I know that you know a lot about Tabs through his modeling, philanthropy and other endeavors — his fabulous life — but here’s a look behind the glam at what it’s really like to live with Tabs on a day-to-day basis.
I worry sometimes that he’s older than I always thought he was
I mentally prepare myself — scratch that. I keep trying to mentally prepare myself for the day when I wake up, and I don’t have Tabs there to greet me.
I can’t even handle the thought… It makes me so sad. 🙁
A few months ago, we took him to the vet for his regular checkup, and the vet said, “I think he may be a little older than we initially thought he was…” His eyes aren’t as bright as they once were, and he’s starting to slow down. He’s also getting ornerier, and he sleeps more during the day.
I worry that I might not have the time I thought I’d have with him, and I know that seems very greedy of me and self-centered, but I can’t help it. I just want my companion to live forever.
I think about collecting his whiskers…
A couple weeks ago I found one of his little whiskers — I call ’em little whiskees — while cleaning the living room, and his whiskees are interesting in that they aren’t all white. Some of them are black, and some of them are black with little sections of white.
I picked it up, and I walked up to El Hub and asked, “Do you think it would be too crazy cat lady if I saved all of Tabs’s whiskees?” because I’d been thinking about how when he finally goes to cross the rainbow bridge, I won’t have anything of his with me, and El Hub said, “Yes, that would be very crazy cat lady of you.”
So I threw it out…but you know what? I’m gonna start collecting his whiskees anyway, and then when he finally goes away, I’m probably going to spread his ashes on the hill behind us, because he loves being outside.
I feel guilty sometimes when I see outdoor kitties lounging around
Oh, Tabby, I wish you could be the outside cat that I know you see yourself as, always running around, chasing things and lounging about.
When I see kitties outside, especially at the end of the day enjoying the sunset or napping, I wish Tabs could have that same luxury, but I know that it’s probably safer for him to spend the evenings indoors. Where we live here in Novato, there are wide open spaces with coyotes (we see them a lot) and other predators around.
He gets all “bitey” now
Sometimes I wonder where my sweet cat has gone, or if he’s just temporarily on hiatus.
Tabs has been doing this thing lately that we call “being bitey.” He’s always been a very sweet cat, and he still is, but lately he’s gotten more aggressive with biting. He’ll nip my elbows or my shoulder while we’re just relaxing, and I think it’s because we recently changed his food. Tabs gets three meals a day now of wet food — morning, afternoon and night (his doctor thought it would be better for his health), but he used to have free-range access to a bowl filled with crunchies, so I think he’s acting out.
Sometimes he’s so needy, but it’s very sweet
Tabs is a little needier than most of the cats I’ve known. He’s very people-oriented, and he likes to be around his peeps all the time. He follows us around wherever we go in the house. If we’re in the living room watching TV, he’ll come downstairs and sleep on “the forbidden chair,” which used to be the forbidden chair…but now it’s just his chair. Or he’ll sleep on the opposite side of the room, just as long as he’s in the same room with us. He constantly has to be around me or El Hub, but we love it.
Late-night lurvies when I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night
I’m pregnant now, and I go to the bathroom — not kidding — three or four times in the middle of the night, but Tabs doesn’t seem to understand that these bathroom breaks aren’t related to him partying.
I think that he thinks that whenever I go to the bathroom, then come back to bed and lie down, it’s solely for his amusement, because he’ll jump on the bed, crawl on top of me and start purring. Then he’ll start kneading my hair and giving me head-butts. And he does this multiple times a night, every time I go to the bathroom.
He goes into supervisory mode every morning
I joke all the time about Tabs being my boss because sometimes it really does seem like he’s my boss! 🙂 Like in the mornings, when I first sit down at my desk, the first thing he does is walk into my office and lie down on the floor behind my chair to clean while keeping an eye on me. Basically, he’s supervising and making sure I’m doing my work.
I think it’s funny, but really, I think it’s mostly because that room is the warmest room and gets the most sun in the morning.
Sometimes when he goes for walks he just likes to sit in the front stoop and look around
Tabs loves to go for walks on his harness, but sometimes he doesn’t want to wander around our little circle or go exploring down the hill. Sometimes he’s just happy to be a little guard cat sitting in front of the house, where he can look around and watch the birds.
I think he really enjoys that.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
It’s so hard to think about our fur babies leaving us! Two of my five cats (yes, five lol) are litter mates and were 14 in April. I’ve had them since they were kittens and it’s hard to imagine not having them around. How old do you think Tabs is? Congratulations on the baby girl by the way. My daughter is about to turn 10 which seems totally impossible.
Hi Meredith,
The vet thinks that he’s probably between 10 and 12. 🙁 I had long thought that he’d be about 9, since he still seemed like a kitten when he found us about eight years ago.
I know I just have to enjoy the time we have together because that’s all I can do.
Thank you for the congratulations on Baby Girl. As a mom to a girl, what’s been the hardest and the most rewarding parts of parenting for you so far?
I collected one of the whiskers from my cat Digger. Now that he’s gone, I’m glad that I did because it’s a little part of my baby that will always be with me.
I understand the urge to collect whiskers; I’ve done it with each of my cats that have passed. I’ve also clipped a little fur and stuck it to some tape. I keep them in my jewelry box. I know it does sound a little crazy cat lady, but it helped when I was grieving and is a sweet reminder of them now. Don’t worry too much about the crazy, just do what you need to make a transitional time easier. And really, Tabs may surprise you and be around for a lot longer than you expect.
It’s impressive that you’re able to put all those compacts on him without him rolling over. Lol.
I also used to collect my pug’s whiskers. No weirdo at all. We still have his ashes. There’s no special place we could have put them. 🙁
This is such a lovely testament. Tabs is a special and lucky cat. 🙂
Lovely pics & Lucky cat with Chanel!
Love your blog…
I have those same fears about my cat not always going to be around. Never thought about collecting whiskers but I think it’s a good idea!
My cat is the same when it comes to neediness. She needs to follow me to the toilet and needs to sit there when I shower. And then my boyfriend’s cat does the same with me coming back from the toilet. He thinks it’s for him to jump on top of me and then he expects at least five minutes of petting.
I think Tabs will continue living a long time because you take such great care of him and give him so much love. You are right to keep him indoors and give him walks on a leash, it’s a dangerous world out there for cats! I am fascinated by my cats loose whiskers too, I love how stiff and sharp they are! My cat is elderly as well, but still very playful. I will be sad when she passes but I know I will always be a crazy cat lady and rescue another one (or two) from the shelter!
You are making me really wish I bought that anthro dress!
You are seriously going to make me cry with this talk of Tabs and him not always being around. Heck, I start to cry if I think too hard about my cat and dog being gone and they are only 2 and 6 years old! You take wonderful care of Tabs. He is a very lucky kitty to have someone who loves him as much as you.
Dear Karen! I am a longtime reader and I adore Tabs! I had to cry when I read your post because I can relate to that so well. I have a tabby cat called Maexchen and he is 21 and a half years old and we won’t have much time left now. Cherish every day with Tabs and I hope he will follow Maexchen’s pawsteps and have a long life!
Also congratulations on your pregnancy! Your video on it was very touching. Greetings and all the best from Germany!
I have three cats now, just about three years ago I lost my baby-cat, my Sigynn. She was with me for almost 15 years…when I adopted her from the ASPCA she was already full-grown. It took me a full six months to not be weepy over her anymore. I still miss her. She was with me through so much…I snuck her in to the college dorm in my senior year and it was til death do us part.
Yes, you and Tabs will eventually part ways, and just like people, cats change when they age. They slow down. In all likelihood you still have many years left with Tabs. Especially keeping him indoors, you are extending his life. Indoor cats live longer, usually around 20 years.
The bitey-ness might just be affectionate nibbling. Pebbles and Isis do it.
I never knew how old Sigynn was exactly, but based on when she lost her hearing, which is around 15-16, she probably died around 19-20ish. She also went diabetic and I gave her insulin shots every day for over a year.
She really was a terrible horrible cat, she didn’t like anyone except me, she bit, puked, peed on everything, but she was my baby and I still love her madly.
Aww, I loved this. Tabs seems like such a sweetheart and I’ve enjoyed getting to know him through your blog. He is loved and well cared for and I always enjoying seeing his sweet face.
I’m pretty sure Ella is the oldest of our brood, but I have no idea how old. Mingy is probably 5-6 and Nina is probably 3.5 years old. The vet thought she was around 6 months old when we grabbed her.
If I need to cry on demand, I just have to let my mind wander into what life would be like without any one of them. I’m just so thankful that I have them in my life. Their sweet, little personalities always brighten my day. 🙂
girl…you makin’ me cry over here about Tabs! *sniff*
Aww, Tabs is so cute! I can’t think about my cats…not being around anymore. It’s too heartbreaking! My husband and I refer to them as our catpanions. Cats are the best!
My Jiji kitty is only 4, and Mina, of course, is still a baby. Quincy, however, is 8, which is pretty old for a bun. He’s super healthy, but I don’t know what I’ll do when his time comes. He’s the best little bunny ever.
My mom offered to have him buried up north, in a pretty flowered area where we’ve buried our dogs / etc, but I don’t think he wants to be buried near Rottweilers (although his former kitty brother Gomez is there too under some Jack in the Pulpits).
Oh, Tabs…diets are hard on all of us! I get a little out of character on new diets, too 🙂
Aw, Karen. I feel for you. Our Schnauzer Nicky is turning fourteen this year, and we can tell he’s losing his eyesight and his hearing a bit. He can’t judge distances well and is constantly butting his head on stuff. Tabs is a great companion, and I hope you get all the time you need with him. <3
I can relate to your fear of the day you’ll have to let him go… Ernesto is 9 now and I think of it often. Where have those years gone? I feel like the day I met him, when he was such a small kitten that he fit in my hand, was just last week!
I totally understand your feelings about Tabs. When I adopted Tulip they didn’t really know her age but the vet thinks she’s older than what she seems. I get so sad thinking about that so I try not to think about that. My boyfriend got Jazmine when she was kitten…so small she would fit in your hand. Jazmine is now 17 and still going strong. She sleeps more and has gotten slower but she still loves to play and follow my mom around the house. It’s so sad how time goes by so quickly. I never really thought about collecting her whiskers…
Karen you are not crazy. I would do it too. Just make the most of your time with Tabs. I am glad that he is healthy so you will have plenty of time with him. *hugs*
By the way, I have yet to congratulate you…. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! When are you due? I saw your post when I got back from SF but did not get to view it …the first thing that popped into my mind was “She’s Pregnant”….and I was RIGHT!!! This is so exciting! Just before I left for SF, my cousin who lives in SF told me she is expecting but they do not know the sex of the baby.
Have a wonderful day. Take it easy.
Hugs From the Great Up North!!!
You are not weird to collect Tabs’ “whiskees.” I have a crystal powder box with whiskers from my last three cats and my current two. My tortie Marbles has mostly black whiskers, but always has one or two white ones; Josie has a full-face of long white whiskers – they are indeed amazing!
If you’re a CCL, them I am too. Collecting their whiskers is not weird IMHO; it’s sweet and a loving memento of them.
I know what you mean about Tabs mortality. Our cat Blaow was a stray, my daughter brought found him eating trash outside her middle school. She just finished college so Blaow is probably around 9- 10 years old. The Vet refers to him as a senior. He’s a indoor/outdoor kitty, but he only goes out at night for short periods. So mostly he’s inside. He’s got crystals in his urine so he gets special dry food from the vet. He’s slower and lately I don’t think his hearing is as acute.But overall he seems fine. The thought of losing him is painful as he is a family member to us.
Hi Karen,
I know exactly how you feel when you say you want to keep your fur-baby around forever. Sadly, my cat Jaspurr went over to rainbow bridge two years ago at the tender age of 9. Everyday we have with our kitties is a miracle. Cherish the time you have together and try not to worry about tomorrow; as we have no control over what will be. I love reading all your posts about Tabs. He is a very loved cat. Congrats on your pregnancy. I am sure you will be a wonderful mother to your daughter as well as make-up/fashion consultant. 🙂 Melanie
Totally get your melancholy about Tabs aging…we just had a major vet issue with one of my kitties (inflammatory bowel disease) and I was hysterical one day thinking he was going to make it through (he’s doing great now). I think you may also be subconsciously worried about Baby Girl coming and how that will affect your relationship with Tabs. Since he’s been your baby for years, he’s used to having all your attention, but he’ll adjust with the baby (mine did with no problem and I’m just as crazy a cat lady as you are) and be okay that you have two babies to look after now. Just try to keep him in the room with you when you’re with her…sometimes all they need is to exist in a parallel universe with their beloved people. So joyful that you are expecting!
Karen,
I too worry about the day i won’t have my sweet little Rose by my side–she just turned 11 in August–I got her from the ASPCA at 6 months old when I lived in Manhattan–she is my first cat. Funny, when she was about a year old I found one of her white whiskers on the floor–I didn’t know they regularly fell out so I put it in a ziplock bag and saved it. I suggest you do the same 🙂
As far as aging goes–indoor cats usually live to be 15-20 years old. The ASPCA says an outdoor cat has a life expectancy of only 3 years so don’t feel bad about keeping Tabs in the house. My Rose is an indoor cat too but she likes to go outside as well–i let her out what I get home from work and she lays in the grass in the front yard next to me for 10-15 minutes and watches the birds.
You still have a lots of time with Tabs–enjoy every scratchy tongue kiss and sweet purr xoxo
Anne Marie
Oh, Karen…believe me, I know exactly what you feel and even just reading this, made me choke up. It’s been a year now that my Rocky lost his battle with cancer, and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him more than words can say – he was my supervisor too (although his ‘supervision’ involved sleeping/snoring on the couch beside me as I wrote), and it’s the little things like that I miss the most. Tabs is so incredibly lucky to have the two of you as his parent, and I can guess how blessed you feel to have him in your lives. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for the time when he’s no longer physically there, the truth is that it’s still going to be hard — but time really does dull the edge of any hurt. So go ahead and collect those whiskees – I don’t think it’s crazy at all, and I’m sure will be a source of comfort for you one day! Hugs, beautiful girl! xo
This is so sweet. It’s obvious how much you love your kitty.
hi
Karen’
you look pretteier every day.
spell check only works when you dont want it to !
i just enough chili to go around a!
! can make you some too!
beef or chicken ?
Black beans 0r red ?
JUST LET ME KNOW!
MICHELR
Dogs have masters, cats have a staff.
Love that grey and white striped dress! and those boots!! Swoon.
Our younger cat will nip at our elbows when she wants food or attention.
My older cat Nora will jump on the bed and lay across my hips, stomach or bladder after kneading that area and then proceed to purr loudly to announce how hungry she is, usually between 5:30 and 7:30 a.m.
Tabs is lucky that he found such a loving and dedicated employee to take care of him.
He’s a handsome boy. Enjoy all his love and attention while he’s around.
P.S. Was there much smoke and ash up your way from the Valley fire?
Forgot to mention. I collect my girls whiskers when I find them. I’m planning on gathering them into a brush shaped tassel and then putting them on a chain to wear.
In the horse world we collect tail hairs. Then when the horse passes on to the great pasture in the sky we have them braided into bracelets and rings.
I feel the same way about my pets. Haha. I still have some tufts of fur and whiskers from my childhood cats. I have my dog’s baby teeth too!
I don’t blame you for keeping Tabs indoors. My cat at my parents house is indoor/outdoor and the new kitten is exclusively indoors. Too much wildlife out and about. I would love to have a cat but it would have to be an indoor only cat. I just cleaned up part of a half-eaten bunny this morning in my yard. I’m not sure if an owl or a coyote got it. There’s been a lot of missing cat posters in my neighborhood too :/
I just cherish all the special time I have with my pets!
I just had to my beloved ‘Gabby’ to sleep last week. She was 18 years old. She was a ‘Tortie’. And was amazing. She was having some serious aged related problems my heart hurts so bad from that loss. We have to do what’s right for her, but doesn’t make it any easier. Love every minute with your Tabs.
Reading this made me teary at work 🙁
I have a kitty that reminds me so much of Tabs, and the Friday before last she got out of our house while I was at work and the cleaning company we use was at our home. I’m missing her so much!
Awww, I started tearing up because I can just feel the love you have for Tabs through this post.
He loves you so much and you have given him the most wonderful life. It sounds like he returned that favor as well.
karen long ago that accompany you and Tabys, and know when you love him and he loves you, know that you are right in keeping the whiskers of his drink, he is charming, so much want to be there at that moment and embrace you two! do not know how much I like of you, I say this from the heart! I love to see how you guys are made for each other.
really it is difficult to think of the day of departure, but know that the Tabbys will comfort you in the dimension he is living.
I love cats too, know how important they are in our lives, I will buy a case and I will adopt some cats to find in the streets, and I know that I will hold on as much as you.
Are babies mustache .. The tabbys is a very elegant kitten, tabbys channel
Tell me, even speaking Portuguese and living in Brazil I prontifico me to help with my friendship. I love you!
Thank you for being part of my life, I’m not far of you, because I feel the energy here in as (Karen and tabbys) are important in my life.
Affectionately!
I’ve saved my Pixie’s whiskers. I love her dearly, and just thinking about…jeeze…I just can’t think about it. I totally sympathize with you worrying about Tabs.
It seems like you’re giving him a wonderful life with the safety of an indoor kitty and the jaunts outside with his harness — best of both worlds. Hopefully, he’ll be one of those kitties that live to be twenty plus. As the world’s most famous plus size super model cat, he’s got a lot of people wishing him well.
Karen, I love reading about the love have you have for Tabs! Ralph Ruffies (a.k.a. King of Orange…) came to live with us when he was 3 1/2 years old, he’s seven now and I am getting worried myself. Was just in the store the other day and seven is the first age listed on the bag of “senior health” cat food! Ugh! Too soon… way too soon!! I think you would be ever so surprised by who secretly collects their cats “whiskees”, (Ralph sheds salt & pepper ones too!) even the most un-catty of cat people. I have found them secretly stashed on the sides of picture frames at friends houses. Here’s to many years to come, and your “little one to be” growing up with Tabs… xx
This post was beautiful, and now I’m going to go hug my own beautiful baby. She turned 15 this year and is in good health, I hope she’s with me for a great deal more!
The only pets I ever had were tropical fish from the age of 6 until I went to college. I never had dogs or cats due to severe allergies. However your commentary, the beautiful photos of Tabs and the comments from fellow cat lovers are so awesome. It takes a special person to love and care for such an awesome kitty like Tabs. You guys make me want to go to the nearest shelter and adopt a pet (lol)!
Congratulations…you’re going to be a mommy!! That’s wonderful news!!
I cried reading this and can so relate. When I think of any of my boys being gone I get weepy. Hem, our oldest, is 8 now. It feels like he was just a kitten yesterday!
<3 I had four birds who all passed away from old age. I collected feathers that they lost during molting. I'm glad I did so as I'll always have a part of my birds with me.
What a great kitty! He clearly loves his Mom very much!!
=(
This entry was touching… I think I got a speck in my eye… :´(
I had a mixed dog (Daschund + Pinscher) named Milka when I was little. She died when I was 19, and she was all alone, because my mother and I were basically living with my Oma (gradma in German, I’m Brazilian but the German heritage in my town is strong, as the Italian). So my dog spend most of the week alone, we only saw her on weekends. My Oma didn’t want Milka inside her house and she didn’t have a fenced yard or anything of the kind, so Milka would have to be on the leash the whole time, and at my place at least she could run around the yard. I blame myself a lot for the letting her alone like that. One day my mother went home and she was dead, we don’t even know why, because she was only 9 years old. Back then, we weren’t really knowledgeable about pets, we fed her cheap dog food, didn’t make yearly check-ups at the Vet, etc.
Now I live alone in a rented small apartment – I don’t even have a balcony or a proper place for an animal, and it’s on the second floor, so I would have to put nets on all windows, and I have no money for that currently. One day, when I have my own place, on my name, which I can modify, decorate and alter any way I like without any concern regarding the real estate agency, when I have a stable, constant job with regular payments and all.. only then I think I’ll be able to take proper care of a pet. I would like a small dog, a daschund preferentially, and a cat, any cat, to keep me company. 🙂