The way the phrase is commonly used in the beauty world, “self-care” usually refers to outward beauty maintenance — things like doing a face mask or taking a bubble bath or getting your hair done, i.e. “meow time,” and I totally get that, because how many times have I found respite at the salon or in painting my paws or in playing with makeup on my bedroom floor? Too many times to count.
But these days self-care also means something else to me. It means taking care of my inside voice and my mental and emotional health by doing the things that I know help me feel functional during the day, like getting enough sleep at night, and staying hydrated, and doing my hair in the morning (instead of just putting in up in a messy bun), and changing out of my pajamas into “real clothes” before 10. (Side note: I work from home, so there’s always the temptation to not fix my hair and stay in my robe all day, but when I do this I always feel like crap.)
Also, stretching, since it helps with my back pain, and sweating for at least 30 minutes a day, or however often I can swing it. Making my bed first thing in the morning is another thing that helps, as does eating raw fruits and veg… I also try to care for myself by reminding myself throughout the day that the little things that IRRITATE ME won’t matter in 10 years.
Probably the most important thing, and this took me a long time to figure out, is to do everything I can possibly do to proactively keep myself from slipping down into that space where I feel perpetually blue, and when I start to feel it coming, I tell El Hub, for one. I also reach out to my friends and family and make plans to do things with them (this one is hard for me because I naturally want to retreat inward and be left alone when I start feeling blue).
I also try to work out a little more, because exercise really helps keep my mood even, and I make myself do at least one thing from the Post-It list of “activities that spark joy” that I keep on my computer.
All of this really helps me care for myself.
What does self-care mean to you? 🙂
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
I agree with everything on your list! I need to get better about working out and cleaning, those are things I don’t like doing while I’m doing them but when I’m done I’m very happy! I would add trying new recipes, healthy or otherwise!
If I find any yummy new recipes I’ll be sure to share them with you, Rachel!
You nailed it! Taking care of our outward appearance can have a tremendous effect on how we feel—ask any health care professional. How we present ourselves to the world as we go about our day can also determine how other people react and respond to us which, in turn, affects how we feel. I’m not saying we need to go out perfectly coiffed, flawlessly made up, and dressed to the nines all the time. I’m talking about maintaining good hygiene, basic grooming, and wearing clothes that are clean, in good repair, and appropriate to the situation.
As for internal “wellness”, eat a moderate well-balanced diet (including an occasional treat ?), get regular exercise and adequate sleep, be curious and develope interests, keep up with current events, show genuine interested in other people and you, yourself, will be interesting to them, pick your battles and learn to let negative feeling go. Oh, yeah, and get a dog! LOL We have huskies which we love to bits.
SO MUCH YES to picking your battles, Eileen. Took me a long time to figuring that one out. 🙂
BTW I had a husky when I was a child and loved that dog to bigs.
Karen, I love your face. It always makes me smile when you do “keeping it real” posts like this one. And your sticky note…awesomesauce.
Self-care and wellness (especially this time of year) are important. For me, I take care of my inner self with as much sleep as I can get, binge-watching an awesome show, reading copious amounts of fiction, and trying to laugh off things that are irritants. For the outer self…well…skincare and masks obviously, getting my nails done, and keeping my roots done in a timely manner (because ya know, when you see gray roots coming in, unless you are trying to let them grow…it’s depressing). And really, Liz Taylor was onto something when she said to put on lipstick and pull it together. A pretty color on my face always lifts my mood.
Cheers bella.
Oh, those roots! I need to do mine soon (I just started coloring my hair again… It’s been an adventure).
Thank you for leaving this nice note!
I love your list Karen…all important things!! For me, self care is praying, sleeping, lifting weights, and surrounding myself in a cloud of perfume. Great article Karen. Thanks for posting!!
Thanks for commenting today, Sherry. And thank you for the reminder to surround myself in a cloud of perfume! I need to make that a habit again. 🙂
Karen you got it !
Not retreating is key . Talking to your friends helps you see how much we have in common .
I like that you said you do your hair and makeup . It’s easy to fall into a pattern of a messy bun and no makeup . Some don’t wear any makeup but I take a warm shower , moisturize and fix my hair .
Besides , looking at myself in the mirror helps my psyche when I gave make up on .
Stretching ??♀️ is also key . My body gets stiff if I don’t stretch and go my daily walk !
Thank you Michele. Took me a long time to figure out to NOT retreat. I have to remind myself to reach out!
I kinda like to do a mind, body, spirit approach and if I balance that I feel like I am caring for myself properly. Just a few things that I need to maintain:
-Learn at least 1 thing daily
-For me I like to run (at least 3 miles but no more than 8 miles or my muscles kill me) 3 + days a week.
-Get enough sleep which unfortunately doesn’t happen the way it should.
-Spend time strengthening my faith DAILY or I become an anxious mess & start questioning my purpose.
It’s really a job to find that balance but when I do, I really do feel like I’m unstoppable.
Hi Rener,
It really does take work. But the rewards are wonderful.
Thanks for giving me a boost to go for a run!
I love this, Karen! One of the biggest additions I’ve made very recently to the “self-care” category of my life (though I didn’t realize this was what I was doing until I read this post) is, when I’m feeling angry at or beat down by the world (especially in terms of things I can’t control) is to reach out to someone I haven’t spoken to/emailed/texted in a while and send them a positive message.
I especially learned this when a friend died unexpectedly late last month. The thing that upset me most about her death was that I feel very much like I should have reached out to her more, gotten to know her better, and probably learned a lot from her. She was an older lady (could be my mom) but she was AMAZING. Opinionated, lively, hilarious, worldly, and utterly kind. I miss her.
But it makes me feel better to randomly send someone a virtual hug. Always.
That’s a nice thing to do, Fern. I’ll have to make that a habit, too. 🙂
Sorry to hear about your friend. Sending YOU a virtual hug.
Hi Karen, I figured you were a sensitive person from your love for Tabs, but I had no idea you had a tendency to feel low. You’re right – a self care thing is like a self maintenance programme. I think we all know what we should do but we don’t always do it! What has always helped me is going out for a walk in the park each day. If I want to chat I can talk to the dog-walkers and if I don’t, I can just enjoy the scenery, but the important thing is that I’m out of the house. I work from home too and it’s easy to just retreat inside and stay there. The other thing that always helps me is writing down my worries and blue thoughts. Sometimes I end up writing them away. Much love to you XXX
Self-Care has always been more of an inward thing for me, less about bubble baths and face masks, and lately putting away my phone and doing something offline, like reading, playing with the kids or even meditating has helped me a lot. I am a naturally happy person though, so these little things are usually enough to keep my mood good.
Self care for me includes, therapy, meditation, exercise, writing in a gratitude journal and connecting with family friends.
I would like to engage in more activities that I find pleasure in like hiking, checking out a new art exhibit and taking a photography class.