haired lovely named Sammie.
Both girls were super sweet — especially Espresso. Chatty and confident, she has what one of the adoption counselors call “a smoker’s meow.” She throws her whole body into her kitty hugs, too, which is why I ended up with hairy pants.
I could kindasorta see Espresso fitting into our family, but I didn’t feel an undeniable sense that she was my cat.
It was only when we’d left that I realized that part of me had hoped we’d walk into Kitty Corner as a family of three and leave as a family of four. It was an “Aha” moment. There’s room in our family and love in our hearts to share with another cat, and when we find her (or him), we’ll know.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
That’s so great Karen! As hard as it is to lose an animal that has been a part of your family, it’s always fun to adopt another one!
Perhaps a visit to the Lanai Cat Sanctuary is in order? 600 adorable adoptable cats all hanging out in paradise is an amazing experience. Plus, Hawaii!
It is hard to let something so precious go when it has been there for you for many years! I am pretty sure there is a song that says “ you only miss the sun when it starts to snow” which basically just says you don’t want and or need something until you can’t have it! I think we should have someone or something like Karen had Tabs!
Good for you Karen, it’s a first step. We’ve lost 3 kitties and adopted new ones within a couple months. You won’t stop missing Tabs but it might fill a little of that hole in your heart. Hope you find just the right kitty for you.
It’s hard because you will feel guilt at even thinking of bring another cat into your home but I think Tabs would be smiling down at you if you saved another life! You’re an awesome cat mom and Tabs will forever live in you! ? too bad you don’t live closer or I’d bring my meower over for the night so I could get some rest! My gosh it’s like having a new baby, I’m up all night with the meowing for kitty treats?
I am sure Tabs would want to complete the family again, but you are right not to rush it. The right one will come and when you know, you know.
The last cat I adopted was a three year old black, pure bred Persian. I brought him home to be a companion to my little , three legged female. They were immediately best friends. He was sweet, very playful, friendly and very talkative. My little three legged female unfortunately passed away a year later. She was quickly replaced by a crazy orange kitten that found outside. She is a Hemingway cat. A very bossy girl with a tendency to bite. She and the Persian eventually became buddies. I left Miami in 2007 to help my mother and father in Tampa, FL. My black Persian, Sammie, glued himself to my father. And, my orange girl, Gina Pirana took a great interest in my mother. That love and interest is still present today. My cats have always selected me. I am open to any color. Although, my favorite is grey.. I think I get the cat I need, not necessarily the one I want. They have all given me something so very special. Every time I have lost one due to age or illness another piece of my heart is ripped away. When I am most sad and hopeless it does seem another fur baby comes into my life. All I can say to you, Karen, is, open your heart when you are truly ready. Tabs will send you what you need. And, he’ll be proud to see his family likes his choice. We are never truly ready but we fortunately have big hearts and a tremendous capacity to love. Just open you heart. ❤️
I went through the same thing. After five years of not having a cat – and I love, love, love cats, we were adopted by a stray. We had been feeding a feral gray cat for years so he was a bit of an attraction for other strays. On a rainy day, I looked out on the deck and there was a black cat with white paws. She pranced right into our house purring a mile a minute which shocked me as the gray cat would not let me near him. She looked like she was pregnant or had just given birth and since I never had a female cat, I wasn’t sure so off she went on a Monday to our vet. She was a very sick girl, virus, scratched nose, and a horrible scar down the side of her spine with a section not healed yet. We have no idea how she was injured. To make a long story short, we kept her. She had already had babies but because of the virus were probably already gone. She did not try to get out of the house to find them. So I guess what I am saying is that you never know when a lovely cat will decide to adopt you. I was absolutely not ready shortly after we had to put our Boomer down due to cancer. That is a very personal decision IMHO as to when you are ready to adopt again. You will absolutely know it. So sorry for your loss of Tabs. My heart went out to you. I read your blog every day but don’t comment much. Take care.
You’ll know. All of a sudden, you’ll know. ❣️
I feel you Karen!
We had our cat named Puma and she never came back home last year. I thought I would never have another cat because I felt guilty for letting her go out. A few possibilities for adoption showed up along last year including keeping my friend’s cat since she had to move back to Brasil, but I did not feel like she belonged to our house.
My husband and I truly love animals, and he does some side work with pet services to “supply” the love. Last December he had to take care of 10 animals in a house where half of them were for adoption, including a few kitties and a lovely young siamese. It was love at the first sight with the siamese, and even though we were warned that she did not like ladies (probably got beaten in her former house), she loved me since then and did not leave my side. After 2 weeks of taking care of the pets the foster parents were back, and we asked if we could adopt her. They said they were giving her to his cousins, so we ended up not staying with any kitties and traveled for Christmas thinking that it was not meant to be. It was of our surprise that he called us right after New Years to say that the cousins ended up taking one of the baby kittens, and if we wanted to adopt the siamese! We did not think twice and went for her as soon as we got back home.
Her name is Pilaf and she is the sweetest thing ever. She fit in our family as a glove and, honestly, she chose us and not the opposite. My Puma also chose us, she was in the streets and entered in my house the night I was moving to another one. As she refused to leave the indoors, we decided to take her in the moving truck with us hahaha.
Good luck and give some time for your family now, I am sure that something will show up 🙂
I’m so glad you were able to have some kitty time! As you know, we currently have 3 cats (since our Emma passed a couple of years ago). We’ve always gotten one at a time, as they needed homes. But if I were starting in a pet free home again, I would absolutely get 2 at the same time, preferably siblings. Our cats tolerate each other, mostly. But I know people who have siblings and they are best friends. There is something very sweet and comforting in that, especially since we’re away from home so much. Did I tell you that one of my friends just adopted a black stray kitten (about 6 months old)? Her 5 year old son was begging for a kitten for his birthday and she got a random call two days before that a friend of a friend had picked up a stray that needed a home. She thought that was a sign. Her son was so excited and grateful. He named her “Orange”, which we think is such a hoot. I think you’ll get your sign too. <3
Couldn’t agree more on adopting 2! I knew nothing of cats when my kids found a 4 week old in heat of one of the hottest summer days; it was on its last legs. I was a dog person that knew nothing of cats but I figured it out quickly (syringe feeding etc) & while looking to adopt it out, we grew very attached! So we kept her & she brings great love (turns out majority Maine Coon) Flash forward 3 years we find another kitten 6 weeks & take it in. It was pretty unsettling to our first (even taking a long slow 4 weeks leaning into introductions, etc) the kitten was a lot of bombarding the older while sleeping, taking things over, just a lot & while she was amazing to keep the first more active & in ways, has been great for her..I learned that if I ever knew someone considering a kitten, I’d suggest getting two at the same time for reasons you mentioned. And I think even 2 cats unrelated that get along well is a wonderful thing! Ours get along okay nowbut the older is still always hissing & they have their occasional scrambles where neither is harmed but they play hard & it’s not really because the older one WANTS to play? Cats bring incredible sheer joy & I felt such empathy & sadness when I ran onto this article & read about Karen losing her cat.? Karen, I’m hoping you will be able to move past the sadness swiftly & cherish all the memories with Tabs. I’m also wishing you well in choosing a new kitty..those are big ? to fill?
Aww, you’ll know when the time comes which kitty is the one for you. I felt the same way when my bunnies died.
I desperately want a cat, but I am so allergic to them. I keep trying and trying to visit them at humane societies, play with friends’ cats, play with the cats outside, but I am always left with a major reaction to them–it’s not a minor reaction either. It makes me so sad! All I can do is look enviously at other people and their cats. LOL!
Normally a lurker, but I have to say, good for you for trying, but not forcing yourself to adopt a new lurvey. You’ll know when the right one comes along – our lil ol’ tortie was at the local humane society, and we’d lost both our cats over a year earlier before we got her. We went when we did because DH just *knew* there was a kitty there for us – he has a really weirdly accurate sense of these things. And sure enough the ONLY kitten they had with Sofi – who literally leaped from the arms of the humane society lady into DH’s. 🙂 Sofi is going on…. 14 now? I think? but I’ll always want a kitty in my life, as hard as it is to lose one, they’re such good “people” to have around…
You’ll find the right one in the right time. I think such things are written in the stars. 🙂 Hugs to you!
Karen, I looked for months and months – actually giving some hope to the notion that my Mortimer would re-incarnate into a new kitten and come home to me again. When I finally decided that if that were true, I could still give a home to another cat just wanting to be loved, I adopted again. I don’t think Mortimer ever did show back up but I don’t wait very long anymore when a cat passes. I always try to think of the fact that there are some amazing kitties in shelters who have so much love to give and I have this vacancy in my home and a hole in my heart………
Just a thought but do you think that maybe you should get two cats this time? I’m saying that because this way it will feel like a different circumstance than having Tabs as an only cat. It also helps a little when one goes, you still have one to love on and hug and help comfort you.
The mere fact that you went to Kitty Corner to check out the cats is a really good sign that Tabs is working with you to bridge the sadness. You will never stop loving him but you know what? Tabs knows you were an amazing mom to him and he wants you to be happy again by being an amazing mom to another cat or cats.
Bless you.
Thank you, Pamela. You’re right, it might be a good idea to change the dynamic. El Hub had mentioned doing something similar. He suggested adopting female cat, one that looks nothing like Tabs, as a reminder that she’s her own kitty, and not a replacement for him. Two girls also might be a good idea. Or maybe I just fill this place up with every animal under the sun and have my home because a full-on zoo. (I can see it going either way, to be honest.)
A full-on zoo. I like your thinking! 🙂
That’s how my childhood home was. My dad grew up on a farm so there were always animals around. He was always bringing strays home. At one point we had a bunch of cats and kittens, a bird, some mice and a rabbit!
I have been reading about your situation with sympathy because I have a much-loved, 17 year old kitty who is slowing down a bit. I didn’t grow up with pets due to childhood allergies, but my daughter is a cat person and took her kitty with her when she left home and then has always had cats since she got married. My kitty was her cat’s sister and litter-mate and, contrary to what I’ve heard and read, they really didn’t like each other much. Even when my daughter and Tazzie moved back in with me, my kitty didn’t warm up – and we tried everything. We lost Tazzie about 2 years ago. I’m trying to give my girl “Static” all the love and attention I can (even more than usual). I’m sure you and your family will find the right family member or members when the time is right.
When my first dog died, it took me 5 years to feel “ready” to get another one, and once I did, I realized why so many people say it’s good to get another fairly soon after losing one. Having a new puppy to love didn’t diminish my love for my first dog, but it also cheered me up a lot to have a new puppy around, and I wasn’t crying when I went past the dog food aisle any longer. And since that learning experience, it’s only been life circumstances that kept me from getting a dog (or dogs) soon after losing the ones I had. I don’t think you ever lose your love and memories of any animals you love. It’s just that your heart expands and you find yourself able to love again.
I hope that’s the case, Kellly. I feel a better every day, but I still have that ache, you know? Like today, I’m home by myself while the baby is at preschool, and it feels so lonely. I’m thinking that maybe a couple cats (!) or maybe a cat/dog combo might be good. I dunno, we’ll see.
I was so happy to see this post and to know that your heart is feeling the tug to help another kitty. I volunteer with a rescue here in Atlanta and I am a huge fan of yours. I do think that paying it forward and helping another cat will help your heart heal. I also think you will know when you’ve found the right one. Something inside you will click and you will feel that sweet recognition. No one will ever replace Tabs. And that is okay. But, I know he would love knowing you have a sweet kitty friend who can help smooth out the edges of your grief. Keep looking. You’re doing great, Karen.
Thanks, Beth. I have to remind myself all the time that a new cat won’t replace him, and I told myself this over and over again while we met the kitties and I started tearing up.
What type of volunteer work do you do with the rescue center?
You are allowed to tear up, sister! Tabs was such a cool cat. He left some big old kitty shoes to fill! I am a volunteer for PAWS Atlanta — I walk the shelter dog guest and play with the kitties, who are grouped together in rooms. I also help run their Instagram account @pawsatlanta. You should drop in and say a virtual hello! I didn’t know much about cats until PAWS (and Tabs) — and, wow! They are the coolest creatures on the planet!
Like other people have said, you’ll know when you find the right one to love again. It will just feel “right” and that new love will help heal the hole left in your heart. My new little puppy was so cute and sweet and tiny and precious, I couldn’t help but love her.
When I adopted the first of my 2 dogs that I have now, I looked at 157 pictures on Petfinder and as soon as I saw her photo (and the devilish look in her little puppy eyes) I knew she was “the one”. Flew her all the way from Santa Rosa. It took 6 weeks and hundreds of dollars to organize everything, but she was “the one”. I just knew.
Don’t worry. You don’t have to rush anything. You’ll know when the time is right and the opportunity comes along. Sometimes you find them and sometimes they find you. You’ll know when it’s right. You’ll feel it.
Santa Rosa is just north me me. 🙂 About 30 minutes!
Thank you for reminding me to not worry. Things will fall into place, and Tabs and universe will send me another sweet kitty (or kitties) to love.
After I lost Tulip our house was really quiet even though I also had Jazmine. The kids were sad when we lost Tulip and I told them that Tulip knew there were other kitties in this world that needed someone to love them too and when she left this world she was happy that another kitty would have someone to love them as much as we loved her. I adopted Elvis from an organization called Mini Cat Town in San Jose. They are a rescue that specializes in neonatal kitties. They also have a cat named Rosie who is insta-famous because when she was a kitten she almost didn’t make it but was adopted by their husky Lilo who nursed her back to life and now they are the best of friends. They go on hiking trips together and do everything together – you should check out their instragram -lilothehusky. Mini Cat Town has an amazing kitten room and they have a new facility opening. You can see their kittens on instagram (@minicattown). Once you meet the one — you will know that Tabs sent him/her to you
Say a little prayer and ask Tabs to send you the right cat/kitten? Tat’s what I did and it worked very well.
Personally, I love all cats but I do find male ones to be more loving and affectionate.
I’m so glad you’re taking the next step! There are so many sweet kitties out there that could use your love and care. The last time we lost a kitty we forced ourselves to wait over a year before getting any more pets and it was the loneliest year and 1/2 we’ve ever had. I just hate we did that when we were truly ready sooner! It’s just me & my husband and now a cat and a dog (who are besties from the first time they met)! Praying you’ll soon get a sign from Tabs- keep us posted! <3
You are so brave, Karen. <3 I admire you so much for taking this first step! Even though I lost my Salem back in February, I cannot even be around other cats right now – it is still way too painful for me. The thought of adopting another cat (or cats because I plan to get two siblings) seems so, so far away for me right now. If I cannot even handle being around a family member’s cat, I think going into a shelter and even trying to think about adopting another of my own right now would break me. But like you have had someone tell you, I’ve also had people tell me I will never be “ready”… and I have also heard from so many pet owners recovering from their own loss say that they waited so long, thinking they needed so much time when really, they didn’t. They’ve told me the best thing I can do is offer all this love to another cat or cats in need, and I do believe that. I am just so broken and so depressed and I do not want to be broken and depressed for my next set of cats. You know? I guess all we can do is push ourselves. I am sure Tabs will give you a sign! Best of luck to you and your family, Karen. I hope you know when the time is right and that it feels right for you soon.