Tabs: “Don’t you do it. Don’t cry.”
Me: *sniffs* “But what if this is our last photo shoot together?”
Tabs: “Then you should probably wear Chanel. It’s the right thing to do.”
Me: “I’m really trying not to cry but…”
Tabs: “No buts, lady. Think about all of the pics we’ve taken together over the years. How many have there been? Thousands? Tens of thousands? Think about how lucky we’ve — no, how lucky you’ve been to have me in all those pics, because, quite frankly, your poses are hella boring. You’re kind of a hot mess…”
Me: “Oh, man. I’m gonna miss you so much.”
Tabs: “Will you promise me something?”
Me: “Anything.”
Tabs: “Promise me you won’t let grief consume you. Because I know you. I KNOW YOU. And you can’t let that happen. Under any circumstances.”
Me: “I can’t guarantee that, my love.”
Tabs: “You’re going to have to be brave. When I’m gone, you’re going to get out of bed in the morning, comb your fur, get out of your pajamas, and maybe put on a little makeup. Every single day. Most importantly, I want you to smile.”
Me: “People will judge me for grieving too much or too little, for sharing too much or too little, for being weird…”
Tabs: “Kid, I thought you were tougher than that.”
Me: “Apparently, I’m not.”
Tabs: *sigh* “Look, here’s the deal: I’m leaving soon, and I’m sorry but that’s the reality. You’re going to have to keep going, and I want you to do it with love in your heart. If there’s anything I’ve taught you, I hope it’s that. Radiate love, and send your joy out into the world.”
Me: “I’ll do my best…”
Tabs: “That’s all any of us can do. Now, will you smile for me? Let’s play some music, take pictures and enjoy the day.”
Me: “That sounds like a good idea.”
I think this song perfectly captures his spirit/cattitude, and it’s the one we listened to while we took these pics. Now it will always remind me of him.
Makeup I’m wearing in these pics…
- Chanel Les Beiges Water Fresh Tint in Medium Plus
- Wander Beauty Nude Illusion Liquid Foundation in Golden Tan
- Chanel Natural Finish Loose Powder in Translucent 3
- bareMinerals Endless Summer Bronzer in Warmth
- bareMinerals Endless Glow Highlighter in Fierce
- MAC Sheertone Blush in Gingerly
- Wander Beauty Mile High Club Mascara
- Chantecaille Mermaid Eye Matte in Bee
- Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in Chaos
- MAC Cicero Full Face Kit (blue eyeshadow)
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict(s),
Karen and Tabs
Keep smiling, girl, and DO AS THE TABS SAYS. He’s so zen. I wish I could be as brave and sensible during rough times. He’s got the best eyes in the business, too. AND OMG THIS LINE: “Then you should probably wear Chanel. It’s the right thing to do.” This needs to be emblazoned on a Connor Claire product. 😉
What a sweet post…hang in there. Much love to you ?
Oh, my heart.
His instincts are impeccable. Chanel was absolutely the right thing to do.
You both look magnificent.
I’m so sorry that you and tabs are going through this. It’s so hard but what you wrote is beautiful and don’t worry what anyone else thinks. Grieve how you grieve and heal how you heal. The weirder the better 🙂
Xoxo
Love these pics of you and Tabs! Thank you for making your blog such a positive, bright place. You and Tabs have brought a smile to my face when I’ve had a bad day. Processing grief is different for everyone. Take your time and know there are a lot of cat ladies out here to support you.
I’m not crying. You’re not crying. (I’m totally crying.) Do what you need to take care of yourself. Sending lots of crazy cat lady love to you and Tabs.
I’m not crying, you’re crying! Karen, I know the pain and grief of losing a beloved pet and, although I miss Moose every single day, it does get better each day.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truisms-wellness/201608/why-losing-pet-hurts-so-much
Hugs to you, El Hub and Connor during this difficult time.
Tears are rolling down my face! I am so sorry! I have been following your blog for years. For the makeup, yes, but also for tabs! Give that sweet baby a love from me. He will for sure be your guardian angel kiki! I hope your broken heart won’t be unbearable. Also, I will read ALL THE TABS POSTS YOU POST!! ?. Love to you Karen. ❤
Your blog was the very first I started reading years ago and I don’t believe that I ever left a comment.
As a crazy cat lady myself I am so deeply touched by your words and the hard times you must be going through. I have lost both my cats to cancer about a year ago and having spent their very last hours with them, I imagine how you probably feel.
I cried when I heard that Tabs was ill, people will find it silly but it is true. Cats do leave paw prints on our hearts…
Sending you lots of Love and a big hug from France.
Isabelle
Whew. Crying big tears down here in Florida. I love the photos and I am so glad you have lots of photos of the two of you together.
Just a little love and support from a far away reader.
xo
This post made me cry and you guys are in my prayers. Grieve in whatever way feels right to you, don’t worry how it looks to others. Fur babies are like our children . I was a wreck when our sweet baby Plum died, but it does get easier.
Tabs and Karen- you beauties, you! And Tabs knows what he’s talking about- he ain’t just a pretty face!
Cuddles & love to you all during this trying time.
Can’t get through that post without misting up Karen. It is beautiful and I’m certain that’s what Tabs would say if he could talk. So much love and I know you have a lot of people thinking about you right now.
Dear ones,
Thank you so much for the continuing wonderful photos and thoughts. I have the Desiderata with me also, along with Thoreau’s Different Drummer . . my favorites. And yeah, the lipstick is pretty, too . . especially knowing those loving lips can lurve on her boy.
The Derby is on tv tomorrow . . . time to get Tabs in his best hat with his best gal for a look at the festivities, maybe. He still looks happy, and it’s hard to handle what’s going on under that beautiful fur coat . . big loves, hugs and kisses on you, sweet boy.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
All the best for the most wonderful day you can make,
Leigh
I’ve been reading and enjoying your blog for years, but I think I’ve commented maybe once in the last decade. I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry. Tabs feels like family and so do you, and we are all grieving along with you. Take whatever time you need. Godspeed, Tabs, you beautiful creature.
I am bawling my eyes out right now after this post! I lost my cat, Salem, of 18 years just two months ago on February 20th. I had him for half my lifetime – I am 35. These have been the worst couple months of my life. I live alone so coming home to the complete silence has been the absolute worst. Salem was my everything. I spent every waking minute with him when I was home. We had an extremely close relationship and bond and I know you, as a fellow cat-lover, completely understand this. He was like my child. I have not left my bed other than to go to work, reluctantly, and to shower. I barely ate the first few weeks. I could not even process food. That is the honest truth. I am in such a deep depression. I left social media. I have not posted anywhere since the day he died; I just disappeared into my own little world and shut everything out because it just hurts so bad. I am a complete wreck. I know everything you wrote is true and that Salem would want me healthy and trying to move on, but right now I am just sitting in this depressive mess because it is all I can manage. And I am okay with that. I wish I was capable of what Tabs said – I do. But I am just not. I truly, truly feel for you, Karen. And I hope you are much more capable of what Tabs suggests and that you have a better support system than I do. I know you have a very loving family who will be there for you when it comes time. I am thinking of you both and sending you and Tabs lots of love and hugs. xoxo (P.S. I am leaving my IG in case you want to chat. As someone who has recently gone through this, and been through it before too a few years back, I can be an ear if you ever need one. I do still check my messages there.)
Lots of love to you both, from Canada! We just got a cat in January and I already can’t handle the thought of not having him. Gutted for you. Tabs has always had the best taste in everything, that is for dang sure xoxoxo
Karen, a part of me didn’t want to read this post because, well, it’s damn hard. But it’s also Tabs, who’s like family and has a personality as big as his heart — and mainly because I’ve been through this and wanted to surround you with love and hugs. Know that you are not alone and that Tabs will forever be with you. And by George, that last line of his/yours: perfection! xo
Sending hugs to you! I love reading and seeing pictures of Tabs. Stay strong, we are all here for you!
I’m so sorry to hear that Tabs is ill. We found out Blaow has terminal liver cancer a few months ago. Me and my daughter have been giving him pain and nausea meds. The vet also prescribed appetite stimulants, they worked but made him a little hyper. My husband suggested CBD oil for animals and it’s really helped a lot with pain and appetite. He’s about 16 years old, Sydney found him in her middle school dumpster eating trash . Sydney went to UC Davis and Blaow kept my company all those years. Sydney’s 27 now!! He’s part of the family and we’re doing everything to make him as comfortable as possible. Tabs is well loved and cared for like my cat boy. And though we are sad we loved him to the end.
Tabs is right, he’s a smart cat.
I feel for you, having lost two dogs over the years, yes, I know they weren’t cats., but then I’m a crazy animal lady.
Cuddle him as much as you can and give that gorgeous cat a nose kiss from me (if he likes them, of course).
So much sympathy to you. My favorite cat also died of cancer at 12 years old, with a few last weeks together after the diagnosis. He had been with me for my entire adult life up to that point. He’s been gone for almost five years, but I still occasionally have a cry remembering him and the pain of this specific time that you’re in right now. Tabs knows how much you love him, and his spirit will always be with you. You’re in my prayers. <3
You and the sweet Tabs are a duo that will live forever! God bless, comfort & be a Balm to you and the family, right now.
Sending lotsa love your way ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Hello dear Karen. I have been following you and Tabs for about 5 years. All this 5 years you two were my company and you make me laugh (even in the toughest moments) and you taught me how to be beautiful, how to be myself. I will miss him a lot. Stay strong as he says. I wish you the best. Big hug from Lisbon, Portugal.
I’m not crying, I only have tears of gratefulness for being able to meet Tabs.
He’s very wise and do as he says. These must be hard times but I know you can overcome it.
Sending you lots of hugs.
What a special sentiment and photo shoot. I hope you read this over and over after Tabs is gone, and it gives you comfort.
Oh Karen… I’m speechless, something rare for an extrovert like me. Sending all my love and peace to you as you move through this time both with and without tabs. It’s been pure joy all these years reading your blog and seeing tabs too. ❤❤❤
Such cute pictures of you and Tabs!! Hugs to you Karen!!
Dear Karen,
You are the best cat mom & friend any cat could’ve wished for.
I’m sobbing because I can feel the pain in your words. If it’s of any comfort, you & tabs have brought me joy in some of my darkest hours. I am forever grateful.
Always,
Max
My heart hurts so much for you upon learning that Tabs is this ill, Karen. They really do leave their little paw prints all over our hearts, and that never leaves us. Having lost my own bestest kitty Pookie 2 ½ years ago, I understand these feelings too well. Just enjoy him and his sweetness for however long you have left together. We Cat-Lady readers (and Cat Men, too) are all here for you as you and your family go through this sad time.
?? I love this. You’re such a good cat momma and Tabs is such a good boss and kuya.
These are great pictures. Love your makeup and Tabs is smoldering ?
Now Im trying not to cry, I lost my beautiful boy Bucky in December & it was honestly so hard. I miss him every day & wish I had more photos of the 2 of us together. He was only a part of my life for less than 4 years but he was everything to me. Sending you all love in this difficult time.
Karen, I don’t care how much you post about grief and overwhelm – it’s fine with me. I’ve been there, sobbing in the shower so loud my husband and the person he was talking to on the phone could hear it downstairs.
There’s a wonderful children’s book about grief called ‘Cry Heart, But Never Break’ and I think that’s what Tabs is saying to you XXXXXX
Dear Karen,
I was attracted to your blog years ago because of the makeup advice and your excellent writing and humor, but also because of your beautiful Tabs. I just learned that he is ill, and you and your family have my deep sympathy. Stay strong! Remember what a wonderful home you gave him.
It’s so beautiful but so hard! With you and the fantastic Tabs.
Hugs to you and Tabs from me and my cat herd. You grieve however you need to. The people who know you and love you will support you, and the people who don’t? They don’t matter. >^..^<
Tabs and you Karen were my introduction to the make-up blog world.I couldn’t believe there was somebody like me who was nuts for make-up.Tab was a big part it.My heart is with you.❤️
Do as Tabs says, Karen. He is a wise cat.
Dear ones,
May the day bring comfort, love, and peace for whatever creation has planned for you. You are in my thoughts constantly, mostly accompanied by tears, but always with empathy and the wish for a miraculous outcome.
With your face in his fur, snuggled into your right shoulder, whisper to him, once again, how wonderfully he has enhanced our lives and how greatly he is loved and cherished.
Warmest hugs and loving prayers,
The Boulder girl
❤️
Big love to you and Tabs ❤️❤️❤️
This is beautiful, Karen. And Tabs is so wise and sassy. Happy Caturday to you both ❤️?
I don’t handle these situations well, I’ve grown to love Tabs during the time I’ve enjoyed your blog, all I can do is send you a long warm hug from someone who understands and feels your pain, much love,
Tabs is very wise in his tough love. 🙂 I know it’s easier said than done but please try not to worry about whether or not people are judging you. If people don’t understand your grief and it bothers them, they can choose not to read. From everything I’ve seen here, though, people get it and completely support you. Everyone handles grief differently but no one should feel like there is a right way. You will feel how you feel, express it in the way that helps you most and be reminded by a sweet 3 year old that you’ll need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even if it’s just to make breakfast. 🙂
Crying, of course. I’m so sorry for this. I’ve been there and it’s very, very hard.
<3 Tabs
We love you now and over all these years.