tabs

Guess who arrived home today from the East Bay to find a bouquet of freesias (my favorite!) and a lovely handmade Cat Mother’s Day card from Tabs with a spa gift certificate inside?

Here’s a hint: it wasn’t me.

Oh, sure — you might think that Tabs, who on rare occasions calls me “Mom,” or perhaps he’s just mispronouncing “Ma’am,” would have at least hooked me up with a card, but noooo.

Oh, well… If he doesn’t make it up to me on Pet Administrative Professionals Day, then he’ll be in big trouble.

And I mean BIG! — like the demand lately for plus-size kitty models. 🙂

Here are some of the campaigns he worked on this week…

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I don’t know, maybe it’s the warmer weather, but Tabs has been getting ornery lately on our walks outside. Used to be he wouldn’t pull at the end of his leash. He just sort of knew after a while how far he could go (10 feet), and we’d walk around like that, exploring his favorite hill on the side of the house, the garden in the front and the neighbor’s air conditioning unit, which is also home to a bunch of big brown lizards Tabs likes to chase.

But now? Now Tabs regularly tests the end of the leash on practically every walk. I think because it’s been sunny lately, there are tall grasses everywhere, birds fluttering between the trees, and children out playing; there’s just a lot more stimulus outside. More to grab his attention.

Just imagine what it must be like for him on his business trips… I mean, if he finds the hills of Novato exciting, he must think the discotecas in Rio, the sidewalks of Key West, and the resorts in Fiji, Hawaii and Palm Springs are out of sight! 🙂

Speaking of that, here are some highlights from his most recent kitty modeling gigs…

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Dear Tabs,

Hello from The Garden Isle. I trust you’re doing well and enjoying your time away from me at home with your pet sitter.

I hope you’re having fun, but please remember to keep the noise down when you invite your friends over for catnip cocktails. I really don’t need another nasty letter from the homeowner’s association.

Per your instructions regarding the new kitty modeling agency, I’ve been scouting for up-and-coming talent here on Kauai…

To be frank, the talent pool here is huge! — but not in the literal sense. I know you’d had your heart set on filling spots in our plus-size category, but the kitties here would probably be better suited to our petite kitty modeling division.

In fact, I’ve already interviewed three potentials models on the island — a tortie, a tabby and a tuxedo. All three of them are currently employed as entertainers here at the hotel and share a place next to the barbeque pit.

Employees of the hotel…

I was walking back to my room from the fitness center the other morning when the tabby stopped me to introduce himself.

At that very moment, a guest here at the hotel walked up to us holding a box of Friskies. The tabby’s eyes widened with anticipation. “Mrow,” he said.

The woman, a vet tech visiting from the mainland, said that she’d been feeding the hotel strays during her vacation over the past week, but that she was just about to fly home. She handed me the box of Friskies, looked deeply into my eyes, and said, “It’s up to you now.” A cat lady had passed her the box when she first arrived, and now it was up to me. I told her that I was a certified pet assistant/crazy cat lady, and I pledged to take my duties seriously.

So I’ve been feeding the kitties every morning right after I work out. The tortie girl is my favorite of the three. She’s always the friendliest and flashes her tum to show trust. She even lets me pet her cheeks! (Please don’t be jealous.)
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Tabs, smiling with his eyes…

As you know, Tabs has long been considered a leader among fashion-forward felines in the plus-size kitty modeling industry, but now he’s set his sights on crazy cat ladies.

They’ve been his biggest bipedal supporters, both literally and figuratively, so he’s spearheading a global initiative to expand fashionable clothing options for CCLs.

It’s all about distribution and networking. Here are some of the pieces and designers Tabs likes for the project.

1. Cat print dress with black collar

Okay, so the rounded collar — is it too cutesy for a 36-year-old blogger (who shall remain nameless; it’s me)? If I was 19, though, I’d rock the hell out of this with black tights and motorcycle boots.

Price: $95
Availability: Available now online at the Vicious Threads Etsy shop.

2. Secretary cat sweatshirt

To the kitty featured on this sweatshirt, call me. My employer is looking for another assistant.

Seriously, the glasses, the note pad, the bow-tie blouse… Too perfect for words.

(Reminds me a little of what Miu Miu did a couple years back.)

Price: $38
Availability: Available now online at the Rosie Music Etsy shop.

3. Eco fashion cat sweatshirt

Both models in this picture look like they’re deep in thought.

Doesn’t the sweatshirt look comfy? Tabs suspects that the feline featured is a tabby (see the M on his forehead?).

Price: $30
Availability: Available now online at the Sealmaiden Etsy shop.
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