Today, I joyfully applied my makeup. I thoroughly enjoyed the act of putting on makeup. It was just me, a few things I wanted to try (a couple new Pixi palettes), and absolutely no pressure to overachieve or create something extraordinary, and no difficult-to-reach expectations. It was simply easy and fun.
It might not be the edgiest, most interesting or most complicated makeup I’ve ever worn…but you know, I had a spring in my step when I finished, and I felt good about it all day long.
First of all, before I started doing it, I let go of the idea that I had to do it. I didn’t have to do this look or any look today, and letting go of the pressure was liberating.
There seems to be a lot of pressure to go around these days, or is that just me? Every day I feel this self-imposed — and probably completely unnecessary — pressure to be the best version of myself and to push myself past my limits… I know that in some ways, to want to do this is a good thing, but in other ways it’s not all that great.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the pressure we put on ourselves, like the pressure to be the best at so many of the things we do. Best at our job, great partner, best friend, best daughter, best mother, sister, neighbor, best student, best teacher. The pressure to be Insta-fabulous and keep up with other people’s seemingly perfect lives. If there’s some way to put pressure on myself, I will find it, it seems…
Like, with putting on a full face, for instance. I wore makeup two whole times (!) last week, and the other day I found myself thinking, “Hmm… Can I do three times this week? Four? HOW ABOUT FIVE? And how do I do better? Should I do an all-matte face, so it’ll read better on camera? Or maybe I should dig out some false lashes because I haven’t done that in a minute. I should really, really should do a colorful look because it’s been a while…” Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Why do I do this? I don’t really know. I finally stopped the spiraling by reminding myself that 1) putting on makeup isn’t something I ever have to do, and 2) if I did put it on, it could be as elaborate or as simple as I wanted. As long as it left me feeling great, then cheers to that. 🥂
Because, note to self, it — whatever “it” is in any given circumstance — doesn’t always have to involve going hard at 110% max effort and “taking it to the next level.” There is no shame in modifying your expectations for yourself. If all I can handle is painting my face once or twice a week for no apparent reason at all, then so be it. One can wear black eyeliner with a single eyeshadow (or even no eyeshadow), or just bright lipstick and a tinted moisturizer, and the world will most certainly keep turning.
For now, it’s good enough. And that’s just fine! 😊
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
I know I start some of my conversations with “as I’ve gotten older” , but, as I have gotten older I realize that all the pressure for perfection is a waste of time. I accept that I am not perfect and that’s ok. I am trying to keep things simple these days. I also have found that I like more neutral to cool (rosy blush) tones as my hair has gotten more grey. I am searching for the best eyeshadow quad for this season to go into the Fall.
Anyway, I didn’t get a chance to respond to yesterday’s post, but, I made a tasty couscous salad (although if you’re gluten-free, you could use quinoa) with sweet potato, dried cranberries, sunflower seeds, scallions. I squeezed lime juice, some Olive Oil & a little Balsamic Vinegar. I used it as a side with grilled chicken, but you can keep it meatless.
Be well.
I’ve definitely noticed that different colors work better with grey hair!
Your salad sounds delicious and filling. Can’t wait to try it! Do you roast the sweet potato first?
I completely agree Karen, thank you for pointing out all the the pressures we put on ourselves. In some ways I think it intensified as the pandemic continued. It’s almost like with all the talk of seeking happiness and fulfillment we have forgotten to live in the moment and be content where we are at that time. Thank you for pointing this like feeling out – it is nice to feel like others are feeling this too – normalizing I guess!
Thank you for the tip on Laura Mercier’s Rose Gold Collection eye shadow sticks. I picked up Forbidden Rose and you are right. It is beautiful!!
I like the pixi palette with the variety of colours from very light to blues even. I may see if it is at our local drugstore.
I’m so glad you like the sticks! Forbidden Rose is one of my favorites. Isn’t the level of glow just perfect?
I am coveting that Pixi + Louise Roe Cream Rouge Palette!!! omg, I’ve never wanted a piece of makeup so badly in such a long time, lol. I better buy it before my no-buy year starts at the end of August!
Your self-awareness is already a gift. I’ve always thought that whatever makeup look you do for yourself, it’s flattering, beautiful, authentic. And that’s where the real beauty lies, authenticity. Not giving in to the (self-imposed) pressure to do/be/look. We also change so you may find yourself going full beat face of glam daily again, or not. I think the fun thing you’ve pointed out before is that we can change and that is an adventure in itself, with new makeup products to aid us in exploring.
I’m no longer that showgirl with the costumes, hair, makeup, fake boobs (I had my implants taken out so I could devote more fully to my asana practice) and I don’t even have the desire to show my face on the internet when I used to be SO ALL ABOUT being in the public eye. I much prefer anonymity and my weekends with books, hubby, and the beach. And a bit of makeup here and there.
You’re a great inspiration for your online ohana and wonderful role model for your daughter!
P.S. I forgot to mention that my yoga teacher gave me a little device to wear under my mask that’s like a mini-Hannibal Lecter nose/mouth cage to keep the mask fabric from touching and doesn’t allow the fabric to suck in and out while Darth Vader breathing. This is PERFECT for being able to wear lipstick underneath a mask so yay for ALL THE LIP PRODUCTS again!
WAIT, WHAT?! Do you have any idea what that doo-dad is called? I wanna see if I can get one!
Found it! “Plastic silicon mask inserts” on Amazon. Happy Lippie Wearing!!
THANK YOU!!!
Thank you for your kind words, Christine. Aloha!
Pretty makeup today! I wore the Surrat Beauty Beyond Beige eyeshadow palette on Monday. Nothing exciting, just perfectly polished. I never feel pressured to wear makeup. I wear it because I want to and it’s fun when I do.
I love perfectly polished makeup! Just looked up at that palette and it is PRETTY!
Hi Karen!! Something came to mind when I read your post today. I read long ago somewhere, to just stop comparing yourself to others. I don’t do it, and I’m a really happy person. The advice I got was, there will always be someone prettier than you, thinner than you, richer than you, more educated than you, etc. So, comparing ourselves to others is a losing battle that leads to feelings of happiness in ourselves. The way I see it, there is no perfection on this earth…man is imperfect. But, that is ok. I don’t get caught up in other people’s lives, and compare to them to my own. We’re all wonderful and different. That’s the way God made us, so it’s good enough for me. By the way, I find that you look stunning, even if you only wear a little makeup. I love your makeup looks!! Sail on sailor!!
Hi Sherry,
This is solid advice. It makes me think of the quote by Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I also find that it’s easy to compare yourself to previous versions of you. LIke, I remember the versions of me where I was skinnier, where I had more room in my life to dedicate to work, etc. I’m learning to love the current chapter I’m in. It’s a process.
I hope you’re having a wonderful day so far! Thank you for being a good friend.
I let go of my huge makeup expectations during the pandemic and it was liberating. I wear mainly the same look these days, but it makes me feel amazing whenever I look into the mirror, and that is what ultimately counts.
Love this. I gave up on eyeshadow because of eczema and itchy eyes (except for special occasions) and you know what, I like the just liner look.